Modesty vs. Lack of Confidence, how do you know which is which?

[Anonymous]

If I feel that I'm not that smart, good looking, etc... how would I know if it is modesty or lack of confidence?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Insecure = I'm so ugly.

Modest = I'm not super attractive, but I know I'm not bad looking.

Insecure = No one will ever like me.

Modest = I'm a pretty good friend, but I could be a better one...

Insecure = I'm dumb in everything I do.

Modest = I don't understand everything, but I can learn...

Insecure = I hate myself.

Modest = I'm a good listener, give good advice, always loyal - but I can be a bit stubborn sometimes or irrational...

Insecure = I'll never get a date.

Modest = I wish I had a boyfriend / gf...hmm but I still have a whole life to live...

A lack of confidence creates a shroud of self doubt and self - destruction - a point in which you 100% believe you are this negative trait or that negative trait PERMANENTLY, and there isn't anything you can do about it. You struggle to see your worth while highlighting the values that ultimately degrade you, and accepting those before you'll ever accept the good one's.

Modesty is understanding you do indeed have plausible worth as a person, but not so much that you fail to realize you still have flaws as well.

[AngelLily]

People with lack of confidence try not to put anything in there look but modest people actually dress pretty neat and can be fancy they even put jewelry with there stuff.

[upsyndrome]

Modest: link

Lack of confidence: link (angry girls)

[NerdInDenial]

It depends on if your perception is realistic or not. Some people are actually ugly, but if many people have told you that you are and you still believe that you are not, then you may have self-esteem. For example, I would say I have a lack of confidence and this is based on my low success rates in my past relationships and rejections. Thus, my perception is skewed. I may feel ugly or inadequate, but I may not be in reality.