Does he mean maybe sometime later, or just being nice and not interested?

Question

About 3 months before we met he broke up from a really serious relationship. That was really crap for 8 months before they broke up, they are still on ok terms, but I thought it was a bit fast once I found that out. So we met had a short , but very intense relationship, I freaked out, and basically ran away (broke up with him). I realized that was stupid a bit later, and we were chatting every day etc. (we have talked ever day since we met except when he was away and his phone didn't work for 4 days).

ok so I was supposed to meet up for a drink but both out work got too crazy and I'm going away on friday. So we ended up chatting on the phone two days ago, he knows me well enough to know something was on my mind, but we had a fun conversation I said I was ok and we agreed to go for a drink. He called me the next morning and asked if I was pregnant. I said no, we had a laugh and a chat about that but he had a job interview so to to to in an hour so not a good time to ask him if we could try again.

So I ended up emailing him, the relevant part of his reply was "To be honest I don't think I want to be seeing anybody right now... you said to me when we first starting seeing each other that maybe I should have some alone time and I think you're right. I really appreciate you as a friend and I really enjoy your company so I hope we can still remain friends?

With regards to the pregnant thing, sorry about that, I'm just so stressed and tired at the moment and when I'm like this I event even more things in my head to worry about. Normally I'm pretty cool and laid back but every now and again I blow and it looks like I'm going to do it this week! "

So... is this a guys way of saying I'm just not really interested in you ever and I'm a really nice guy and don't want to be a bastard. Or is he saying the timing is crap he needs some time alone but maybe at some other point he might be interested again (but no promises). Basically do I have a shot with this guy later on at some point?

Thanks if you read all of this if you go this far.

ManOnTheMoon · Accepted Answer

You really did screw up. Most guys are somewhat insecure to begin with and you kind of stepped on his heart when he just started trusting you. What you did was tell him that you were not interested in a relationship and you were getting to close. He's sitting at home thinking you blew him off because something better came along, or he did something wrong to scare you away. His last relationship has nothing to do with this. Why do women get so goofy when it comes to old relationships. Very few guys really worry about that sh*t. If he was married with children, then you could understand that concern. Nothing fixes a broken heart like a new love.

So his first relationship falls apart and just after that you dump him for no good reason. How do you think this guy is feeling about himself right now. I know that I would take a big step back. Clear all the cobwebs. Clean house and start anew. Out with the old and bring on the new. I would freshen up my look. Start going to different places. Basically look for a new crowd, because this old one isn't working for me. I think you really blew this, unless this guy sees through you. Don't hold your breath. A little advice for the future for all the ladies reading this. Let go of the past and forget it. To often women bring up sh*t that happened along time ago and shove it the face of their guy. This is just stupid, because guys don't think that way. We tend to be analytical. What happened in the past, stays in the past. It may prove to be a learning experience but has nothing to do with the current situation. Stay in the present and argue your point with what has happened in the present. If you say something like " 2 years ago you did this and said that" , you have lost . Your argument is no longer relevant.

This also holds true for past relationships. They are things from the past and that is where they should stay. You end up complicating the situation when you start dragging in the past. You don't think things are complicated enough without digging up the dead.

3rdalbum · Accepted Answer

He doesn't want a relationship with you, and he thought that "what was on your mind" was that you were going to ask him to take you back. So he pre-empted that by telling you that he doesn't want a relationship "right now".

I'm sorry. He wants a relationship, but not with you. Not necessarily because of your original break-up, but that certainly didn't help things.

S8tr1234 · Accepted Answer

It looks to me that this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. He already knows what it's like to be with you and you go out of your way to make time for him. It's great that you guys are in good terms but just don't expect much from him. He knows that you want him back, but at the moment, it's either:

1) he really just wants to be single and figure things out;

2) he doesn't want to get back with you at all and just wants to be friends because he doesn't want to be a jerk;

3) he doesn't want you back right now because he wants to see how things are with other women.

a) if he ends up liking another girl or girls, he won't get back with you and likely call you up for advice on the opposite sex ( you really don't want to be in this scenario); OR

b) if he doesn't end up liking the women he meets, then and only then will he reconsider; OR

c) regardless of a) & b) he doesn't want to get back with you but likes the idea of having you around in case he wants physical and emotional companionship...i mean booty call.

a number of other scenarios could also happen, BUT really you shouldn't be wasting your time on this guy. if you like his company, that's cool, you can still hang out. but at the same time, you shouldn't stop yourself from meeting other men. who knows, maybe someone else is more than ready to give it a shot with you. you never know...

need_help · Accepted Answer

I am in the exact situation well sort of hehehe. I met this guy and I got all crazy on him I was just jealous and stupid and he said this was just not the right time in his life for a relationship, I explained why I was acting this way and asked for a chance he pretty much said it 's not you it's me. I just need time...and I was like...ok what does this mean? Means you don't want ME or you don't want ANYONE right now...? means you will call later on or what? I really like him but I just don't know what to do...In your case, I think he rushed into the first time you were seeing each other then probably felt bad you pushed him away and just doesn't want to deal w the risk of having that done. Based on his email, I would say just give it time...this is what I'm planning on doing; I will wait some time and then either go by his place or email him and just say something like hey hows life? I've been thinking about you lately how bout coffee/lunch ? If after some time he doesn't respond then I will know for sure there's no hope maybe this will help you too.

EscapeKatie · Accepted Answer

Okay so I think that he doing battles in his head and really needs to figure it out he seems like a nice guy so most likely he's really saying "I'm really confused right now and you are too so let me take a break for a little while and lets try again later" and keep your hopes up but for the time being date a little nothing serious but date.

butterfly-girl · Accepted Answer

" Or is he saying the timing is crap he needs some time alone but maybe at some other point he might be interested again (but no promises). "

he is saying that the timing is crap.

he might even be scared because you first broke up with him so he sure doesn't want this to happen again.

Does he mean maybe sometime later, or just being nice and not interested?

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