Is he interested or just nice?

[Anonymous]

If a man helps me with a complex task out of our work circle (fin modelling) and wants to continue helping me (he’s not an expert in the topic also, looks like tries to make something up to help me), went out with me to give advise even being very busy, tries to initiate small talk when we meet in hall, looks into my eyes warmly, does it mean he likes me?
Tho he hasn’t yet made more obvious moves, does it mean I overthink everything or he’s unsure about my feelings to be more confident?
What should I do to show my mutual interest?

[SteveSmith1985]

This guy might very-well be interested. You're right, he is looking for signs that you might be interested back, before making his interest in you more obvious.

How you go about that, is pretty easy actually. All you need to do, is to "make a point to go out of your way to be near him; and make a point to go out of your way to start conversations with him"

At this stage, that really is all you have to do.

He will notice

(hey... she seems to always try and put herself near me, and I can see that she's making a point to come over and strike up a conversation... maybe she's interested back.)

And that gives him the 'green light' to step-up his flirting (and/or step-up his showing of interest in you).

Then you do... what comes naturally (which is to flirt back. You'll be flirting back whether you're trying to or not at THIS point)

Then... things kind of fall into place on their own from there (usually)

[Asker]

Thank you for your detailed answer! I do appreciate it. But I’m still confused, does this kind of help he gives me means he’s romantically interested in me? Or it’s possible he’s just being nice or like a good colleague?

[SteveSmith1985]

hahah, well you see THAT is what makes a situation like this difficult to read at all!

You're right... HOW do you know he's not being nice? MAAAYBE he's just a particularly patient and helpful colleague... You can't be sure it's NOT those things. That's the whole thing. You think it might mean something... but then you're able to convince yourself it doesn't... because you CAN indeed find other plausible explanations (like 'they're really nice')

So that's where you have to look for those little signs that perhaps... it's 'interest'. Those little things that might tip someone over the borderline between 'a nice collleague' and 'a colleague who seems interested'.

These are always MINOR signs. Many of them are so minor... that while they are clear and real signs, their nature makes it impossible to even put into words to explain to somebody. "A look" is a great example. "A look" can convey SO MUCH. but it's hard to explain to someone in words, just why that look meant, what you KNOW it meant.

So it's things like... noticing that he goes ABOVE how he acts with other people. So, this guy might be nice, and helpful to his co-workers generally... but is he taking THIS MUCH time and effort helping anyone else? If not, he might be interested in you.

If you've noticed certain... looks... that felt different than the way you look at everyone else. And he seems to also find something... significant in this look--this moment you shared--then he might be interested in you.

Does he seem to REALLY enjoy your company? Does he seem to be finding reasons/excuses to talk to you; or to be near you; etc. That might indicate he's interested

If you see multiple of these small signs ALL AT THE SAME TIME FROM THE SAME GUY... you can be confident he's interested.

The odds of ALL of those things being 'coincidences' and you're misinterpreting ALL of the different signs of interest AT THE SAME TIME... are pretty-much zero. 🙂

[Asker]

You are right and it’s the only logical option. Thank you for being attentive to the issue. You are awesome

[SteveSmith1985]

Well thank you very much. I hope things work out for the two of you!

[Summeroflove]

I wished I could tell you. Unfortunately I’m not a mind reader. It really just depends on the guy.

What is showing interest for one person could just be being nice to another and vice versa.

A lot of people expect someone to read their mind. But if you like him then make a move and see what happens. If not just leave it be and if he asks you kindly reject him as long as he isn’t pushy

[WhitneySnow]

He probably likes you. Flirt back a little. Just smile at him a lot and laugh when you think he’s being funny and he’ll like you for sure.

[Berethor]

Favors for the sexy trope, it's likely that he interested, but you can't know for sure.

[Asker]

How do I know for sure without asking right away? And how to show my interest him to understand v

[Berethor]

I am not good at giving hints or understanding hints, why can't you ask him directly?

[Asker]

Because 1) we’re colleagues 2) it’s more preferable that man takes initiative

[Iron_Man]

Probably interested