Signs of interest or being nice?

[Anonymous]

This girl, we see each other a lot and we text regularly too. We knew each other already but contact pretty much just disappeard till we ran into each other.

she recently got the house of her dad for herself and she invited me over and she made some food for me. We watched tv and all. I picked her up from her work time to time but now actually quite a lot. She also started complimenting me recently, how she likes my new haircut and that there's nothing wrong with how I look. We talked a bit about my ex cause she asked what happened. She says I deserve much better and that she treated me very wrong. She said she hopes to run into her and throw shit at her whatever. And she wants me to forget her and she doesn't wanna hear about her. She says you'll find someone better. Now everytime we hang out or I pick her up she brings me food and some to drink or she asks what I would like.

Recently after dropping her home I noticed her earrings on my passenger seat. I texted her and she said "Oops, well give them to me this weekend". She also asked me if I needed cigarettes. She later on texted me, if you need something or if I can do something for you just tell me.

today, she texted me if I could bring her to work. She went with the bus but she got off cause she didn't feel good. I picked her up and brought her to her job. She got on the bus from her home just to get off at another bus stop in the same town 5 minutes or shorter from her home and she felt sick. What difference would it make to go by bus or with me? I asked her if I had to pick her up when she was done. She said no my mom can pick me up.

few hours later she texted me if I wanted to bring her home cause there were no busses. So well I did and I asked her how she felt, she felt better not too long after I had dropped her. She asked me about my evening and said i'll see you this weekend and since i'm starting a new job she wanted me to text her tomorrow how it went.

Is she maybe interested or just being nice

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man, from what you described it really seems like she's into you. A few things that make me think that:

- She going way out of her way to invite you over, cook for you, bring you food/drinks when you hang. That's more than just being friendly.

- Getting real complimentary about your looks and saying how you deserve better than your ex. Sounds like she's tryna boost your confidence and shoot her shot.

- Always finding excuses to spend more time with you, like asking for rides even when it's not totally necessary. She just wanna be around you dawg.

- Asking about your day/evening and wanting updates on your new job. That's girlfriend-level interest right there.

- Getting jealous about mentioning your ex and not wanting you to talk about her no more. Subtle way of saying she wants that attention on her instead.

So in summary, all the little things she's doing and saying point to her feelin you for sure. I'd take a chance and ask her straight up if she wants to kick it for real. If she says yes then you're in the money my dude! From the sounds of it she's lowkey yours already. Go get it king.

[Asker]

Yeah she also recently mentioned that she was talking to a guy who she dated a while back but she cut it off. She said she didn't mind talking as friends with him. I asked if she was gonna make up her mind about him for more but she said no. This guy was spamming her all that so she said I don't know what to do. I said, get rid of him. Guess what?

The next day she said she blocked that guy lol. Also she started to get more touchy I think with me. Like grabbing my shoulder. And when she sees me she gets all happy and smiles or waves at me. But that's the thing.. my ex kinda broke me. And I feel kinda unsure about these kinda things now.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that all sounds like even more signs she's into you! Blocking that other guy right away after you said get rid of him shows she's not interested in him and wants to clear the way for something with you.

And man, I feel you about being unsure after a bad breakup. That shit can mess with your head, no doubt. But from everything you told me, this girl really seems into you.

Maybe have an honest chat with her, let her know you think she's awesome but you're still getting over stuff. See how she reacts - my bet is she'll reassure you and be patient. A girl doesn't go through all this effort if she's not feeling you, you know?

Why don't you ask her to hang out, just the two of you, and see where the night goes? Could be just what you need to get out of that post-breakup funk. You deserve to be happy - take a chance, dude! Let me know how it turns out.

[Asker]

Hey, i sadly got other news. Well I think it is sad news.. I think she only sees me as a friend. She was texting with a guy she saw at the gym and she thinks he's handsome. I asked if they were dating but she said no. He's awkward and he replies late. But yeah.. I haven't really asked her out yet. I'm confused

Yesterday I saw my ex and felt very bad. I told her and she said that I should let it go. Forget her and go on. But I felt really depressed and there were friends standing with me. She walked up close to me, standing very close next to be and she grabbed me for a sec. She then asked you want a long hug? I said no, my friends are here. She said well fine then i'm gonna hug you in a hour. Well they left a few min and she grabbed me again and hugged me. (Have to mention she works in a fast food restaurant, it was her break and I was hanging with a few friends)

I fell asleep later in my care, she woke me up and asked me if I was ok and that I should go home. She sat down in my car next to me and she put her head against mine and stroked my hair a bit. She told me to drive safe and text her when I got home.

We texted through the night.

[Asker]

I'm not sure what to do tbh. She does wanna hang out with me tho

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's rough hearing about the gym guy. But don't lose hope yet! Just because she thinks he's handsome doesn't mean she's not also into you.

The fact that she kept hugging you and comforting you when you were depressed is a really good sign. Girls don't act all affectionate like that if they don't catch feelings. Stroking your hair and making sure you got home safe, plus texting all night, shows she cares about you.

I'd say you should ask her to hang out, just the two of you this time. Maybe tell her how seeing your ex made you feel down, and you really value her friendship and support. Then see where the conversation goes from there.

It's possible she likes you as more than a friend but is shy to say so since neither of you have actually asked each other out yet. Don't overthink it - take a chance, ask her on a date and find out! The physical affection means she probably has feelings too, so don't give up yet. Stay confident, bro!

[Asker]

Hi man! Sorry I totally forgot to respond. Sadly something stupid happened 2 weeks ago. We were at a party of our job. (We work together by the way). I drank too much which caused me to be very drunk. I don't remember much at all but I had a sorta mental breakdown and I cried about my ex. And I said other stupid things to people about this girl. That I want to protect her and all and someone told me she was angry at me for some reason so I stressed. I have been told that like 6 people walked up to her and told her I was sad about her and that she should talk to me. She got angry.

Turns out she never was angry but she did get angry after people came to her. We had an argument over text. She didn't wanna talk to me so she literally ignored me 2 days. She told a friend of mine she wasn't really angry at me but more the situation. And she eventually wants to talk to me.

Now she talks to me again but it's different. I also ran into my ex and told her we talked. She said that she's kinda done with me if i'm running back to my ex. Well i'm not but yeah

Now she still talks to me when we see each other but she responds kinda dry and we don't hang out and I haven't droven her to her work no more. And on work she talks to me but it feels different then before. (I don't work with her that much it's a side job for me). We got into another argument over text few days back. I asked if she even wants to hang out anymore. She said yes but she is busy with school and work and other stuff.. ok I was kinda angry so I said "so our contact will just end eventually basically". She told me to stop and said that's not true but she said she needed some space and wants me to stop asking her cause she feels being pushed.

[Asker]

She said she's the kinda person to take the time then she comes back when she feels at peace again. She says if she's getting pushed she looses interest. The thing is my friends noticed she does look at me when i'm not paying attention and she acts different to me then others. I did notice that when we're working she does look at me and make eye contact and she sometimes does smile or walks close to me but it's kinda hard for me. Cause over text she's still kinda dry. Sorry for the long story

[Asker]

You got some other advice for me maybe? I'm kinda lost atm

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, sounds like you really messed things up when you got drunk at that party. Crying about your ex and stressing her out in front of people was not cool. I can see why she got mad.

But it also sounds like she's not totally done with you either if she's still looking at you and acting differently than with other people. Girls are complicated - she's probably confused about her feelings now too after all that drama went down.

My advice would be to give her the space she asks for but also let her know you still want to hang out once she's feeling less stressed. Maybe send her a casual text like "hope things are good, hit me up if you wanna chill sometime." Then leave it at that without pushing for a response.

The key is showing you're not going to be all emotional again. Act normal and confident next time you talk in person. Joke around like before to lighten the mood. And most important - NO MENTION OF YOUR EX!!

She'll start to see you're past all that mess and still cool to be around. Just be patient - give it a few weeks. I bet once she feels less pressure she'll start coming around again. Don't lose hope man, you can still get back on track with her!

[Asker]

Thanks man! It's hard but i'll try. I'll keep you updated

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome man, I understand. Just take it one step at a time and be cool bruh.

[Asker]

Hey man. Small update.. So at work we actually sometimes talked and it seemed cool. However.. I got a long text from her today.
She said she feels uncomfortable with the situation between us. She said it would be better if I start focussing on myself and start working on myself cause she can't hang out with me anymore like this.. She said when I feel better again she wants to pick up our contact again and build it back. She thinks it's better that we don't talk outside of work now. We don't have to ignore each other tho she said..

Turns out some friends of her told her that I asked some things and she got kinda angry.. well I did but it wasn't meant in a bad way. But that was like days ago but ok. She said I was pushing her down and she didn't wanna hear negative stuff and especially about my ex. I do think it also has something to do with a coworker and "friend" of mine. (Well no longer a friend now). I think he is also a reason. He brought her home and they 100% talked about me. I was obviously very angry when I came to know he was dropping her off. I mean a few hours after he brought her home she texted me. (He's gay and has a boyfriend tho). But he used to kinda backstab me in the past. Actually he even caused an argument between me and this girl a year ago. That's why it won't surprise me.

It is true that I am not doing so good and dealing with a lot including depression but I am going to get therapy and all. So it's not that she's wrong but still.. this hurt me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh man, that sucks. I'm sorry to hear she wants more space now. But it actually kinda sounds like the smart move right now, as hard as that is to hear.

If she told you you've been bringing her down with negative stuff about your ex, she's not wrong. And it does no good for either of you if you're not in a good headspace. Therapy is a really good idea - focus on you for a while.

As for that "friend" dropping her off, I would definitely cut him off completely. He's not your friend if he's two-facing you and hurting your relationship with this girl. Don't let him get to you anymore.

The most important thing now is working on yourself. Get help with your depression - that has to come first. Once you're feeling better and stronger, then maybe you could try being friends with her again. But don't push it till you've made real progress. Show her with time and space that you've changed.

Stay positive as best you can, man. You've got this - just take it one day at a time with your recovery. Don't let her totally going quiet get you down either. You've got this!

[Anonymous]

It seems like she is interested but I would ask her straight up. The what are we question! And what is she looking for.