Why do men find confidence attractive?

[Anonymous]

I just don't get it! Why is being confident so important and attractive to guys? And lastly, and most importantly, how do I get some confidence!?!?!

[WayTooPopular]

To be seductive, you have to be confident. Look at every scene in a movie where a woman seduces a man. Not where a woman shyly bats her eyelashes and gets a guy to go after her, that is completely different. When a woman seduces a man, she's making all the moves, driving him crazy and making him unable to think about anything but how much he wants to just give in and give her what they both want.

That's why confidence is sexy. It's related to seduction, so it's attractive in and of itself.

There is more to it, like it shows independence. Guys don't like having girls they have to take care of all the time or deal with little insecurity problems non-stop. Guys hate having to constantly be trapped in the "does this make me look fat" question, etc. That won't happen with a girl who is confident with herself.

Just the same way with guys though, being some ego maniac isn't sexy. A lot of hot girls get way too into themselves and let it turn them into horrible people, so women who are really full of themselves tend to be bitches (like guys who are full of themselves tend to be jackasses), so it's something to be avoided.

Also, because of the nature of this whole guy/girl thing, girls generally like confidence more than guys like confidence, and girls generally like shyness/nervousness less than guys like shyness/nervousness. What I mean is, there are plenty of guys who don't mind or actually like a shy girl. Insecure women in general try harder to please, because they feel like they have to in order to compete. There are less girls who like a guy who is not confident, because confidence is a major turn on for girls.

To get confidence, really it just takes practice. Probably the weirdest thing I ever discovered is that you don't even have to be confident ABOUT ANYTHING. You don't need a reason to be confident, you don't need to be that good or that hot or whatever. As long as you simply are confident, act confident, and seem confident, then bam you are scoring confidence points.

So just stop doing insecure things, stop worrying about things, stop talking down about yourself, stop displaying any displeasure you may have about yourself. Start feeling good about yourself, start thinking you are actually a pretty cool person (even if no one else does, it doesn't matter, you just have to be ok with yourself), start talking to people as if you knew they were perfectly fine with you talking to them. Look at what confident girls do, see how the flirt confidently, how they joke with hot guys, and steal pages right out of their playbook. Go to the mall or a book store or the movie rental place and just practice starting conversations with guys browsing the same stuff right next to you.

Basically just keep at it and eventually it will come naturally. You have to be able to keep going after any horrible mess ups though, which will happen. But that wouldn't keep a confident person down would it?

[Shimmyshammy]

This was an absolutely amazing answer!

[EasyEC]

Confidence is attractive to me only if it accurately projects a strong personal identity and self-esteem. To understand why, let's consider the polar opposite. A girl with no confidence and no personal identity is extremely likely to agree with whatever I say or feel. Dating such a girl would be like dating myself. I wouldn't feel like I was with anyone; I'd still be alone.

You can project confidence by having stronger self-esteem. This means that who you are is defined very well without being dependent on what people think about you. This causes you to say and do things that other people normally wouldn't (because they fear disapproval of others). The result is that people think you're confident for doing so.

Women whom are more confident (and whom find confidence in men attractive) have smaller dating pools but their confidence also tends to be the common link among sex icons. Angelina Jolie projects confidence, for example.

[Asker]

Interesting answer, but I have to disagree with you on some thing. I think it is possible to have an identity and low self-esteem. Just because you hate yourself doesn't mean you don't know who you are.

<case and point

[EasyEC]

I agree with you on that. However, I was referring to the solidity of the self-esteem (how sure they are in their assessment of themselves as opposed to positive/negative evaluations). Perhaps I should have used better words to describe it.

[Asker]

I think I know what you where trying to say now. Thanks for clarifying.

[FrozenDonkeyWheel]

I may, personally, be alone on this, but I personally prefer am more attracted to a lack of confidence, or, like, awkwardness, in girls. I think it's extremely cute.

[Asker]

Well thank god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cyhhgg]

Lmfao no need to thank him. Most men really don't require the same traits in a mate as a woman. Confidence being one of the. Lol Biology is rigged against men. Lol

[Petertheniceguy]

Guys like confident women becuse we like to feel like our girl could take care of herself without us, but that she chooses us, becuse we are the best guy out there. If you don't love yourself, how can you even start to care for a guy? would you want a guy who isn't sure of himself?

[Kayaking]

Not that important to me.

I like mine very hot looking but extremely dysfunctional and insecure enough that I seem really smart and clever. Beyond that, I hope they are inexperienced and naive enough to think I am the biggest manliest stud they will ever find (which, of course, is not true).

I am afraid too much confidence will make me look bad and she won't need me to solve all her problems.

[EasyEC]

What's with the down arrows?

Although it's not how I feel, it still seems like a perfectly valid strategy for becoming involved in an interdependent relationship that seeks to minimize cheating.

[Anonymous]

Male confidence and female confidence are two different things. Male confidence is very assertive, slightly arrogant, and slightly narcissistic as he knows he's attractive and valuable, whereas female confidence is more on the side of being outgoing and flirtatious. When a woman is confident, she is comfortable; when a man is confident, he's in control of the conversation.

Men don't find male confidence in women attractive, much like women don't find female confidence in men attractive, in that he isn't leading the conversation. I don't know why women think that the best way to get men is to act like a cocky, confident male since, as a rule, men don't respond well to it.

[JesseRider23]

eh.. some guys are. it shows that you're more outgoing and willing to have a good time/not hold anything back

you don't need to "get confidence" just talk to more guys and you'll become more comfortable around them, converting to confidence

[erock13]

I actually prefer a cute girl who has no idea she is cute better than a total knockout who knows it and uses it to manipulate guys.

[indian408]

shows that she's independent and sexually she knows what to do.

[KhaysunDei]

Dignity and nobility is attractive in itself