Why do some men find the successful confident look irresistible?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex was going crazy over me acting confident, he often said he loved how confident I was and how strong I was, he was telling me I was his heroine.

I have a feeling he disliked me being kind, he liked him being a “good boy” and me being a “bad girl” I think,

even now, he is not active on social media, but when I sometimes post pictures where I look confident, he posts nostalgic videos and pictures obviously about me. I know him well enough to know that.

I don’t care anymore, I just got a feeling he gets attracted to me the same way all over again, when he sees those pics of me.

I wonder why.

Updates

9 mo

I don’t care who thinks that a man being able to be vulnerable means - beta, but for me that’s Alpha af.

[caring__1]

Everyone has preferences, and those preferences can vary from one extreme to the other. Sometimes people are looking for someone opposite of them, in a vain attempt to make themselves whole, thinking the other's assets will rub off on them. Others look for identical clones of themselves, as any difference is seen as a threat to who they are and what they believe. Ideally, though it's important to respect our preferences, we want a good balance of different and similar, as that will allow for more growth, while maintaining a stable foundation upon which to grow. You obviously don't want to have to fantasize about others in order to be intimate with your partner, but being too specific can eliminate 99.9% of the population. Apparently, your ex was looking to make himself whole by choosing a partner who was the opposite of him.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

The thing is I always saw him as very strong, he was physically and mentally very strong as well. I thought I could just relax and for once be my less stronger self. But he didn’t like that. Isn’t love about being able to be your most vulnerable self sometimes though?

[caring__1]

Though he may have hidden behind a facade of strength, that suit of armor doesn't eliminate our inner insecurities. It actually only makes us feel that much more insecure. If both of you want to be vulnerable and show your weak side, that could be scary for the other, feeling they have to maintain their suit of armor to protect the other.

Vulnerability is important in a healthy relationship. Vulnerability leads to depth in a relationship. Without vulnerability, we're left with superficiality. Unfortunately, people project what they want others to see (or assume others want to see) and see only what they want to see, so it can be hard to choose a truly compatible partner. Since people tend not to be totally open and honest with each other, we have no idea what we are actually choosing. Let's say I narrow down your ideal partner to Xhlmsw, Ftygm and Vrpdb. Which would you choose? Unfortunately, with people being unwilling to be totally clear, open and honest, that's pretty much what we're left with.

We can follow the lead of others, presenting only an enigma, or we can be a role model for healthy change. Be the person you can respect. Any change that can exist in the future starts with us right now.

[GreatBigCircles]

Confidence isn't about 'being bad' or mean. A lot of guys enjoy confident women, because it helps them feel more comfortable about being open about their insecurities and vulnerabilities. Most guys hate feeling like a burden to the people they care about (I do too), so it can make them feel isolated if they feel like they can't share those feelings without making others upset.

But from what you've said here and in other comments... It kind of sounds like he's a bit of an emotional leech; he wants a woman to take all his worries and never ask the same of him.

Asking someone to die on their horse rather than fall is selfish, regardless of if its a woman or a man doing. Probably for the best you moved on from him, any good relationship needs to have mutual support and care.

[Girl242]

Being strong isn't about being perfect nor pretending to be. That's actually being weak. Needing armor. He is just attracted to power.

[sheikalana]

Because it is attractive to see a woman who has her sh*t together.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. You are an attractive girl even without the confidence.

2. When a girl is confident and she CHOOSES to be with us, it is clearly her choice and that is quite flattering. When a girl lacks self-confidence, we always wonder if she is with us simply as a result of her thinking she can't attract anyone else. Like she is with us by default instead of by design.

[AviatorTom]

I think I'm like most men... wanting a self-confident woman who can take care of herself when needed. I don't want to be a doting parent to my SO.

[loveslongnails]

Real confidence, when backed with real ability, is very attractive. If people are not attracted to that, it's likely because they feel threatened by it (irrationally) and insecure about their own abilities.

[monghjay2]

hahahahaha

why is this women talking? you know what you are meant for lol

your job is to look pretty and provide entertainment

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So is your job 💖

[monghjay2]

nah im good

dont need to be vulnerable

you don't care either way

now go be some good entertainment and wiggle that ass

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You think too high of yourself don’t you?

Very cute, making docile boys out of impolite men like you is one of my entertainments. Without even touching you 💖

[monghjay2]

sandwiches

[RavVid]

Confidence is related to posture and that can be attractive. Breasts are more prominent for a start. It sounds like he was oriented to subservience though and wanted a mistress.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Because of this witch

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hahaha, I don’t look like her but I’ve been told that I’ve got a similar aura and attotude as her actually.

[KrakenAttackin]

This is a strange question given your comments about your ex.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He thought he was bipolar, sometimes like this sometimes like that

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Also, please stop judging him. He was perfect for me the way he was.

[KrakenAttackin]

@lafemmefatale_1. So why didn't you marry him?

[Anonymous]

So, he liked being a "good boy" and you being a strong bad girl. Yeah, there are some men like that, but they are few and far between. Most men have zero interest in women like that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t like being a strong girl and I am not stronf. He told me I was strong and wise, he was quite dominant in every department of our relationship. He was very strong and masculine, but he liked me being confident, because most girls weren’t that way.

He liked me being my bad self though. In real life he was the other way around, he was very dominant and scary to other men.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then it sounds like he was just making an effort to boost your confidence.

[Anonymous]

If you are attractive and not fat it doesn't matter what you wear, in fact men would prefer you wear nothing

[ProbablyClueless]

That's just what he's into. Everyone has a preference.

[Slingshot69]

He's probably a beta who needs an alpha to feel safe.

[Inbox]

@Slingshot69 That's actually an interesting point.. Although, @lafemmefatale_1 did say that her ex boyfriend was bi polar, similar to @WilmaReportu

[justabuddy]

You don't have to be "bad girl" to be strong. I think self assurance is a universal sexy kid and of thing.

[justabuddy]

As far as the social media posts. Do you think he's trying to compete with you?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

In what sense? I never tried to compete with him.

[justabuddy]

Just trying to understand the social media part of the comment.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He seems to post things , songs, pictures and everything within couple hours after I post mine.

When he sees the confident, happy pictures of mine, he gets unstable, changes his profile pictures 9 times, posts songs and so on

When I am quiet he is quiet.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I know him all too well to think I am overthinking.

[justabuddy]

Gotcha... he's trying to bring back old memories.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why would he though? He jumped into a new relationship 2 months after we broke up

[justabuddy]

Some feelings don't just go away. He might be reminded of good times when you post so he gets mad.

Or she's not as good in bed. Kidding

[MountAverage]

Are you seriously asking why being successful and confident are considered attractive?

[mommymommymommy]

We like people who are fun and happy to be around. Typically that means "successful, and fun"

[Christoff92]

Because you understand his language and not getting into any disagreement. Which am assuming 😏

[Anonymous]

I find confident, successful, dominating women very attractive as long as they are still very feminine, but I also like FemDom.

[rebeliouse]

confident women are more fun useless girls are just like hanging round with a 3 year old

[Raperonzolo_Viv]

I wonder if he is into femdom

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No he is not, when I tied him up, he cracked up about how cute I was

[DextroShade]

He sounds like a pathetic simp.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That “pathetic simp” as you call him was the only man I loved and only man who ever managed to sleep with me.

So, mind your words before speaking.

[MilaRay]

Everybody likes something