I had a conversation with two friends and both said they like/prefer guys with the douchbag factor more than guys who are "too nice." One described her relationship with a guy and said its similar to an abusive mentality: "When he was a dick, he was a massive dick, but when he was sweet he was really sweet." she's right, this is the logic victims of abuse often use, but she still likes these kinds of guys. Luckily the guy she likes now isn't like that (I don't think...) but both stated it as a preference. The other said "being nice is lame" and said she can be "a bitch" in relationships sometimes and she wants someone who can throw it back at her and she doesn't want a doormat, which I guess is what comes to mind for her when she hears "nice guy." At least she's self aware? lol
What do you guys (women lol) like in guys, as far as this nice guy vs douchy guy thing goes? Are you okay with guys treating you like crap sometimes and then being really sweet other times, as a pattern?
I'm very outspoken and opinionated, so...I suggested to my gal pals that perhaps there's a self esteem problem. I asked if they thought that could be the case, because, in my mind, that's one of the main things that could justify accepting people to treat you a certain way. (And I know the one who said "nice guys are lame" had a father who wasn't the nicest, he used to bully her about her weight and stuff, so I think that may have something to do with it) If you accept your own self worth and value as something on another level, I don't think you would consciously prefer guys who act like douchbags toward you, or tolerate it.
But I know I look like the super judgmental, self righteous, feminist, prissy little good girl. My father didn't bully me, he treated me literally like a princess. My father is/was also honest with me about my faults (especially in my older years), he is way easier to talk to, open to discussion, etc. I think this relationship is one reason why my psychological relationship with men is different, in terms of the kinds of guys I like. If you're a douchbag to me, I'll probably say something snotty/sarcastic to you and dismiss your presence. You're done. Like, do NOT talk to me like that or treat me as if I don't matter and then expect me to follow you around like a puppy. I'm saddened that some women are like this...a lot of them really. I do understand the idea of not wanting a doormat. I can dominate situations easily, but I always step back to make room for the other person. I don't want a doormat either. And a lot of self proclaimed nice guys aren't so nice. But I think a relationship should be based on mutual respect and consideration. Not that everything is peachy all the time, or you can't be blunt with me, but I don't like these mind games and assholish shenanigans. And to hear my friends say they prefer that, not just that they fall into that trap accidentally, is just a mess. Boo.
What do you guys (women lol) like in guys, as far as this nice guy vs douchy guy thing goes? Are you okay with guys treating you like crap sometimes and then being really sweet other times, as a pattern?
I'm very outspoken and opinionated, so...I suggested to my gal pals that perhaps there's a self esteem problem. I asked if they thought that could be the case, because, in my mind, that's one of the main things that could justify accepting people to treat you a certain way. (And I know the one who said "nice guys are lame" had a father who wasn't the nicest, he used to bully her about her weight and stuff, so I think that may have something to do with it) If you accept your own self worth and value as something on another level, I don't think you would consciously prefer guys who act like douchbags toward you, or tolerate it.
But I know I look like the super judgmental, self righteous, feminist, prissy little good girl. My father didn't bully me, he treated me literally like a princess. My father is/was also honest with me about my faults (especially in my older years), he is way easier to talk to, open to discussion, etc. I think this relationship is one reason why my psychological relationship with men is different, in terms of the kinds of guys I like. If you're a douchbag to me, I'll probably say something snotty/sarcastic to you and dismiss your presence. You're done. Like, do NOT talk to me like that or treat me as if I don't matter and then expect me to follow you around like a puppy. I'm saddened that some women are like this...a lot of them really. I do understand the idea of not wanting a doormat. I can dominate situations easily, but I always step back to make room for the other person. I don't want a doormat either. And a lot of self proclaimed nice guys aren't so nice. But I think a relationship should be based on mutual respect and consideration. Not that everything is peachy all the time, or you can't be blunt with me, but I don't like these mind games and assholish shenanigans. And to hear my friends say they prefer that, not just that they fall into that trap accidentally, is just a mess. Boo.
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