Why does my crush no longer talk and look at me?

[Anonymous]

I have known my crush for a long time. Walking through the halls one day, my crush (not at the time) started smiling at me randomly in the hallway. And I mean uncontrollable, extremely happy to see me kind of smile. Me, being oblivious, didn't think anything of it. This became a usual thing. He even made up some sort of inside joke with his bff about me. Also, he plays sports, and he always gave me his pennants. Well, this go's on. This summer comes around. Now 8th grade, I am just head over heels for this kid. We continue to smile as usual and keep it up for awhile until all of a sudden he completely stops this. Like,, what? Me, being the one that I was did not understand this and made this completely worse by trying to get him to talk to me. DAILY. Was this wrong? Was this what drove him away? I don't know. I invited him to my bday party and he specifically said "Don't worry, I'll be there." He even got snappy when I went to talk to other people for a bit. by the way , his mom LOVES me. I've known her all through my awkward years. Anyways, it went back to being awkward after that. I constantly trying way too hard to get him to notice me. Then, 2 people told him i liked him with the reply that he knew this way before they told him. Skip to a later time, he wouldn't even look at me when I passed, and I just asked him to hang out with me and he said gladly, "Sure, anytime!" Which, by the way , was GREAT. But then back to ignoring... Skip to high school registration; I see him and he gives me the biggest smile EVER. like, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!! And we found out we had no classes. Things are fine and now its second semester and we have Spanish and we can't even look at each other. But sometimes I see him staring. I get so embarrassed and look away. We dont talk anymore but I really like him and miss him. I dont know what to do and just want us to become friends again.(if possible)

[meowcatwoman]

Girl, I understand everything going on and will explain the important things to you.

Let's start with he sees you as only a friend. If he liked you, he would have asked you out, as he already knows that you like him.

Him ignoring you and not looking at you doesn't mean he is avoiding you or doesn't like you. This is evident in the way he smiles at you and pleasant when you talk. Since you are a friend to him, he treats you like one, the way he treats a guy friend. Guys may have many friends and they don't always associate with them everyday. But they are still friends and when they do associate, they act the way they always do with them (like when you and him associate). You are treating your friendship with him as if you were his girlfriend or closest mate.

"He went snappy when I went to talk to other people for a bit". He is your friend and was enjoying talking to you and you went away like he didn't matter. Still, he shouldn't have gotten snappy with you, you have other friends lol.

Any other questions about other things you don't understand, I will explain to you. I have had guy friends all my life so I understand them :)

[Asker]

I have though about it, but as I replied to the other comments, HE ONLY DOES THIS TO ME. We don't even talk anymore. I've literally only gotten him to say something to me like 3 times these past few months asking simple questions like, "Do we turn this in?" He agreed to hang out with me EVEN when he knew that I liked him. I totally get the whole thing about me probably "being one of the guys" but he never showed me any sort of "affection" in front of his friends.

[Asker]

I should also mention that he is shy around girls, and I was really one of the only ones that was sort of "in the loop" back when we actually exchanged words. I think I freaked him out. Like, if I find out if a guy friend likes me, I back off and stop talking to them for awhile. (my crush would have been a diff. story) I feel like he might have liked me too, but once he knew I liked him he didn't know what to do and just stopped communicating as I do. Does that make sense?

[meowcatwoman]

He sounds exactly like a guy I know. He only treated me like this (exactly what your guy is) and only affectionate to me not around his friends. He knew I liked him (my friend told him) and he started being closer to me but when I told him I liked him, he thought I was taking things too fast, even though he had acted like he liked me back. He actually distanced himself from me because it was too "awkward" to talk to me. When I approached him and asked if he still liked me, he said "i only ever

[meowcatwoman]

liked you as a friend". Turns out him knowing I liked him was some sort of an ego boost for him and since I'm just a pretty nice girl, he liked it very much. but as soon as I became too "serious" it scared him off.

[meowcatwoman]

Took forever to get our friendship back to a normal one. After a month, we broke the ice through a game.. long story... and it was still awkward to have conversations with him. We usually were very touchy and I still liked him heaps, believing I was going to somehow create attraction and that he only doesn't like like me because of his maturity level. But even though we got touchy, there were more days where he was distant from me or seemed to ignore me. I stressed countless days trying to

[meowcatwoman]

Get our friendship back. But after a whole 3 terms of this (I was determined), I decided to just let him go. I stopped putting in the effort. And I started focusing on me. It took forever, but I eventually realized how much an immature boy he is and he isn't the one (I thought he was perfect for me, but he isn't obviously). HE then was the one who began to miss me a bit. HE was the one coming to me to start conversations. And now, I am crushing someone else, and he and I are just mates.

[Asker]

You, my friend are awesome. I was smiling a lot at your last comment here... That is sort of what I'm hoping will happen. But who knows. I guess you are right that I need to start focusing on myself more and not so much on him, especially since I over-think WAY to much...

[meowcatwoman]

You sound so much like me, it freaked me out a bit when first answering your question. And I WAS an over thinker too, I was so obsessed about every little thing. Seriously, good luck. If he really was your friend to begin with, he will begin to miss you, I promise. It just takes time lol. :)

[Asker]

Hey, so I went to go watch a game to see my friends playing and guys game was next, I went to throw away some stuff and my crushes mom yelled for me so I went and sat by his family for the game and eventually to watch his game afterwords. I hadn't ever really met his sister, except she followed me on instagram a few months ago and liked ALL of my photos. (My crush doesn't even follow me!) We didn't talk much but I talked a lot to his mom and a little to the dad and I think I sounded quite pleasant and fun. But still.. I don't know and still questioning whether or not his sister knows that I like him... So, games over, I go home, and now we skip to yesterday, when I was hanging down town, I saw his sister, and she said hey to me (twice bc we ran into each other different times) but in a very happy and as if we were good friends kind of way. Like of course, lets get the crushes family to like you while he is in his little boy stage. So, what do you think this means?

[meowcatwoman]

What do you think what means? And did you know the family before?

[Asker]

No, I have only known my crush and his mom bc of school. I JUST met his sister in person at a game I was at 2 weeks ago, when I sat with his family the whole time. But when I did meet her, we barely spoke a word, but then she was REALLY nice to me when I saw her Saturday and what not so I don't know if this is my girl brain being illogical and picking up on signs that are not there, or if that was her sisterly way knowing that I like her brother, etc, etc. But as I said, if this even is needed to be said, my crush doesn't follow me on instagram, BUT his sister started di and liked ALL of my photos. So, I'm just needing a slap in the face to know if this really is nothing important and I need to stop thinking that everything is a sign, because one of my friends said maybe he had his sister do that bc he was embarrassed or something. I don't know. Help me as best as you can! lol

[meowcatwoman]

I know this sort of guy and if he likes you, he would make it more obvious than this. Anyway, it is highly unlikely that a guy would get his LITTLE SISTER to hint to a girl that he likes her. I don't even think he would openly tell her, normal guys aren't like that. If he has a bestfriend, he would have told him, and possibly some close mates of his. But seriously, this IS just your girl mind making signs out of nothing. He just isn't into you, he is still at that immature stage. If there is ever going to be a chance, you have to have him be the one pursuing you and not the other way round. and if he doesn't, you can't do anything about it. You can't make anyone like you, and he may or may not develop feelings for you. As I said before, work on making yourself happy without him and don't make him the centre of your universe as I know you are still doing as I did the same thing :) And I wasted so much time trying to somehow impress him. So goodluck

[Asker]

AH, ok you're right. Thank you, again!

[meowcatwoman]

Any time :)

[XRabbitHeartX]

He sounds very immature still. Like a typical high school boy. My advice would be to really just stop giving him attention and make him come to you. He knows you like him and that is the problem. He is using this to his advantage and probably enjoys the thrill and excitement of knowing you fancy him. At his age his ego is huge and every time you give him attention his ego is very happy. If he truly has feelings for you, he'll come to you and be friends and initiate things. You've done enough now and sometimes you have to reach a point where you just completely let go and say that what should be, will be. Think about it. If someone is truly into someone why would they ignore that person and act so hot/cold? It doesn't make sense which means he probably is not as into you as you are into him. Of course we don't know what the future holds and things could change, but for now you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing you are crushing on him. Focus on other things for a bit.

[Asker]

As what replied to "greyhorse," I haven't given him any attention this year. and the thing is, he doesn't act this way to ANY OTHER GIRL. I know for a fact I am the only girl he has every hung out with. So, I'm not sure. and I know guys are weird and dumb at this stage so thats why I am cutting him some slack. but I do catch him staring at me sometimes. I'm just so confused and don't know what else to do. I've just been trying to dress decently and look more put together in hopes that he notices

[Asker]

Im pretty good friends with a bunch of his friends too, especially his BEST friend, who isn't even aware that him (my crush) and I are no longer talking, and bc his friend doesn't know that I like him (my crush) I just want to ease things and just forget all that happened and be friends again. is that possible? I have gotten so many different responses on this question I just need a solid answer. Someone said I should ask him about it, but I feel like that would make things more weird.

[meowcatwoman]

Worst thing you can do is ask him about it. That will weird him out and push him further away from you (boys can't handle 'seriousness' or 'drama')

[Asker]

alright then, bringing it up is NOT an option then

[greyhorse]

Being male, i agree with XRabbitHeartX. Guys think so to attract the best part of girl which she always reserve for the maximum. Take a little break; not too much. Just stay at distance but at the same time he will catch your loveable feelings that is will be the best part for your relation.

[Asker]

And thats the thing! I have completely stopped trying. Last year I definitely had no idea how to act, but now that it's a new year I have completely chosen to not give him any attention. So I don't know whether to keep this up or not, because we do not talk at all and I do not want to lose him as a friend. I am also really good friends with his friends and i'll bring up stuff that I do and they go off saying that he is the same way... Any advice on that?

[greyhorse]

Well, if it is happening since a year then he might have something else. Here is one thing i would suggest for you. Either you can call it trick or just to see what he is actually. Show him a little affection from your side in your behavior or actions. I hope you're getting my point. It must be something like you're trying to realize him that you guys had feelings or at least you and even today you want to be his well wisher in all aspect weather he is with you or not now.

[Asker]

I could see that... I'll try to maybe not be so closed when around him and attempt at saying hi or something. I'm in the process of trying to break the ice and move on from there.

[greyhorse]

You can go for it. But what i think, silent expressions are always killing. May you get what you want!:)

[Srdws]

Hee don't even look at me he never open my message totally ignoring my existence 🥲

[phillyguy1]

How about u talk to him

[Asker]

What would I say? How would I break the ice?