The Face of An Eating Disorder... It's Not Always What You Expect

[CHARismatic110]

Anorexia. Bulimia. Binge eating. When you hear and think of those things, what image pops into your head? Is it the image of a really thin person? Probably a female too right? And let me guess, she's white? Those are the stereotypes of eating disorders. That only white females deal with them. False. That a person who is thin MUST be suffering from an eating disorder. Also false. Join me as I share my Take with you on this very touchy subject.

By definition, anorexia and bulimia are classified as emotional disorders. Anorexia deals with lack of an appetite or pretty much not eating and bulimia deals with overeating and then feeling bad about it or forcing yourself to throw up. Of course there's more to it but that's pretty much the summarized definition. I've dealt with both of them.

I've never been thin. Ever. I was an ounce away from being 8 lbs at birth. I was a chubby kid that grew into a chubby teen that grew into a chubby adult. I also was never really an overeater. If anything, I didn't eat enough. I rarely ever even ate 3 meals a day. Breakfast? Pffft. Not the most important meal of the day for Char. For the sake of keeping to the point, I won't go into major details. I'll just say that 9th grade is when I first started to purposely not eat. 12th grade is when I started throwing up. Hiding it from my family was easy. My parents never really paid attention anyway. It wasn't until I got to college that my best friend (and now roommate) started to notice. That only made me more crafty in hiding it. It wasn't until after I moved back home that I did some soul searching and decided that the cycle that I was on was no good for me. Then I got diagnosed with RA and I vowed to make changes that would stick. And that's where I am today.

What prompted me to write this was thinking about my best friend. I've known her since we were 11 and she's always been naturally thin. But she always ate more than me. And yet people would always tell her that she needed to eat because she was too thin. And they still do. Even after having a baby, she's smaller now than she was before him. And it bothers her that people assume that she's thin because she doesn't eat. Just like it bothered me when people assumed that I was shoveling food down my throat every day. You can't just look at someone and assume. Because you'll most likely assume wrong. Not every thin person is starving themselves. Telling them things like "you need to eat a burger" isn't cool. Not every bigger person is an over eater and eating nonstop daily. Telling them things like "maybe if you stopped eating..." is also not cool. Anyone can suffer from an eating disorder. Men included. Body image issues effect them too, more than you'd think. I guess the point of this is to just be careful before you assume.

Thanks for reading. Stay classy GaGers.

#CHARismaticOut ✌

---

Sources

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anorexia/home/ovc-20179508

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bulimia/home/ovc-20179821

[godfatherfan]

I have been Bulimic since 1987. I was heavy most of my life. Before I became Bulimic I did lose about 60 lbs the right way. Then after losing a girl I loved I basically didn't eat for almost a month. I dropped over 35 lbs in 3 weeks. Then it became an obsession. I plunged as low as 185lbs, which made me look really sick. I finally told my wife on Jan 6, 1999. We had been together since 1989, she never knew. I told my whole family, nobody knew. We are really good at hiding things. Once I found a Eating Disorder help group at a local hospital, I found out all those "tricks" I thought only I knew about, we all do the same thing. It was helpful knowing I wasn't the only one. You know you have an issue, but it didn't seem so lonely. That help group did help me a lot. however, when I started "recovery", I went from 190lbs to 330lbs in 5 months. I didn't purge for 9 months and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have roller-coastered every since. I still purge. Sometimes I will go a while without, sometimes it is daily. but I have never been as bad as those 11 years.
www.SFWED.com saved my life. I was really bad off but figured "hey, people throw up all the time when they are sick, it can't hurt you".
well it certainly can. I got lucky in that I never had a serious issue. Although I did end up in the hospital a couple of times due to being sick. Had the doctors really known what to look for, when they said my triglycerides were out of whack it should have been a giveaway. But no long term issue have happened. But a lot of people have died from anorexia and bulimia.
of course the thought is that is is only women. and if it is a guy, that he is gay. My wife actually asked me if I was gay because all the information she could find online at that time (early days of the internet) said it was only gay men. I still laugh about that. Well I am not gay. i am no longer really thin. I am 6' 3" and weigh about 285. There is too much information to put in a reply or Take about Eating Disorders. I only hope that if someone has one, they seek help.

[CHARismatic110]

Oh wow. Well I thank you for sharing your story. And I agree that's it's very easy to hide. My family still doesn't know about it. I'm glad that you're better tho.

[rgb008]

I know the feeling. I was a binger and a starver for almost 2-3 years. I was already a kind of chubby kid in high school but when I graduated I wanted to be in shape for college. I literally over exercised and starved that summer. Dropped the weight but didn't keep it off for long. Eventually I fell into a binge eating issue. And I'm talking like jars of peanut butter, cartons of ice cream, cans of frosting, boxes of granola bars, bags of candy, I don't know you name it and I could have eaten it in one sitting. It was honestly such an unhappy time for me. Felt like shit and looked like shit. Probably ballooned up 50-60lbs. So embarrassing too.
I got help and have it under control, I still have my bad moments but they're nothing like how they used to be. I've lost almost all the weight in a healthy way now.
I agree that you can't tell by just looking. Its tricky too because it's not like a bad habit where you just quit it, you literally need food to live. So with my binging, it was really difficult to keep myself from eating more. Good job with making the necessary changes. It can be really hard to do at times.

[CHARismatic110]

Well kudos to you because you look great! But see, I would've never guessed that you've gone through that by just looking at you. The binge eating and guilt cycle was bad for me too. I'd literally be consumed in guilt after stuffing my face. It was bad. And yeah, it's very tricky. But overcoming is a great feeling. And so is seeing the weight come off from hard work. Thanks for sharing your story!

[Toad-1]

Wow im glad you overcame it and it really shows! you look amazing!

[rgb008]

@Toad-1 thank you! :)

[Spiorad_Aisce]

This is one of the areas where you have to be careful in fact it probably applies in all areas of life but this is one of the sensitive spots. Don't ever tell anyone what to do unless you are absolutely sure they are endangering themselves or others. If you have concerns, investigate maybe try and get information out of them. If your worries are not assuaged, if they are young tell their family and if they are an adult, maybe broach the subject of a professional consultation to advise on their lifestyle/eating habits/psychological state etc but as you say don't assume and blurt something out that could be totally wrong or even worse harmful to the person.

[CHARismatic110]

I agree

[Southern_Shorty]

I haven't been a tiny girl.. ever. I have always had extra pounds. It has been a challenge to lose weight. I have been to the doctor and I was diagnosed with acute bulimia. I had no idea what that was since I didn't make myself throw up, but whatever. I have had stomach pains since I was about 15/16 and finally went to the doctor for this at 17. Come to find out, I cannot have Gluten. All that mess, pain, and weight gain because of an excruciating reaction and rejection in my gut.

Honestly, because of this, I have been less judgmental with others have may be over or underweight. I may not actually understand the exact circumstance, but I do have more compassion.

[Southern_Shorty]

Less judgmental with others who may be over or underweight ****

[CHARismatic110]

Yeah when you deal with your own issues it definitely opens your eyes and helps you to be more compassionate to others.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

this is so true. i have so many eating issues and i've never been underweight in my life - my bmi always hovers around high normal, sometimes just slightly tipping into the overweight zone. and then that just makes my eating habits worse. i've been in a cycle of starving myself, eating everything in sight, and going on health nut streaks for about 8 years now. i've never talked to a doctor or anyone about it because i have so many other issues (anxiety, depression, etc). but it's lately come back and is really taking over my life this time.

anyway enough about me, i appreciate this take and i am so sorry for what you've gone through. people are super quick to make judgments and it's hard for skinny girls and fat girls to eat without being judged. it's really not fair. good take!

[CHARismatic110]

Thank you for sharing. I've never been underweight either, but I've gone through pretty much the same cycles. And dealt with judgmental people all my life. It's really sad. But thank you again.

[Jennifer94]

Eating disorders are all about your psychological state, not your physical state (although they often do result in physical health problems, i. e. being underweight). I used to be 4kg underweight, which my doctor said was 'quite a lot'. I've been at a healthy weight (BMI 20.5/21, depending on how empty my stomach is when I'm weighed!) for two years now. However, I still experience the psychological problems associated with my eating disorder (depression, self criticalness, distorted body image), on some occasions more than others. I go through good and bad patches. You might be able to maintain your physical health, but the psychological side of an eating disorder never truly goes away.

[CHARismatic110]

Oh trust me, I know. I've had a few rough patches myself.

[ThisDudeHere]

I'm very thin myself and would want to gain some weight. But my metabolism is pretty darn high. Last year I spent almost the entire year going to fast food joints and I don't know if I gained abything because I haven't measured my weight but visibly I did not change at all. Still thin.

[CHARismatic110]

Yeah some people are just naturally thin no matter what they eat.

[BelleGirl21]

Love this take. I struggled with anorexia for a few years when I was younger and I still have a really hard time feeling positive about my looks and not going back down that road. We just never know what people are going through!

[CHARismatic110]

No, we never do. And you should always feel positive because you're beautiful. Inside and out!

[BelleGirl21]

Only a true friend could see that 💙😘

[CHARismatic110]

Love youuu!

[Ginnyweasley97]

Thanks for sharing it is a touchy subject but at the same time these stories should never be forgotten. Sending hugs your way.

[CHARismatic110]

I agree. And thank you!

[HoneyButterCup525]

Im a thin girl and i hate it when people say im anoxaric or tell me to go eat somthing or make rumors behind my back just cause im skinny. And i eat more than usual. Great my take, two thumbs up 👍

[CHARismatic110]

Thanks

[HoneyButterCup525]

And i hope your journey through this goes well...

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

i'm surprised no one asked these questions, but what was your diet like and did you ever do sports competitively?

[CHARismatic110]

Junk food. I didn't eat much unless I was on a binge, but I ate a lot of junk. For example, most of my 12th grade year I was heavily addicted to mountain dew. I drank a 24oz bottle every morning among with chips or a coffee roll. I wouldn't eat lunch. And then when school was out, I was buying and drinking another 24oz mountain dew. I had to have them. I would go home and eating dinner was always it or miss. If it didn't eat I'd always say that I had a big lunch. And I used to play basketball and volleyball in middle school. And I was on the jump rope team in high school.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

yeah, that was your main problem. i'm not gonna say anything bad cause it'll be the pot calling the kettle black, but i mean if i knew i was getting fat, or start to (which i am :P ), i'd cut that out and start lifting and getting in shape again. i have avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (arfid), but i mean some stuff i'd be fine cutting out if i wanted to become skinnier. also, skipping meals isn't good for your health. and then exercise of course. i'm not the best example, but i did do track for 10 years and football for a few. i was gonna do track in college, but decided not to so to keep somewhat active (cause i know my diet would put me out of shape in seconds), i played a lot of pickup basketball and intramurals, like frisbee, rugby, baseball and stuff... and then i when it got (and gets nice out), i'll walk about 10+ miles and bike about 15-20. not saying you need to do that, but you get the idea of just getting out

[CHARismatic110]

What does Arfid consist of? And yeah, I know that skipping meals is bad. I struggle with that still. But I try. And I actually enjoy getting out and walking. I usually try to do 4-5 miles a day when the weather and my body cooperates. The staying active part isn't the problem tho. The only issues I have with that is that I have RA so I could be on track for a few days and then wake up to a horrible flare up day. My diet is the bigger problem. Just trying to eat enough every day.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

avoiding and/or being restricted to intaking certain foods... disorder :P. if you really insist on eating less, drink lots of water. it fills you up way faster than food will. and you can lose it easily cause it's just water weight. I don't know what ra is other than the dude or chick who's in charge of dorms...

[CHARismatic110]

Lmao I hate you. RA is rheumatoid arthritis. But yeah, I try to drink 74oz of water daily. I don't always get through the jug tho lol.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

i might be missing something cause i don't think arthritis has to do with weight. ... anyways, I don't know how much water that is, but sounds like a lot

[CHARismatic110]

Arthritis has to do with my bones. Which are very stiff and painful on flare up days thus stopping me from being active. And 74oz is like 4 and a half regular sized bottles of water.

[takumii]

I am destined to not put on weight until in my 40s.. Dem genes.
But I try to not exploit it :p

[CHARismatic110]

Well you have a good 20 years left.

[SirenDep]

Is RA linked to having extra weight?

[CHARismatic110]

Meds from RA are linked to weight gain.

[SirenDep]

thanks for the info

[CHARismatic110]

Welcome

[WantAnswersNow]

I've struggled with bulimia my whole life.

[CHARismatic110]

I'm sorry to hear that

[Waffles731]

This take must have been very hard to write

[CHARismatic110]

Not as hard as some of the others, but what makes me feel better is the hope that it reaches others and helps them.

[Waffles731]

I was dangerously underweight for a few years
However this was merely a side-effect of my ADHD medication but still they talked of having me committed so they could force feed me

[CHARismatic110]

Yeah, I don't think that would've been a good idea.

[Stacyzee]

Are you saying that you are anorexic?

[Stacyzee]

Although , there's no question you've dealt with fopd issues your entire life. I think saying that you dealt with being anorexic may be a bit of a strong word. Because this person usually has a distorted view of themselves as overweight. Not only do they under eat or not at all , but they strive to be the thinness they can be.
As for being bulimic , they also dealt with a distorted view of themselves. They overeat and throw up in efforts to be thinner. I guess my question really is , have you ever suffered from a distorted view of yourself? Or in fact does appearing "chubby" make you not want to eat? Have you lost any weight from this?
Asking because I am interested. Please take no offense

[CHARismatic110]

Every single time I've thrown up or purposely skipped meals was in effort to be thinner. Am I thin? No. Have I ever been thin? No. Have I wanted to be thin? ALWAYS. If you call looking in the mirror and picking yourself to shreds and tears and distorted view then yeah.

[Stacyzee]

Okay. I guess you're right people picture a different face of someone with an eating disorder. Perhaps that's because the extremes are usually shown. Someone far in.
I just hope you are getting better.

[CHARismatic110]

Yeah they do. And yes, I'm a lot better. I still have my days, but it's not a constant thing anymore. And thank you for taking time out to read some of my stuff. It's greatly appreciated.

[Stacyzee]

No problem :)