Dieting and getting in shape.. the right way

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Our culture is obsessed about dieting and looking great, and yet it’s astonishing how ignorant people can be. Hell, KFC recently released this unholy sandwich that uses two pieces of fried chicken as bread...and their little push? Fewer carbs!!

Dude, seriously? I always figured it’d be somewhat easy to play on people’s fears and dietary ignorance to make bank, but all of the examples around me just blow my mind. Meats.. no carbs! Bread with no cholesterol! Freaken A, man!

But here’s the thing - getting in shape and losing weight is actually really, really easy. And guess what? It’s simple. In this article, I just want to outline 10 simple points. I hope it helps!

1. It’s a mindset: Eat healthy

Ha, no duh, right? But seriously, some of people’s dietary habits horrify me. My friend’s roommate decided, for instance, that “eating healthy” would entail her downing a Chipotle burrito once a day. You know, sour cream, cheese and all. If you REALLY want to start losing weight and getting in great shape, you need to get into the mindset of only consuming healthy items. No ifs, ands or buts. Do you really need to get that fatty sauce on your sandwich. Probably not. No, don’t order that extra delicious cookie. Guess what? That soda you’re drinking is about 250 calories a glass.

You can eat really well, while consuming highly nutritious food that’s low in caloric density. Eat to be healthy and for energy, not because it’s the most delicious thing on the menu. “But I like to eat things that are tasty!” Eh, well you, me and everyone else, kiddo. So go out, take a solo sojourn through your local grocery store, and see what healthy foods they have there that you’d like!

Oh, and here’s one more KEY thing; Just “cutting back” on calories is stupid as hell, guys. Guess what? Starvation was kind of a big deal in our evolutionary past. As a result, our bodies are very well adapted to dealing with that crap. When you try to limit your caloric intake and starve yourself into fitness, you will enter Ketosis, which is a state where the body conserves calories and clings onto body fat vigorously. Think of it as an evolved failsafe; your body will use fewer calories, so you’ll feel tired and crappy all the time, and you’ll start craving really fatty things like crazy. Even on a small scale, it’s not a good tactic: not eating will slow your metabolism down quite a bit, especially in the morning, so be conscious of that. Eat breakfast, eat small, eat constantly, and eat healthy!

2. No rewards

Okay, so you’ve eaten healthy and worked out for a week. That’s cool. So that one cookie couldn’t possibly hurt. Heck, why shouldn’t I eat an Almond Joy? I deserve it!

Um… how about because that shit is so f**king rich in calories that it’s totally amazing. When the human body only needs about 2000 calories a day to function, do you really think that a 250 calorie candy bar won’t make a difference? Heck no. It adds up. Most people nickel and dime themselves into chubbiness. I haven’t eaten a piece of candy in over a year. And hell, you know what? My job while I’m here at college is at a Yogurt shop with a full bar of brownies, candies and cookies that people put into their yogurts as toppings. Oh, and a huge case full of ice-cream. Haven’t tried any of it yet though. Discipline can suck but it’s a must.

3. Keep it out!!!:

Listen, being at work is one thing. But even for me, if I’m kicking it at my apartment, and I’m bored as hell, pointing and laughing at whatever girl is on MTV’s “16 and Pregnant”, I’m GOING to snack. Me, you and probably anyone and everyone else. You need to exercise willpower...but not at home; at the store. Don’t put that crap into your home. Say no while you are perusing the aisles. Once it’s home, chances are it’s going to get eaten sooner or later. If you are REALLY dedicated, throw that crap out and don’t bring any more in.

4. Snacking

Okay, well, I DO have a quick confession: I have one hell of an addictive personality! Especially when it comes to consumption… So, what have I learned to do? Sounds really random, but, eh, well… beverages! Instead of snacking on those chips, reese pieces or whatever the hell else you want to eat, I just down lots of fluids. I use to have an addiction with diet soda (I use to go through like 3 liters of Diet Pepsi a day)… but then I moved to those freaken Monster drinks… the no calorie ones… That was about 12 bucks a day. Now I’m on unsweetened tea, which is awesome. My addictive personality totally latched onto this now, but its super cheap, (again, no calories) and not half bad. If you’ve got an addictive personality, try to find something to let yourself hooked onto that’s not full of calories with ever bite (or gulp). It being cheap helps too… damn Monster drinks.

5. Exercise Intensity = success

Okay, now onto the next part of the equation: Work out. And workout hard. When you go to the gym, don’t just go there to sit around with a blank stare. I would highly recommend finding a fitness savvy friend to show you some of the ropes of some great workouts that you can do. (BTW If anyone is trying to get in shape and they REALLY don’t know where to start, hit me up. I’ll help you out, no problem). Personally, I just train to do combatatives, so all of my workout is conditioning for that. I would recommend keeping times and logs… Eh, for example, I’m up to 5 minutes straight on a flat plank now, and if it wasn’t for that little POS stopwatch, I’d be damned if I hold myself like that for 5 minutes straight. Also, try to break your workouts into 3 simple categories; Abs, Upper Body and Cardio. Screw weights. If you’re a guy, it’s worthless deadweight. If you’re a gal, you can probably get more toned and flexible doing endurance workouts without weight. In the end, it’s about catering your intensity towards your goal, whatever that is. Ah hell, if you’re a guy, for instance, and you want that studly dead-weight muscle, go for it dude… Whatever. In the end, the key word here is “Intensity”.

6. Exercise consistently

I don’t give a shit if you tear yourself apart to shreds… if you are only doing it once every week or 2, it’s not doing much for you. Consistency is the magic bullet to building yourself up. I do Abs and upperbody about 2 times each a week, and run 5-10 miles every other day. If I can do that while taking 18 credits in college, working, doing military training, knocking out National Guard obligations and maintaining a vibrant social life, then you sure as hell can too. No excuses… excuses are like assholes… every piece of shit uses ‘em. If getting in shape and fit is your MO, you’ll make time.

7. Find like minded people

One of the best motivators for getting in shape is simply finding other people that have a similar sense of drive and motivation. Many of my close friends are on the same page (not from the start, a lot of us actually got there together), and we keep each other motivated to eat right and exercise consistently. When you DO want to punk out on working out, or you REALLY want to eat that crappy food, it helps to have that friend eyeing you with condescending judgment and shaking their head!

8. Be good to your body

Alcohol is a great way to dehydrate yourself. Also, when you are trashed, many people gain weight because they will eat food they normally wouldn’t if they inhibitions weren’t stunted. Be aware of what your recreational habits are doing to your body.

9. Sleep
Get a full night of sleep, and sleep consistently at the same time each night.

10. Finally… There is no silver bullet

Everyone wishes there was some way to just make it all easily go away; a way to down junk food and not have it matter. But that’s not life. If it is your goal to get fit and in shape, you simply need to make it a priority. It’s on you. If you stick by the simple fundamentals of eating right all the time, exercising consistently and sleeping regularly, you will drop weight like crazy. Guaranteed.

Good luck!
Dieting and getting in shape.. the right way
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