I already work out in the gym several times a week. My GF is a few punds extra so I want to encourage her to excersise and show her this photo so she can make it her goal to look like that.
What I`m asking is it fair if I ask this of my GF?
Updates
+1 y
I have gotten the message not to show her the photo because that will hurt her, fine. I was thinking of showing her pensioners that run weekly in our street, in order for her to get the idea that staying active will help when a person gets older. And you should start as early as possible.
Updates
+1 y
I find her attractive but I only want her to stay fit and active with me I choose her because her personality
I want my girlfriend to be fit and look like this?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
There is a good chance that even if your girl goes to the gym daily, she won't look like that. Different bone structures, fat builds up different places...
Girls really can't control whether out fat goes to our butts, boobs, or waists, as much as we'd love to.
It's good to want to challenge each other to be better. Inviting her to the gym to share your interests with her and cuz you want what's best for her is sweet.
But inviting her to the gym because her body isn't good enough for you is a douche move.
Take a good look at your motives, because if you just think she's not good enough for you, why are you dating her? It's bad for she who has to deal with your arrogance, and for you who feel like you deserve better.
Be kind to yourself by not settling for someone you're not crazy enough. Be kind to her by not keeping her in a relationship with someone who isn't crazy about her. And get down off your high horse - maybe she doesn't have a perfect ass, but ((newsflash)), there are other assets. We're more than mannequins.
under your nose and told you I want you to look like that, go to the gym more often!
If you wanted her to be active and healthy as you claim that'd be a different story, but clearly that's not what it's about otherwise you wouldn't have chosen that picture. Because she can go to the gym everyday and eat clean and not look like that. A lot of those butt pics choose their pose very careful and/or use photoshop and/or have implants.
Being a girl in this world, she probably already feels enormous pressure to look a certain way. Everything is telling her that she's not good enough it coming from you is just so much worse
Honestly. I am a gril. A male I have cared about asked it of me, you know. To simply be healthier. And because I agree with him, and want the benefits myself, I'm game. A lot of people on here, have good points. But, as a female whose been asked to do this, I enjoy it. He holds me accountable. And I am reaching my desired goals. Plus. Looking hot for your man, I think is a major turn on. He likes it, and because it pleases him so, it pleases me.
Anyways. Yeah. My girlfriends and I, we all like to do these things for the guys were with. One girl goes running, another keeps the fridge stocked with fruits and veggies. All because we want to do this for the guys. We're all hot. Confident. Ext. But. What motivates and pleases him. Pleases us. Example. I used to just not eat. I was too busy. One day he calls. Says hey, we're gonna do this. Because I agree and I already know my body pleases him, I say okay. Why not. It's just. Healthy and good. Good luck yo.
A few facts about it. Yes. Be cautious. Make it a together thing. I'm the not so fit one. My guy is the total hotttt one. He lets me know he cares. And already appreciates my body. And I KNOW that. Make sure your girl knows that too. It can go well, or sour. So. That's it. Good luck.
I want a girl with a body that looks like that too. I have a body that is pretty much equal in terms of aesthetics, i am in the gym 5 times a week and have done so for over 3 years. Unfortunately women aren't nearly as attracted to the male body as men are to the female body, so i can't attract a women like that with my body alone, even if my body is better than hers. This has nothing to do with your question, i am just sympathizing with you that i want a girl that looks like that picture.
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Asker
+1 y
I understand your pain. Youi would have to boost your confidence and how you carry yourself that would add to your appeal on top of your trained body. Since you go to a gym regularly you are in the paradise of fit girls there should be plenty to choose from.
Just try asking her if she would like to come to the gym with you sometime just for fun. If she doesn't then put the brakes on right then and there or else that just makes you a total douchebag.
I understand wanting to help someone important to you better their health, but if they don't want to then don't force anything.
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Asker
+1 y
I know you can`t force but I think it would be expected
Clearly, the whole point flew way over your head. My point is, if that's the type of girl he wanted from the get go. Why get with someone that is opposite? If I want a guy who is career-oriented? Why would I go after a drug dealer? It just doesn't make any sense. Clearly @saga-agustus you have poor judgment. This isn't even about health. It's all superficial. Not once did he say anything wrong medically wrong with her. All he stated is he wanted her to look that way.
It's one thing to be with someone and their appearance changed over time. It's another thing when someone isn't your physical type and you enter into a relationship trying to change them.
That's great you won't break up with her. Although bear in mind if she wants to get fit with you doesn't mean she will look like that girl! You can be fit and healthy without all those curves and doing squats ect!
OOwner I choose my gf personality over looks that`s why in the get go I didn`t pick her only for looks. You girls don`t want to give me credit for this. Its only after I knew her that I`m trying to get her to be healthier.
If you chose her personality over looks then this shouldn't be a main issue. You're not just telling her you want her to be healthy but you want to show a photo showing an expectation for her. if that's not a blow to the face then I don't know what is. Speak to her and try to engage a healthier lifestyle. Suggest that you want her to be your work out partner. Ultimately , you can't force someone to change. She has to be ready for it. All you can do is suggest it.
Stacyzee as much as I appreciate your concern for my poor judgment. I'm a guy and I know what he's thinking. He never spoke about wanting her to look like that. This is something that guys do we have a photo of a muscular man to encourage ourselves to work towards it. And this guy is dum enough to think that would work on girls too.
It sounds like he knows he couldn't attract the type of girl he really desires, so he gets a girl who is attainable to him and tries to change her into his fancy.
All that's OK for you to do is motivate her to go to the gym. Mention nothing about her body type and definitely don't show her that picture. Just ask her to go to the gym with you.
You're the one person who should accept her the way she is. Showing her that pic would only tell her that you find her fat and unattractive, and I would get REALLY mad at you if I were her. Then I would just challenge you to fucking break up with me.
Which maybe you should, if you're trying to change your girlfriend because of your shallowness.
she'll find her own motivation pic if she wants to. You have no right to wave that pic in her face and tell her she has to change herself into something like that.
So you began dating her knowing she doesn't look like that, yet you expect her to change to suit your preferences. That's a lot of nerve you have there.
I guess it can be seen as a lot of nerve. I know when I have a girlfriend, I just naturally want to look good for her. I want to date a girl where we can better eachother all the time. A girl thatll help motivate me. A girl I can motivate. I think the nerve come from "hey babe, i want you to look like this" rather than "hey babe, lets go work out together" Ill say yes to a couples workout any time.
Never be in a relationship if you aren't completely happy with the person. I can't stand people who enter relationships but then want to change this and that about their partner. You should have thought about that before making a commitment to them.
Well please understand us All that I want for my Angel is for her to be healthy and live a long happy life with me and stick around till we see or children grow into a fine adult. And I believe that's what all guys want.
@Saga-Agustus He didn't say she is overweight and at a medical risk. He said she has a few pounds extra. That can mean anything. Unless we know her BMI I wouldn't jump to conclusions...
I'm in a relationship with someone who loves and truly cares about me and it would never cross his mind to show a picture of another girl to me and imply that he wants me to look like that. He compliments me all the time, he doesn't care if I gain 10lbs because I was sick for a month and in return I want to make myself look good for him because he already appreciates me just how I am.
It's perfectly fine wanting your partner to be healthy but nitpicking your partner is bullshit and your relationship should be more than superficial. I think if you're a guy and this is your issue, then maybe a relationship isn't for you or maybe you need to find someone you can appreciate for your sake and for your partners sake.
You never specified how she feels about herself, if she's confident and accepts her body the way it is then my advice is to love and accept her the way she is, or do her the luxury of stepping down so the right guy can adore her the way she is..
You're right to keep the pictures from her and I'm telling you to NEVER show her and tell her "I wish you looked like this," unless you want to get slapped or flat out dumped..
If, on the other hand, she's expressed displeasure with her body "my thighs are too fat", "I have a muffin top," " I need to start working out;" then by all means, why don't you lay the offer out on the table to go for a jog with her or hit the gym together, the next time she brings it up. However, don't make it about wanting her to reach the goals You have in mind for her.. It's her body and she lives in it and make sure she knows you love her just as she is regardless, or hit the road.
Nothing wrong with it, because women demand men to change get in shape all the time and if the guy don’t do it then she will up and leave him without a second thought. Unfortunately this is another example of how one sided relationships can be.
If your in shape or working out and getting in shape there is nothing wrong asking your girl to join you in this, but odds are if she does and she gets fit she could like fit guys and leave your for someone fitter.
Its just something I’ve seen happen way to damn manny times, and it’s very unfortunate for the guys.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
In a way I understand what you're saying. I am extremely active and I keep myself fit and thin. I want a guy who also keeps himself fit as well. However, if I met someone I liked enough and we had other things in common I could look past it if he wasn't physically fit. I wouldn't want to change him. I have actually dated someone in the past who wasn't physically fit, and we got along fine. He actually dumped me for someone bigger. So I do understand where you're coming from, but you're likely going to really hurt her feelings. Girls can be sensitive about their weight. So you're going to have to be really careful if you do choose to bring that up.
Also, no matter how much I work out, I can never ever look like that girl in the picture. So even if your girlfriend loses the weight, her body might not look exactly like that picture. We all have different bodies.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
thanks! I know humans have different genetics so even if you are to 10% body fat its not necessary you will look like that girl in the photo.
Why should she have to change herself just because you want her to fit YOUR ideal? I suggest you find another girl who fits your preference instead of trying to change your current girlfriend to appeal to you. By showing her that picture, you're just setting up expectations for her to reach, bound only to make her feel worse about herself.
Again. For the girls who've never been loved by their boyfriends. When a guy really loves a girl he starts to worry about her health like crazy. And try the best he can to help her.
@Saga-Agustus Yes, but this guy wants to change her because he wants her to LOOK like that girl in the picture. It's like wants her to fulfill his desires in what he wants in a woman by exercising, not in regards to her health. A guy that truly cared about his girl's health would not show concern for what she would look like in the end, the fact she's healthier would be enough to make them happy, regardless of her appearance.
Well, Asker, there wasn't really much point putting the picture there. You could've just said you wanted her to tone up. The picture made it seem as if you want her to fit that ideal.
If the guy had really loved you they would have been by your side the whole time when you were sick and made you food and took you to doctors. And asked you to go to guy or jog if they think you're diet is unhealthy.
If the guy doesn't DO that it means he doesn't.
AND This is something that guys do we have a photo of a muscular man to encourage ourselves to work towards our goal to attain such body. Which we do know is impossible. . And this guy thought that would work on girls too not a smart decision. But still.. He loves her
Ask her if she wants to go with you so that you can work out together. You'll show her how much you like working out and why. After you've worked out together, if she liked it, tell her that if she does it too she'll look ever hotter. If she doesn't like it and she feels good about her body don't push her. You will hurt her. Just DON'T show her this picture, don't do it.
No don't show her a pic and tell her to try and look like that çause that could hurt her. Instead encourage her to get healthy and ask her to come to the gym with you. you could work out together. But don't ask her to look like somebody else. That WILL hurt her and you should love her for what she is but its a good thought if you''d like her to get healthy and fit
You obviously didn't "choose her because of her personality" because then you wouldn't give her a picture to look like. It's fine if you want her to stay fit, but don't send her a picture. This is how eating disorders start. If I were her, I would end it and look for a guy who doesn't need her to change her looks just for him. You're a douche
You could request it (as in getting fit together and not looking like that, because you'll get a chair in your face), but not expect it. It's her choice what to do with her body and if you don't like it how she is now, then you might have to look further.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I aggree with others. If it's so important to you to have a girl look an exact way and be as fitness orientated you are then maybe you should get someone with the same interest.
You can't expect people to change unless they want to. If she does then great. But try and go the right way about it.
If she is happy the way she is and doesn't want to but the fitness thing is more important to you then her and your relationship. Time to move on.
Why can't you understand that when a guy asks you to loose weight. Hey is soo worried about your health. And even though he says it just ones or twice. That's all he thinks all day long worried sick.
Haven't any of your boyfriends worried about you like that
I do understand it! But what I also know is that people only change if they want to and you can't expect it! Doesn't mean I don't understand that boyfriends worry about health :p
Well then at least try to. Changing yourself for the loved ones is what people in love do. Don't you expect to be your boyfriend to be honest wit you and not sleep around with other women.
Well , sleeping around is what Guys do it's what they are. Aren't we changing the very nature of our being for you. What's the problem with losing a few pounds Or Going to a dentist Or Learning new skills and stuff Or At least eat healthy for that matter
You should love her for what she is and not try to change her. Like pr3ttybr0wn said, you began dating her seeing her physique for what it is but you thought you could try to change her into what you wanted. That's not how it works. You find someone that meets your preferences to begin with so if this bothers you enough, find someone else.
Why not just ask her to be your gym partner? Instead of shoving pictures of beautiful girls at her and telling her that you wished she looked like that. Was she that weight when you got with her?
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4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I haven`t shown her any photos yet and I won't be doing it. And yes she was that weight
So then if you weren't happy with her weight then why did you get with her in the first place? I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with encouraging her. But do it for the right reasons. Not just because you want her to be "hot".
No. When you agree to go out with someone, you are saying to that person, "I approve of you. Keep doing what you're doing". It would be unfair to start making demands of change.
I work out at the gym all the time and I want to look like her too! Wth? I mean that girl looks like a model... what exercises should I be doing for that? 😕😞😒
You should've specified that asker lol. Could it be that you're also not being clear enough with your gf? I hear you say "I want her to look just like this girl" well a guy might translate that as "she has a nice butt" but women will always translate it as "if I'm not as good as her in every conceivable way then I'm ugly".
getting her active is fine, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but her body isn't gonna morph into your ideal when she starts jogging or whatever.
Don't show her the picture but try inviting her to come get sweaty at the gym with you tell her you'd love to see her sweat in her cute workout clothes and see if she goes for it. It's not really fair to want her to look different but you might as well try if it doesn't work than clearly you two enjoy different lifestyles.
No I'm not home slice. What you're asking of her is really shallow. If you don't like the way she looks you two shouldn't be seeing each other to begin with.
What if she thinks neither of you have nothing to improve and likes the way things are? Her looking like that isn't an improvement and if anything it would do more emotional damage than you think.
First off if I were to have my dream body there'd be a lot less ass implants and a lot more boob. Second thing is no one is jealous of her, her face (average) and body type aren't my preference. If I were to go lesbian today I'd much prefer a ginger with a doll face and nice tits. :T
Right. So she has a fabulous personality but now that the honeymoon is starting to fade, you're wanting to change her. Do you know how she feels about her body?
Demanding her to look like that is NOT okay, but encouraging it is - as long as you step lightly, it's a very sensitive topic and you could easily ruin her self esteem.
I think it's fair if she's the type to take up a challenge and if she's already not tha far from the picture you have. If that woman looks too different from your gf I think it will offend her
I understand dude I don't think it's a big thing to ask of her just go ahead. Girls are too senstive about this weight thing I called a girl over-weight on here and got tons of crap for it. But if a girl called me overweight I'll just accept it and work on it. Girls sometimes have double standards it's silly
I think it's fair. If you take care of yourself she should too. Exercise is healthy and if she's overweight it's good for her. I don't know how to ask her without offending her though
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
What I would do is just say "Hey, you should exercise with me sometime. It's hard but it's really fun, and I personally think you'd look even better with an athletic body."
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