Is this normal thoughts or some kind of illness that makes me think so much?

[Anonymous]

This takes aways all my motivation on daily life and not feel like doing them, and if I do, IL be like "no I'm not gonna do it, let me think about the thought just to see if it is pain" the thought is surgery, anesthesia needles and stuff like that.

Everyone I think about it, IL be like this is my last time, so let me take my time and think... but it isn't really my last time. Thinking about how they shoot you with the needle and how it looks and prepere (anesthesia needles only), and how they use the knife in surgery. be honest, this question may get removed if I use this word that starts with the letter d and ends with th. .. (5 letter) what's the point of going on and on if you can't empty your mind and be positive, I take whatever negative or medical and just stuff it in my mind forever.. how do people live so wonderful and a great life and going out, taking picture, posts etc.. 😟

[fran_chic]

There's some light in living. If you made till here, its gotta mean something. I know is tricky, but think about it. Sometimes there some really simple and nice things that get to be extremely enjoyable (for me its music, chocolate, landscapes, walking around, meeting ppl).

If you can't seem to find these things, and there's no light for you, please look for professional help. It's not okay but you defenitely can be helped out.

[Asker]

But how am I able to get helped if it's my mind, they can't just throw away thoughts and take them out... I really can't stay like this, it's depressing and the thinking gets somewhat scary and just suicidal...

[fran_chic]

Well, besides many other things, your thoughts are deeply connected to the biochemical and physiological balance of your brain. So yeah, if you check it up and it turns out there something wrong with that, professional help can totally help you stop thinking such things.
You are not the only one. I have been there.

[Asker]

I have tons of anxiety to the point I couldn't talk to a cashier without my heart beating, ... so I'd if that has connection... and if there isn't something wrong, wouldn't think of these stuff a lot. . I used to stand still for like 10 minutes and think... I was like that to cancer before 2 years, now it's just surgery after I got over cancer thoughts...