I have always had a problem with self loathing and a touch of apathy, this resulted in a problem with self harm that lasted quite some time (I've been clean for around a month) but lately things have taken a dive. The self loathing has kicked up a notch that i thought was not possible to reach and the apathy has gotten to the point where i just can't find the motivation to do much at all and it is very negatively affecting my study. I can't even sleep, for the past two weeks i haven't been able to fall asleep until 3 or 4am and when i'm alone i can't even find the motivation to leave my bed most of the time and end up in there as late as 3pm
What scared me the most recently was one day when i was trying my best to just go about my daily routine and make it through class i was feeling this regular level of apathy that i have grown accustomed to but then i noticed something odd when i met up with my boyfriend (who i love a lot) i couldn't feel anything. my emotions usually come at me so strong when i'm with him but this day it felt like they were coming through frosted glass, i felt empty and it terrified me. i felt so broken.
I honestly don't know what to do, I've never been the most mentally stable person but i never thought I could have depression, like I never thought it was that bad. I just feel like i'm drowning and I don't know what to do
(p. s i hope health and fitness was the right topic to chose, honestly didn't know where else to put this and mental health still counts as health i guess)
What scared me the most recently was one day when i was trying my best to just go about my daily routine and make it through class i was feeling this regular level of apathy that i have grown accustomed to but then i noticed something odd when i met up with my boyfriend (who i love a lot) i couldn't feel anything. my emotions usually come at me so strong when i'm with him but this day it felt like they were coming through frosted glass, i felt empty and it terrified me. i felt so broken.
I honestly don't know what to do, I've never been the most mentally stable person but i never thought I could have depression, like I never thought it was that bad. I just feel like i'm drowning and I don't know what to do
(p. s i hope health and fitness was the right topic to chose, honestly didn't know where else to put this and mental health still counts as health i guess)
Most Helpful Opinions