Mental illness?

[Anonymous]

Does anybody else suffer from severe depression? I've had it since I was a kid, and it's affecting my life. I try to be confident, but I have been bullied to the core, and not sure how to cope. Tired of being lonely, and down all the time, cheated on in my face 2 times, never had a real relationship, no friends, no money, and still a virgin. Starting to give up.

[Snow-Girl36]

Yes. I hear you completely on the bullying and the tired of being lonely thing. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that and experience what you did. I can relate to how you're feeling.
I grew up with bullying from middle school through high school, as well as from my family and those who cared about me. I was constantly talked down to, and walked over by even those people who I thought loved me. I went through a similar relationship that was toxic, and made me feel like a worthless being on this planet. My happiness, my self esteem, and my confidence still isn't present. I'll be honest, I'm actually scared of sex due to my past relationship. I'm scared of intimacy and being too close to someone because that fear of getting hurt.

However, you must look at what you got through. I know you're sad now but think about it, all those experiences and downfalls help us grow as people. Life is rough, tough, and unfair to everyone but it teaches us that no matter what we're capable of over coming things and finding ourselves again.

There's lots of us out there. If you ever want to talk or need some one to rant to, you're more than welcome to send me a message anytime.
I know talking and writing blogs to myself helped me out (and still does) with getting through things and finding my happiness again.

Life gets better. please don't lose hope.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response. Glad their is someone else I can relate to.

[aeblalock]

I have been there. I struggled with depression my entire life (starting with a traumatic event when I was 5 years old - although it didn't seem dramatic at the time).

Depression for me (I found out after years of work) was simply working through my resentments and really looking at the real reasons why I felt resentful of a situation, an institution, or person. Usually my resentments stemmed from fear-based emotions such as envy, insecurity, etc.

Once I figured out the very issues with my character, examining them with great detail, I began to make changes within myself. It was this that fully pulled me out of my depression - for good - no medication... and I haven't dipped back into it for 2 years. :)

[Asker]

Very happy for you. Mine is since pre school a kid was sick in the head, and spit on me. I know my issues, but it's hard to dig out, especially if all I know is negative.

[aeblalock]

Trust me. Take it from someone who's been there (institutionalized 3 times!) - help someone. Anyone. It could be helping an old lady cross the street or smiling at a homeless person. This is the only thing I've found that helped. Taking a look at myself came later when I was strong enough. Helping other people not only gets us out of ourselves for a moment but also makes us feel good for giving back. More importantly, it makes us feel connected with the world when we are having a difficult time in our own heads.

[Asker]

I hate being used for my kindness, and taken for a weakness. Your right helping people does help, but then you come across the assholes that put you down. One day i'll get rid of this depression. Do you do other things, besides help people? Go for walks? Music? Games?

[aeblalock]

Well, when I was depressed I listened to a LOT of melancholy music. Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, etc. Just loved wallowing in my own self pity for how terrible my life was. The music that got me out of it for long periods of time was classical. Listen to Beethoven - he's phenomenal. If you aren't familiar with him other than the stuff we hear in our culture then you need to download Symphony 5, 6, 7, and 9 (the composer I like is Karajan). Play this music while cleaning your room and organizing all of your things. The first thing I was told to do each time I was at the Psychiatric hospital was to go home and just clean everything out. I was told it would help organize my thoughts enough to "take the edge off" of the depression and get me into other states of mind. I am now the cleanest person you'll know because I got in the habit of organizing everything. It's a way to control the things we can control. Man, I sure hope my long-winded answers are helping!

[GoldenHearts]

Hey! I have epilepsy and chronic anxiety & depression. I refuse to take meds anymore due to taking them for years. I too have been cheated on lied to and abused. I never really fell in true love up until my current girlfriend kf 3 years. My best suggestion is to go for walks, enjoy hobbies, do what makes you honestly at peace and happy.

I work on cars for my hobby and that makes me feel better also

[Asker]

Thanks for the inspiration. Glad their are dudes out there like you that understand. Depression sucks.