GUYS OPINION VALUED - I LOST WEIGHT NOW HE'S INTERESTED?

[alllright]

o I've liked this boy since like 8th grade (I'm a senior now) , but in middle school i don't really count it too much. But, I did really like him, we sat together in math and would flirt with each other and stuff. Fast forward to freshman year.
Now, I've always been a big girl, (up until after junior year) but I'll will get to that in a minute. So, freshman year we had history together and we sat together for the first few months of the school year, this is when i really started liking him. I liked him so much because I felt like I could talk to him really easily, he always made me laugh, we had amazing chemistry, we would look into eachothers eyes and and it was like electricity and it felt really nice. it was fun you know? Long story short, he made me feel like he liked me but he said he didn't, found out that I liked him and he asked me if it was true and I told him yes, but he didn't feel the same. After he found out, he moved his seat and we didn't really talk after that. The thing is HE DID FLIRT WITH ME before , others would tell us they could tell we liked eachother. After he rejected me, he started dating this girl and she ended up not liking me so we really didn't talk much here in there but we would always look at eachother. He even had a class with my sister sophmore year and asked her if i ever talked about him - she said no, which was a lie. But this little staring and quick glances game went on all through junior year and in junior year i started to lose weight little by little and then the summer of senior year, i lost almost 70 pounds, I looked COMPLETELY different. And since i got back, he started talking to me again, flirting and everything and even asked me out, and i hate that i still kinda like him but i also think if he didn't want me back then why should he get me now you know? I don't know, i want to give him a chance but I also am still a little resentful of how he rejected me. I don't know what to do. please help

[Dim_121]

Aw how that is a sweet love story. You could make a nice book out of it. From what you described it sounds like he did like you before summer but he was not ready to risk your guys freindship inorder to date you. Also he might not have been emotionally ready to date and did not want to pursue you and loose your freindship. Your both going through a ton of changes inside and mentally. He most likely did like you back them but he wanted you more as a freind.
Now that you have changed and he has changed he wants a relationship with you. He matured and you lost wieght so you both changed and now he wants to date you more than he is scared to loose you as his freind. Times change and so do poeple. The only thing that your weight change did was to probably change his friends minds about you. Instead of them teasing him about you. Now they are rooting for him and pushing him to date you because of the change. What you should do is go for him! You two are already good freinds that know each other fairly well which will make it easier on you two as a couple. Go for him girl. He rejected you for what ever reason now that you two are both older teens he wants you.
Poeple often change their minds about their freinds and how they look at them. The girl that I'm going after when I first met her I freindzoned her hard. Because I wanted her as a freind not as a date. Now that I know her I want to try dating her because of the things that I learned about her and how well we get along. Even in out 20s we changed and latter I changed my mind about her.

[truthbeknown]

Hmmm, yes, I understand how you feel. I know this sucks, but this is cold harsh reality that most guys are not physically attracted to bigger women. Now you have physically changed into someone he is attracted to. Before he was just being honest to himself and you. He wasn't attracted to you before. He can't help what he likes, he can't make himself like something he naturally doesn't. He never lied to you. We all need to be honest to ourselves and never feel selfish or guilty to go after what we want. Its no different to being complete slob and dirty all the time and then changing and being clean and dressing nice. You won't get much attention walking around as a dirty slob, right? I know you feel as if you "weren't good enough" before and this is why you are hesitant. This is a legitimate feeling, but now may be your only chance with this guy and you may lose out.

[bbch25]

I get what you're saying, but a thing I'd have to ask is... While appearance does matter, the fact he flirted with you before and was always looking shows me he was interested always, which makes me think the reason he asked you out now wasn't because he suddenly developed feelings but because he is no longer "ashamed" to be seen with you. And that to me is worse.

If someone isn't attracted to me and then one day decides they are because i change my hair and they hated my red hair (bad example ha), I may not like it but I get that physical interest is important. But if they always liked me but they knew they'd probably get laughed at for being with a red head so they didn't because it would be embarrassing, and then when I changed it they decide it's "safe" now, I'm no longer an embarrassment. That's not good.

I'd ask yourself if it's that he didn't like bigger girls and that's his physical preference, or that he would've been too embarrassed to say he did like you.

But, who you are is great, so you'll find someone that will love you for who you are, and your looks are the bonus, not the premise.

[Azula123]

He didn't feel the same before you lost 70lbs (you go girl! Proud of you!) All of a sudden he's interested? Haha no. If he didn't like you for you then in my opinion he's not worth the time.
You got to realize some guys are natural flirts. I have guy friends who do the same thing as your guy. Also, some people if they know someone they can't help to observe, steal glances at a person. I am one who does this and so are some of my guy friends.
The fact that he's all of a sudden interested (and you look great after losing weight) tells me that he cares about looks.
A friend of mine wheni through this same thing. She went out with him but as soon as some other cute girl came along she was left broken hearted.
I say you can find some one better who's going to like you for you :)

[Ephemera1]

I've had a pretty similar situation, I was fat at the start of freshman year. I got lots of shit for it from the girls in my class, and they pretty much commented about my weight it looks everyday. Lost some weight my second year in highschool and lost all I wanted before the start of junior year. I guess over the summer these changes are more noticeable because at the start of the year I actually had a few girls who gave me shit approach me and attempted to flirt. I wasn't up for that bullshit so I let em know. Your scenario is a little different, you actually knew that guy really well before, and there's nothing wrong with what the guy did. At first he probably didn't find you attractive and how can he start something with someone if he's not attracted to them? He probably thought things would get a little awkward so that's why he became distant. I mean if you still like the dood I say go for it. He was a good friend who just didn't like you in that way at first. He never treated you badly because of your weight and I'm sure he never planned to.

[gmorl478]

It sounds like he is a guy who bases if he likes someone by their looks. If your ok with that go with. But I could be wrong and he likes you for you and is happy that you lost weight. And way to go on losing weight it can't be easy.

[TripleAce]

Hey it is what it is. Appearance has a lot to do with liking someone

would you have liked him the same if he was 70 pounds overweight?

[John_Doesnt]

Most men are like that. It's natural and normal.

[asherholman123]

that's some deep shit

[alllright]

you're telling me...