My therapist says I have a fear of losing weight... and I think she's right. What do I do?

Question

I showed her a picture of what I looked like when I was 16. 4'11 and weighed 95lbs. Now I'm 5'e and weigh 165. I'm trying to get to 145, if not, 150 at the very least. She asked me why not smaller and I told her I don't want to be a stick. But I've been trying to lose weight for well over a year and have only managed to drop 20 pounds.

She thinks I'm struggling because I'm scared I'll look like that honey teenager again that no one liked. She said she's noticed that I keep saying I don't want to be a stick or look like certain celebs like Gigi Hadid and Rihanna because they are too skinny.

I think she's right. But I want to lose weight and be smaller. How do I do that knowing I don't ACTUALLY want to be thin?

TripleAce · Accepted Answer

You want to be thin but you also want to keep your weight because you are afraid you'll lose your assets and being thin (stick thin) is not attractive to you... is what im getting

1. 'Assets' is about shape. Having an extra layer of fat just puts a soft mushy layer of tissue over you. Pound for pound you wanna be functional and fit

2. You won't lose any thing if you drop down to a healthy weight. It would just reveal your true body more. Try not to lean on the fat as a way to shape your body. Shape your body through muscle (which is obviously where the hard work comes in)

3. You drop 20 and go back up again. The first 20 is always very easy to lose and gets exponentially harder as you get closer to your ideal body size. So dropping 20 and gaining it back is your yoyo effect because it just happens quickly - much like how some manage to quit smoking for 4 months but then always seem to relapse. Push your goals further for your identification. Maybe 4 can help with that because I think you have it a little backwards

4. Rihanna has a very desirable body. Im not sure where you get the idea that no one likes that. It's probably what people tend to like the most. Thin slim girls

Levin · Accepted Answer

What's your height now?

Presumably, consciously, I'm sure you realise some kind of balance is best. The problem is, subconsciously, losing weight has certain associations to past unpleasant experiences, painful memories and emotions. So I think part of this, will be acknowledging and letting go of the pain that you felt in the past, the nasty things people said. The other thing is, writing down how you feel about being thin, particularly when your emotions are flaring up. If you can look at those words in the light of day, you can also consider how realistic those perceptions are, what grounding they have in objective reality.

BellePepper · Accepted Answer

I honestly think that you should focus on getting to your first goal and then go from there. If you don't want to lose more you don't have to.

writing_essays · Accepted Answer

Eat a diet that is 80% rice and 20% protein and vegetables. You will be very thin without any effort, sacrifice or cost.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

20 lbs in a year is not bad progress, especially for your stats. You don't have to be one of the fitness freaks who do absolutely everything right to achieve optimal fat loss in the shortest amount of time possible.

there is a right plan for you.

you know the cool thing about weight loss? You don't have to worry about becoming a stick because as soon as you like what you see in the mirror... you can STOP losing and begin maintaining.

if you don't wanna be too skinny then you don't have to be. it's your choice. being "too skinny" is not guaranteed to happen just because you're attempting to lose more weight. stop when you are happy with the balance you've struck.

if you can't find a happy median with your body, it's probably because your definition of happy isn't ideal.

lightbulb27 · Answer

she may be right.
* Read Change your life in 7 days and apply some of those techniques to lessen the impact of that childhood wound.
* Then set some goals... not really to lose weight, but to achieve something... like you are gonna climb a mountain, 60 mile bike ride, run a race, mud race, etc.. That will motivate you to exercise. Make it a vacation when you do it so it is added fun!
* Get on a diet that is healthy
* Fast every now and then, like skip breakfast and lunch once a week...(with Dr. s support of course). It shouldn't kill you, but Idon't know you personally so do what is right for you.

That ought to do it! A lot of issues are mental. you are protecting a wound, sounds like a smart Dr.

MementoMori_ · Answer

I once heard a theory that a girl may be hesitant to lose weight because she is afraid that men will be attracted to her and she has a fear of intimacy. She is afraid that losing weight will lead to a situation that someone becomes interested in her for something beyond a superficial relationship. Makes sense to me. It may be just the opposite of what your therapist said... not that you are afraid of being someone no one will like, but someone that someone might be seriously attracted to.. forcing you to have to deal with intimate feelings... feelings you may be afraid of.

Octavius · Answer

Try not looking at the scale. Honestly, the number is completely arbitrary because weight makes everyone look different and it means different levels of health for everyone. By virtually every standard I should be a fat fuck because I'm like just under 200lbs at but I'm actually at my healthiest. If I stopped exercising and eating healthy I'd drop down to the 170s.

Just focus on eating right and healthy for awhile without worrying about whatever number is on the scale because of it. My philosophy is whatever the number is after an extended period of eating right and exercise is the number you are meant to have.

yulbsari · Answer

You are seeing a trained professional. I would be worried about asking strangers on the internet about what you should do. I have no idea. If you don't like this therapist, you should probably look for another to give professional advice as to what to do next.

ksoma · Answer

i think you're terrified of falling into anorexia. You want to lose weight, but you're afraid that if you lose more than just a bit, you'll fall into a hole where it is never enough.

capturemyheartnow · Answer

5'e could be 5'3.. Try to lose weight and stabilize at a point which you think is appropriate for you. You don't need to fear about anything. You are mature enough now and psychologically aware of what things will keep you happy.

Pac-Man · Answer

You really need a new therapist xD Just lose weight until you're happy with your body and you no longer feel neither overweight nor underweight.

Prof_Don · Answer

I say make the focus on health, instead of "weight loss". With that mentality, I feel you'll follow through with your regimen change.

Kachatterjee · Answer

Quite risky. You might get blown up in windy atmosphere.

Stevan7 · Answer

Elarra you can do it without thinking about it. Just hit cardio and think about it in healthy terms, not i'm getting leaner.

chrisbigman · Answer

Then start hitting the gym or go out for a walk/run. Start eating healthier.

Waffles731 · Answer

Hm. So you've realized it and I guess thats the first step but I really don't know where I'd go from there

TheOldMan59 · Answer

20 pounds in a year is amazing. What does your therapist want, blood?

peachblossomluck · Answer

Maybe being too small makes you feel vulnerable?

Adigelunar · Answer

keep seeing the therapist

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

I would cook and eat your analyst

Thrifty · Answer

Drink more water

My therapist says I have a fear of losing weight... and I think she's right. What do I do?

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Is it weird that I'm afraid to lose all the weight?

My therapist says I have a fear of losing weight... and I think she's right. What do I do?

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Is it weird that I'm afraid to lose all the weight?

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