How do you stop wanting to be with someone when your mental state isn’t good?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been struggling with this for a very long time. I know full well my mental state isn’t the best but there’ll be times where I want to be with someone. I always end up feeling bad for having those feelings so I try to get rid of them.

[AmeerX]

Sasha stop being cruel to yourself. You're not ill. You are just afraid of commitment to someone. I want to tell you that it's alright to be afraid.

You are letting irrational scenarios ruin your chances of marriage.

And you are not ugly. Stop degrading yourself all the time.

[Asker]

Why do you keep assuming I want marriage?

[AmeerX]

Okay, what exactly do you want?

[Asker]

I don’t want anything.

[AmeerX]

You want to be with someone as your question said it.
Realize it's not a bad thing to have some companionship:). We are social animals and we need someone to talk to, be silly with, share sorrows and happiness

[Asker]

I didn’t say I want to be with someone. I was asking how to stop feeling that way.

[AmeerX]

Stop trying to fight it. I actually did something like you did and I feel damaged inside too.

The more you try to fight this feeling the more stronger it will bounce back. Let it flow. Don't let it bottle you in

[Asker]

I’ve been doing this for 30 years so 🤷‍♀️

[AmeerX]

That's why you are feeling like this. Accept that being with someone is normal. It happens

[Asker]

It doesn’t feel normal to me.

[AmeerX]

Hey, I know it's alright. Do you have your parents or siblings? At least open up to them about it. May be someone close to you. He or she will help you :). Or you can talk to one of us here.

[Asker]

Yeah, I have family. But, I don’t talk to them about this kind of stuff because they already know where I stand.

[Anonymous]

You dont need to stop wanting to be with someone, you just need to want something even more. Which for you, should be wanting to be in a better mental state. Just focus on that. When you get there, you can give yourself a chance to be with someone. Its natural to wanna be with someone, dont force yourself not to feel it, or else you’re gonna want it even more. Just let it be, but focus on something else more important at the moment.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Through hobbies and staying busy. What are your hobbies

[Asker]

I don’t have much hobbies. But, I play video games or do cross stitching.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

What kind of video games? You can also find a new hobby. Try new things

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you long for someone to fix you while recognising that no-one can - you need to do this for yourself.

[Asker]

That’s why I refuse to step in a relationship.

[AmeerX]

She is becoming self defeatist. Sasha, you need to stop being afraid of being in friendships and relationships

[In_Trance]

One post you say you don't want to be with anyone, and now this? WTH

[Asker]

I still don’t. I’m just looking for ways to get rid of these feelings where they never come back. I don’t want these type of feelings.

[In_Trance]

Therapy

[Asker]

Therapy isn’t going to permanently remove this feelings.

[Asker]

*these

[In_Trance]

That's a fallacy

[Asker]

Ok, what kind of therapy?

[In_Trance]

I take it you've never been to therapy before

[Asker]

I have not.

[In_Trance]

Then it's completely out of line for you to assume that those feelings will never change. Therapy is a thing and it's a thing for a reason. It's not the kind of therapy you need it's finding the right therapist and that's what you need to focus on

[TJ1892]

Through adoping other interests, hobbies, find other things to fill the void

[Bklynbadboy12]

Don't feel bad cause it's normal to want to be with someone but you have to work on yourself first