What should you do when you’re not mentally ready for a relationship?

[Anonymous]

What would you do?

Updates

1 y

I’m far from being mentally ready. As of right now, I’m at peace being single and I want to keep going that way.

[Anonymous]

drink milk https://tenor.com/tr/view/drink-water-water-funny-babay-drinking-water-baby-drinking-gif-11718841717841191653

[Opinion Owner]

thank youu dear

[TommyMountainFigure]

I've never really understood the 'mentally ready' or 'not' as far as relationships go, being that single was no easier for me, than being with someone.

Each to their own though.. You do what you want/ have to do.

[Asker]

That’s because you believe everyone is the same mentally when it comes to relationships. Which is not the case.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Everyone I've been in a relationship with though have all been mentally stable. So have I been fortunate? Or am I just very good at putting people I'm in a relationship with very much at ease?

[Asker]

You do realize not everyone on Earth is the same, right?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm not doubting you have the mental issues you say you have. I was just curious as to whether some people are simply better at hiding them than others.

[sheikalana]

I would not get in a relationship until I’m mentally ready. In the meantime I would do my research and try to understand why I’m not ready and work on myself.

[Anonymous]

If you don't wanna be in a relationship, then don't be in a relationship.. It's as simple as that.. The same repetitive questions over and over

[Asker]

Then block me 🤷‍♀️ Simple as that.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm gonna what I want; you don't get to tell me what to do

[AI Opinion]

Oh, diving into the deep end without knowing how to swim? I've been there, and let me tell you, it's all about taking a step back and embracing the solo journey first. If I wasn't ready for a relationship, I'd focus on self-love and understanding my own needs and desires. It's like dating yourself; you get to discover what truly makes you tick. I'd also recommend engaging in activities that boost self-confidence and personal growth. Think of it as fine-tuning your instrument before playing a duet. And when it comes to communication, being honest with yourself and potential partners about where you're at is key. It's like saying, "Hold on, let me catch my breath before we dance." By doing so, you're setting the stage for a healthier future relationship, one step at a time. 🕺💃

[serious]

Simple. Don't get into a relationship until you are mentally ready.

As for me, I have always been single and I wish to single for life so that answers your question

[Asker]

I don’t think I’ll ever be mentally ready.

[serious]

@Peridot25

Well then be single for life. Simple.

[Asker]

How do I keep guys from being interested in me and keeping them from asking me out?

[serious]

@Peridot25

"How do I keep guys from being interested in me and keeping them from asking me out?"

No, you cannot do that. It is impossible. Just remember you cannot control the actions of others. You can only control your own actions, the way you do things. Your communication and the decisions you take etc.

If you purposely try to keep guys from being interested then you will end up wasting your time and energy on the same. Plus there are high chances that you will turn into a rude and mean person even if you are not that way today.

Are you getting the point?

[serious]

@Peridot25

Hence the best thing you can do is just be cool, be confident, be relaxed and concentrate on your career, financial independence and do things you love to do. Just keep refusing all the proposals and just refuse to reciprocate and take things forward even if men try to make their move on you.

This will be far more effective and will consume less time and energy on your part.

Nothing will happen if you don't want that to happen. It is your life and you are in control of that. Nobody can do anything unless your consent is there.

[Asker]

What if I have times where I get yearnings to find someone? How do I get rid of those feelings?

[Asker]

That happens to me a lot and it’s quite annoying. I’ve been suppressing them and they’re only gone for a short while.

[Asker]

I need those yearnings to be gone permanently.

[serious]

@Peridot25

Well what you mentioned in your question subject and your recent replies is contradicting what you are saying in your latest replies.

[serious]

@Peridot25

First you sounded confident about you never being mentally ready for love/romance/relationships but then you mention about you getting the yearnings from time to time for the same?

That contradicts your thinking, your wish to be single in many ways.

[serious]

@Peridot25

That signifies that you are still not 100% sure. It seems you are still in some sort of dilemma.

[serious]

@Peridot25

"What if I have times where I get yearnings to find someone? How do I get rid of those feelings?"

Well, those are your feelings, it is in your mind. Only you can take complete control of your feelings if you want. Otherwise you will forever remain in two minds (dilemma) as to what you actually want as far as love/relationships/romance are concerned.

There is one way to get rid of your feelings is to think and act logically. Think of it logically in terms of love, relationships as to do you really need them or not?

I mean think of it from a future perspective? Like think hypothetically yet logically like if you happen to be in a romantic relationship do you see that relationship long lasting given the kind of person you are? Do you see a long future in that or not?

If you are not sure about these answers then your answer should be NO. Which means you are not a person who is suited for love and romance.

You have to understand that love, romance sounds easy on paper. Yes they are beautiful but they also come with their own set of risks and complexities as well.

Do you understand what I am saying here? If it is not clear then ask me.

[serious]

"That happens to me a lot and it’s quite annoying. I’ve been suppressing them and they’re only gone for a short while."

Well they are happening to you because you are allowing your feelings, emotions, sentiments to take control over you and cloud your judgement and thought process.

That is exactly the problem with emotions and feelings. They will cloud your judgement and thought process and many times they will create illusions in you, they will make you believe in things that you know are not true. They will make you do things which you know are not right but you will still end up doing that because of so called hope.

Hence you are the one who needs to think logically and control your feelings, your yearnings.

[serious]

@Peridot25

"I need those yearnings to be gone permanently"

As I mentioned only you can get rid of such feelings permanently. You have to find a way to make that happen.

Yes you can also take professional help, like a therapist, counsellor or a relationship expert. People who are certified to deal with these things. Even if they tell you the methods to get rid of what your yearnings are, you are the one who has to implement that method and make it happen.

Eventually it is up to you, either you find your own way or take help and follow their method but you have to do it yourself.

[serious]

@Peridot25

I think this answers all your questions

[Asker]

It does

[Flatmanlewis]

You wait until you are ready OR you decide you won’t be any time soon. Either way, I’d go on living life.

[Asker]

What if you’ll never be ready?

[Flatmanlewis]

Then that’s the life you can choose for yourself. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be self-actualized and happy.

[ChiTown33]

Work on yourself.

Self improvement and reflection is always a beneficial thing. So long as you do it positively. Build your self up, do not tear yourself down. You're complete by yourself. A partner should only ever ADD to that.

[Fireguy17]

just not enter into a relationship.
Wait until the time is correct, and it is the right person.
You will know when the time is right.

[Asker]

I’m actually at peace being single. I don’t really see myself being with someone.

[Fireguy17]

there is nothing wrong with that at all.
I was married young, it didn't work out, she was doinking the landlord who was also married, but for some strange reason not for much longer, so after I recovered from that I stayed single for a long long time by choice.
I had my freedom to come and go, traveled all over the US & Mexico by motorcycle, just had fun.
I call it my second childhood.
So as long as you are happy don't worry what others think.

[DrPepper12]

Have lots of nsa ons or friends with benefits on standby. Talk in out with therapist. Throw myself into work or fitness.

[Asker]

What does your therapist advise?

[DrPepper12]

Having that problem with a family member now. They NEED to go but REFUSE. IT'S KIND OF LIKE DEALING WITH AN ADDICT, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO QUIT UNTIL THEY'RE READY AND SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO GO UNTIL THEY'RE READY.

[DrPepper12]

All caps mistake! Sorry

[LiamJHayden]

Make friends and hand out with them. Or take up a hobby.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I don’t go out as much and when I do I make myself as unapproachable as possible lol

[Lynx122]

You stay single

[FreyaRed]

I don't look for food when I'm not hungry

[slatyb]

Not enter a relationship.

[LaurenM1997]

Work on myself and my confidence

[FunkyMonkee]

I don't bother buying one.

[paledreams]

I've stayed single and will keep on :)

[SotiCoto]

Not have a relationship.

[woahhh152]

Don't be in a relationship

[impalabill77]

Don't get into one. Or break off the one you got.

[HelpfulWoman]

stay single. duh