How can I manage mental health?

[Anonymous]

it really sucks having a hard time functioning like a regular person in society and it's all because my brain is very much not programming like it's supposed to. since im of age now, i now have to pay for therapy and it really sucks. anything medical related costs so much that id rather go without help than to ask for it. therapy is all I've ever known since a child and now that i HAVE to be off it, i don't know what to do other than to be my own therapist.

i wish i wasn't stuck in my head all the time. i want to be able to go out into society without mentally preparing myself to even leave the door. i want to be able to sit still without fidgeting or dissociating. i want to be able to do my work for school without getting overwhelmed easily, without having to focus on irrelevant things thst don't matter to the assignment but do matter to me. i don't feel normal, i feel so out of place. now i have to pay just to get help. ill have to do things on my own for a long while and im hoping I can do it. the one thing that distracted me entirely was helping other's with their own burdens— only because i didn't have to focus on my burden. it was easier that way but very unhealthy.

any tips on managing mental health would be really appreciated.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Some excercises and good hobbies can help. You may just be an HSP (hypersensitive person) who gets emotionally drained quickly. Unfortunately that is hardwired in you but that can be a strength if used properly. You need to just be you. Do what makes you happy and focus on how you want your life to be. Of course there are obstacles but you can overcome those If you have goals big enough that makes you want it so badly that you'll have to improve yourself to achieve it. There are people who'd judge no matter what you do, you dont have to listen to them. Love yourself and be your own best friend. There will always be people like you who'd be with you. Remember friends are quality over quantity and you yourself is your quality friend.

[Asker]

how sweet, thank you. being my own friend seems like such a hard thought for some reason. i never fully sit down and think about myself in that way. i should start to do that and be kinder to myself.

HSP? I don't think anyone has ever referred to me that way, but I do get drained quickly. I'll look into it more. I have noticed that coffee helps me sleep while energy drinks keep me up and focused because normally I get distracted or dissociate.

I'll do my best to find alternatives since now I'm without therapy.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You're not alone tho. www.youtube.com/watch

"I have noticed that coffee helps me sleep while energy drinks keep me up and focused because normally I get distracted or dissociate." <-- I don't recommend you having to just rely on something unnatural to keep you awake. If there are things that work for you, I don't mean to spoil yourself with something that can actually harm you. Coffee is fine but I don't think energy drinks are. There are plenty of alternatives you can do but to know yourself better, you need to be friends with yourself, explore and make some calculated risks until you'll find what's best for you. You're still 19 you have plenty of time to learn from mistakes.

[Asker]

Yeah, that's true. I'm still 19 so I have a long way to go still. I tend to think on the bad things and wonder how long is too long to keep figuring things out? But then I remember that treating myself good will never be linear and that baby steps matter.

i used to watch psych2go < 3, I should again because I've been lacking. And yes, energy drinks aren't fine at all. I just tend to do better with them. I have insomnia so coffee does help for sleep, but I'll try different teas since I don't want to rely on caffeine for everything.

Thank you for your input, I know it's gonna take a while to get the hang of it all but im sure ill be able to do it.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

*Hugs* Good luck!

[Asker]

thank you! *hugs*

[boggboss]

Stop thinking and focusing on what u whish was happening and work within thr tools u have understand helping others is fine but all u are doing is delaying your own issues did your therapists not give u tools to help prep u to try and integrate

[Asker]

i know, it's why i said it was unhealthy to dismiss my issues just to help others. my therapists have given me tools to integrate into the real world. it just feels like being a child with all these tools in my hands that i can't carry on my own, looking out into the distance to see everyone my age thriving with no tools in hand.

what i mean to say is, i have tools. but i worry a little too much over how to use these tools, when to use them, and which ones to use. im sure ill be fine, im just worried about when i need help the most

[bededazzle]

unfortunately, i think it all starts with acceptance. acceptance of the way things are as opposed to what we want.

[Asker]

yeah, i get that. it truly sucks but there's nothing i can do except just use what i currently have and live with it.

[bededazzle]

that’s not quite what i mean. true, it is difficult to ever fully escape mental illness, but you can definitely develop skills and improve your life, although i am concerned with your lack of professional help. many therapists work on a sliding scale. i just mean it begins with acceptance. then you can build from there.

[bededazzle]

me for example—i have had to lower some of my expectations about my life. sometimes i have terrible episodes and can barely function, but i also know the ebb and flow of depression and can basically live with it. at least for now. doesn’t sound great, right? well, i am in a depressive episode right now. but in a month, i may see things differently and be able to advance my goals again.

[Asker]

im glad you know yourself. i hope you'll feel a lot better after your episode ends. i have had MDD for a very long time since i was a child and had taken medication too. i have a few other disorders currently that are pretty much battling in my head. i don't take medicine anymore, i stopped fully a year or two ago, but it's so draining being me. i have skills i learned in therapy. im just afraid now that i have to face the reality of life and i believe that's normal. honestly, it feels like being a child holding their guardian's hand to be sent off to their very first day of school ever. so nerve-wracking, scary, distressing, not knowing how it will go. all i can tell myself is that i will make it through every day.

sorry for the rant, im just genuinely overthinking and going through it.

[bededazzle]

it's all right. at least you can get it out here if you can't see a therapist at the time, although I personally would recommend going to a different forum that specializes in mental health to get the best feedback, such as mental health forums. getting proper care can be very expensive. this aspect of your issue, i don't know how to fix, but go to another forum for advice. there could be alternatives. medication could help you. i wish i had more suggestions for resources but i don't. well, some hospitals have counselors in training. that could be an option. for the record, I think I have personally learned that there is no self to know :) It's not really good or bad though. please push yourself to figure out how to get help. At least remember the basic step of cognitive therapy: thought revision. "I am stuck like this forever," vs. "I am stuck in a bad place now and need to figure out how to get help". Sorry if this is in adequate.

[Asker]

no it's okay, thank you for your input. i have done cognitive therapy and it has always been hard because i never could stay hopeful in my mind. it usually stays neutral, but i need to at least rework my thinking process. especially when im drained too. i will try to search for any place that is cheap for actual help in case i ever land in an awful spot and can't recover on my own. im glad i can at least call for help and not isolate anymore so that's a huge step for me.

[bededazzle]

ok well that's good. i wonder if you would benefit more from a support group. in this setting, you can help others, which could make you feel better too. ok well as long as you can take care of yourself. there may be ways to reduce the suffering though. but trust that you are capable of working t out. be well.

[Asker]

thank you so much for this < 3 ill be remembering what you said and try my best to integrate what I've been told so far.

[RavVid]

Have you been diagnosed with any illness? What is the most important issue to you? Better to focus on one issue and work on it.

[Asker]

i have been diagnosed with several illnesses throughout my existence. This might be vague, but my most important issue to me is to just be able to manage my mental health better when it deteriorates the most.

[RavVid]

OK. But bear in mind that what helps one person does not help all. That is too a very strong degree. Talking does not help men but does help women. So most pysch's are not suitable for men as they do talk therapy. This goes right back to the origins under Freud.

If you have been prescribed medication please do conform to the regime - I have seen very bad consequences to people fail to do so. What I am suggesting is to do things on top of any medication regime. I have found havening helpful to myself and I know it has helped women. Google that word.

I do things to make myself feel better one of which is not talking about it and to actively stop thinking about it but because guys and gals are different I am reluctant to suggest that.

[Asker]

That's understandable. I'll look into Havening, it's actually something I haven't heard of until now. I don't want to get back on meds. I fear that, being a long term user since I was a child, maybe the chemicals did something to my brain while it was developing. I can't say for sure, but yeah. Different things work for different people.

I try not to think about it until it ends up overwhelming me. It's almost as if the thought comes back stronger.

[RavVid]

Havening worked for me and worked for a girl I know so hope it can help you too. I both our cases it was memories and the thoughts they caused.

[Iron_Man]

Try to think positive and get some counseling

[Asker]

i do try, but I get a lot of intrusive thoughts that i often don't know how to shoo them away. counseling is expensive now but i will try to find a cheaper way to get help

[Iron_Man]

They have clinics try that

[Asker]

i know but without insurance, i literally have to pay just to get help : ( ill manage without it just as how i managed without medication. thank you though

[Iron_Man]

What about your parents? They have clinics out there you can get counseling for free basically

[Asker]

we're struggling financially too. since my mom is mexican and my stepdad, i forgot where he's from, they both came in illegally to americs. they dont have what legal people have and that's papers. im also over 18 now so it's my job to pay for therapy and taxes now. counseling isn't really free and it takes time to find someone who you think is helpful. but i should be able to figure out myself since I've been in therapy for years

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry to hear that but if you really need therapy, you have to get it many clinics out there are basically free check into it and try to be positive and check into things

[Asker]

i will try to scout, even if it means getting help from an app. thank you, ill try to be more positive or at least try to be determined to see help on my own

[Iron_Man]

Great 👍 I hope you do well and everything works out for you and your family

[Worst]

Be my boyfriend

[Asker]

yeah id be a good boyfriend

[Worst]

I agree

For real though, i struggle with the same things that you do

[Asker]

have you found a way to manage yourself? or do you just wing it and hope it works out lmao

[Worst]

I haven't found anything the years I've felt this way, but I can't say I've been trying that hard. I have almost no desire to do anything most days, besides the shit I have to do. I mostly just try to distract myself from how I actually feel, which is effective short term. So yeah lol I just wing it

[Asker]

: ( it really be like that. i tend to wing it too and say "fuck it ig" because sometimes it feels too draining to even try a different method. ill get where i want to be one day, baby steps matter but most people around me force me to take adult steps instead 💔 we can wing it together and hope we come out of it alive lol

[Worst]

Yes, and that's why I tell no one in my life; they do not understand the struggle. So you're my boyfriend now right lol

[Asker]

im here to listen now, us mentally deranged people stick together 🤝 and yeah i guess i am your boyfriend now lmao

[Worst]

My depression has been cured

[Asker]

hell yeah im ghost's boyfriend now (i think that's ghost lol)

[Worst]

Yeah lol I'm ghost, and you appear to be in prison

[Asker]

wtf!!! ill take a nap in prison then. zzz

[Worst]

My first mission is to break you out

[Asker]

did you succeed? i kind of fell asleep (irl) because the prison beds were soft