I think my mom has an intellectual/ learning disability, is it normal to hold it against her?

[SneakyPapaya]

I haven't spoken with my mom's side of the family in 4 years. Mostly because I can't stand my mom. She is nice enough, but living with her was intolerable. She would wake me at 3am to dishes, come poop in the toilet while I'm showering, never knock when entering, pretend my depression and PCOS didn't exist when i needed medical treatment, take money from me, etc. Like not particularly manipulative in her way I think it genuinely comes from a place of stupidity.

Like an intellectual dissability. I used to try talking to her why these things were wrong and she just can't understand and would smile and move on. And to re-iterate it's not in a gas-lighty way, but almost a "I don't understand so we'll just move on." Like she did things that just weren't appropriate, but many would describe her as being a kind lady. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it and wanted the internet hot take, please and thank you

[Iron_Man]

What proof do you have of that and of course not you hold nothing against your own mother you always built her up and praise her

[SneakyPapaya]

I don't have any proof. But a lot of her actions like the theft, lack of awareness, and ignorance when I had medical emergencies never came off as malicious. She's not a manipulative person. Like I genuinely think her head is empty and she doesn't understand the gravity of the things she does or why they don't make sense. Like she just doesn't think. And I'm not saying it to name call, I think it almost comes from a place of concern, but most likely curiosity. I just hold to much disgust for the ways she's messed up my life to call it concern

[Iron_Man]

criminal crimes or different different ballgame she needs to get professional help on her behavior