Why do guys rag on a girl for eating healthy if they still want a girl to look fit and fabulous?

[DishLady]

Calling out anyone who insist on two contradicting concepts:

1. that a girl with "a healthy appetite" is appealing...

2. that a girl should be fit, curvy and "hot" ...

The reality is, women don't burn calories or fat very quickly due to a variety of factors. Even the most physically active women can't maintain their standard healthy weight if they're indulging in that burger and fries or that extra drink on the regular...

So next time your girl reaches for the healthy smoothie mix, orders a salad or chokes down an f-ing unsalted rice cake (which YES, are terrible and NO don't really taste just like popcorn), show a little appreciation that her figure is still slamming because she's got some self control.

QUESTIONS: Ok, ok, so...

• GIRLS: Have you been with a guy who keeps pressuring you to eat more when you're worried about your fitness and figure?
• GUYS: Have you either actively or passively indicated to your girl that you'd rather see her eat more... maybe pig out with you... but also still wanted her to look hot and sexy?

Updates

+1 y

To clarify, since some folks seem confused by the question:

A lot of my guy friends will set up a group lunch, for example, and they know I'll usually get something healthy on the menu (low sodium, low fat, blah... blah... blah).

The 2 older guys get and respect it bc they also watch what they eat for health reasons, but the rest of the guys will start venting that their girlfriend/so is also a "salad girl"/"health nut" and that they wish their girl "would eat real food" ...

[HawkPerception]

As a guy that has mostly just wanted to gain some weight in my life, I haven't been particularly worried about what I eat other than the fact that I try to stay away from sugars that don't come from fruit in their natural form.

But honestly if a girl is not my partner, I don't recommend any kind of diet to any her, unless she specifically comes to for diet advice, which is rare. They can eat whatever they want. If they want to be fat, by all means, eat the whole world.

But when it's my partner, I do tend to encourage them to eat healthier. I hated that my ex was gaining weight consistently and she avoided veggies like the plague, while indulging in a lot of cheesy, meaty foods. Obviously she's going to gain weight like that, with the lack of physical activity she has.

Weight loss and weight gain is literally just about having a caloric deficit or surplus in your diet based on how much physical activity you have and how many calories you burn.

I think the reason guys say to "Eat" is because nowadays we don't want to be seen as toxic and controlling, trying to push girls to have a certain figure as if it's our business.

Body positivity has really weaved it's way into societal norms.

[HawkPerception]

Thanks for clarifying. I think guys do that in a way to let others know "I'm not a toxic partner. I want my partner to eat what they want when they want and not eat like a rabbit." It's kind of a way of them flexing being a good guy.

I personally will always respect women that watch what they eat and exercise often.

[DishLady]

Yeah, agreed. I mean... I don't support extreme diet or extreme overeating either way bc neither of those is healthy, but when a guy starts saying "I like a girl who can eat" but then also complains "she's too fat" and chases very slender girls down all the time... he seems confused and clueless about that massive contradiction.

[Phoenix98]

1. that a girl with "a healthy appetite" is appealing...

2. that a girl should be fit, curvy and "hot" ...

Anyone who's actually seriously worked out and is involved in the fitness world knows those two things are not contradictory. Gaining muscle/losing weight, eating a lot of food and having a healthy intake of it all go hand in hand. Something I used to make sure my clients knew.

One of the most attractive women I ever saw in person was one of the most cut women I have ever seen had washboard abs and was incredibly strong for how feminine she looked and was a very curvy and attractive woman.. guess what she also ate like horse to.

The difference is she ate healthy lots of fish, chicken, meat cooked in a healthy way, vegetables, fruits, grains she had a very balanced diet that did not consist of a lot if any unhealthy foods. But one thing you have to keep in mind also is that the things we're told are bad for us are also things our bodies actually require in small amounts in order to function such as fat and salt.

The reality is, women don't burn calories or fat very quickly due to a variety of factors.

There's really only really one main factor for that and it's that men do not have inherently faster metabolism then women do. Men just typically burn more calories easier because we inherently have less fat and more muscle we also tend to work more physically demanding jobs on average. Whereas women have naturally less muscle and more fat and are more likely to be at a sedentary job in a office or a school something like that not throwing 50lb bags in a warehouse or working construction stuff like that.

[DishLady]

I think you’ve missed the point. We’re not talking about someone who needs to bulk up for some athletic team…

The average woman … even if she works out … still has to watch her intake of certain foods, and it gets more intensified as she gets older.

For instance, I was a student athlete a million years ago and basically ate a balance diet with the occasional junk food, but coach would warn that we’d get sluggish if we consumed too many of X, Y and Z while we were competing…. (So even then we were on a regimented diet and we DID have to meet athletic criterion.) NOW, decades later, calorie intake needs to be reduced even though I work out daily and am extremely active.

And it’s the same with most women. You can Google it and read the research if you like.

[SugarSugarplum]

I think guys have this fantasy of a girl who can eat that fat cheeseburger and then beat them in a beer drinking contest.

Then when they order the wings and nachos and extra large enchilada plate, and you order the house salad with a lemon wedge instead of dressing, it kinda lets the air out of them.

[Jersey2]

We want her to have fun too. We just don’t see the direct connection as our young male body has a higher metabolism and we can shed weight quickly with little effort.

[SugarSugarplum]

@Jersey2 Women have a slower metabolism than you, and are - in general - smaller. If we took in that 3600 calorie burger plate and 2 beers with you a couple times a week, we'd be a ball.

[Jersey2]

True, I forgot about the size difference. I am 6 feet and 220lbs, I don’t recommend trying to keep up.

[alice55]

In France they do the reverse they pressure women not to eat healthy portion cause if not she would become a fat cow to them. Only some younger guys would say nothing and encourage to eat cause they prefer curvier figure but most shame women if they eat more than a salad.

[DishLady]

Yes, precisely.

[IslaTheWitch]

men in my circle are respectful and don't discuss my choices as I don't discuss their... we order and eat what we want or like...

[TommyMountainFigure]

What you describe above is the PERFECT explanation of a paradox, and you are SO right.

You see parents do it to kids from a very early age. 'Eat up everything or you don't leave the table,' or the guilt trip one 'children are starving all over the world' and then when they grow up you'll hear, 'stop eating so much you're looking overweight.'

I am truly lucky that my parents taught me to eat healthy as a child, and I have done so without ever having a liking for sweets or chocolate.

Oh but I will pick you up on one thing. As for specifically blaming this on guys, it's the mother who predominantly does this to her kids more than the father, so whilst guys may have this problem with their girlfriends at the adult stage, when you delve DEEP you see where this problem TRULY begins.

[Dongie]

I'm innocent of all that. I did mention that if my friend lost a few pounds she would be a 10. I heard about that for 3 months. She asked if I would walk with her. Yes, of course. Love to spend that much more time with her. I've asked her twice when we were going to start walking. She snapped when I get ready to go on a diet. And laughed. Why take what I said as insulting? We are friends as she firmly pointed out the other day.

When I say a 10, I'm not exaggerating. The prettiest, smoky eyes I have seen and very pretty face and features. About 5' 4". She showed me a picture of herself from about 10 years ago. She could be beautiful if she wanted to be.

[DishLady]

Well yes, but it takes a hack of a lot of work for a girl to shake off even 10lbs. And as we get older we have to be mindful of calorie intake vis-a-vis our ability to maintain a reasonable range of movement/activity.

[Dongie]

I'm 11 days shy of 20 years older than her. We are just friends. But wires got crossed a few weeks ago. I'll take the blame, although... I think she was kind of pondering it. I don't know why with the age difference. But it had me thinking. And I stepped over the stinking line. But we are cool. She's kinda bossy. In fact, that's her handle on some shit, Miss Bossy.

[Dongie]

She is always moving. Takes care of all the bills at her parents' babysits a few days a week for 2 grandkids. Spoils her 25 year old daughter has another 20 both at home. I bet her entrepreneur skills bring in 12 or more k per month.

[DishLady]

Aww... sweet. Sounds like it's high time you uncrossed those wires, buddy... ;)

[Dongie]

I did. Had too. She's like a best friend. Well she is a best friend. I'm old white dude she's pretty Mexican 41. Be 42 on the 30th. Sassy girl.

[DishLady]

I don't think the racial thing has much to do with whether you're good people... Take her out for her special day... bridge the gap.

[Dongie]

Yeah, but there are things you don't know. She gets crossed. The last jerk was abusive. Now she is turned off to men. He's in prison. She told me her count was over 200, not counting girls. She is so grounded, tho. Said she was wild. I told her what I thought. I said she's hot. We argue, but it's like a game with us. She strictly said friends, that's all. I never thought otherwise. But little things she was doing made me think, is she saying this. Tied me up.

[Dongie]

I love Mexican girls. Told her so.

[Kaneki05]

That's easy.
I eat pizza and trash all the time yet skinny, so I would like someone the same therefore we can both enjoy been unhealthy together while cuddling and watching a film.

[DishLady]

Guys burn the fatty stuff way more easily than girls do, though...

[Kaneki05]

Oh sure there is biological differences but still don't really change the fact of what I want in a relationship.
And I've for sure been around girls who eat like me well even more than me and are somehow not putting on weight, I know a couple did go to the gym but I know some that for sure didn't.

Myself I don't really eat normally, just one meal a day and maybe a snack, then there a girls who eat breakfast, lunch and dinner along with snacks yet are still skinny though I am sure their calorie intake was worse than mine.

In my opinion it's all about fasting but if someone can do it without that, that's great.

[Danny_dan92]

I’m exclusively attracted to women that eat healthy and take care of their health. Workout and all that.




Reason being, is because if a woman takes care of herself. If that’s part of her lifestyle, I feel confident that she will be around for as long as possible so not only I have her by my side. But if we happen to have kids, their kids don’t lose their mother too early.

[ProbablyClueless]

Do guys criticize women for that? It might just be the kind of thing that the guy is just say she can relax a little from time to time.

[DishLady]

So here's the thing... and I'll post this as an update as well: A lot of my guy friends will set up a group lunch or whatever and they know I'll usually get something healthy on the menu (low sodium, low fat, blah blah blah). And the older guys get that bc they're also watching what they eat for health reasons, but the guys a tad younger will complain that their girlfriend/so is also "a salad girl" or "a health nut" and that they wish their girl "would eat real food" (meaning polish off a massive bowl of pasta, half a pizza, a Costco-size Doritos, etc. etc. etc.). One always complains that he'll order a burger deluxe (with the fries, etc.) and his girl will steal ONE fry off his plate but then have her salad...

We're all basically just trying to stay fit and healthy, though, so while it's perhaps ok to mention it once in passing -- or for the girl to splurge on junk food once in a blue moon -- there are guys who are really annoyed about it, which then makes the girls either give in to their man's whining or hold her ground (which often tends to be less likely).

[ProbablyClueless]

I think that's just a human thing. People always have a problem with whatever someone else does that they don't do. People are just weird sometimes.

[DishLady]

True...

[OfMiceandMen]

I enjoy it when my girl eats some food that I prepared, especially if she likes it.

I would never come back and say/think, she can eat that as long as she maintains her figure.

It would be a jackass/mean thing to say/think.

[worldscolide]

Holy shit I didn't know this was a thing. Granted I do most of the cooking in my home, I've never ragged on my wife for wanting healthy choices.

[DishLady]

It's not everyone, obviously, but yeah, it comes up often enough. (See even one of the guys on here used the popular term "rabbit food" that's commonly used by guys who want their girls to eat "real food" like them.)

[mandyfire98]

We all need to be eating healthy. Health is the most important thing.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Ain't THAT the truth!!!

[mandyfire98]

Too expensive these days to mess around with health too.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think a majority of men do that. I know I don’t. Maybe it’s the type of me. You’re attracting. Don’t know. I’d rather a girl eat if she’s hungry. I’m ok w her eating healthy as well. I’ll even have some of what she’s eating as well cause it taste good.

[DishLady]

That *I’m* attracting? No, sir. I don’t give a flying fig what a guy has to say about my diet bc I know what I need to maintain myself. It’s an actual issue I’ve heard many a much younger person whine about (the guys and the girls), but thanks for presuming it was some personal glitch I was venting.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh god don’t go getting your underwear all twisted up cause I thought it was you. If you don’t care why ask the question? Holy crap Batman

[KrisKris81]

Either they are just teasing her, or they don't understand the importance of good nutrition

[DishLady]

I get the teasing part, but sometimes if a person hears it several times from a person it starts affecting them... the way they see themselves, etc... and they hit some sort of anxiety/depression mode where they really start thinking less of themselves and their own choices.

[MrGSpotHer]

Well for me it's okay now and again not every day eating healthy all the time to me feels like a chore

[MrGSpotHer]

Oh like eating rabbit food all the time? Also I don't see the point in getting a salad at a restaurant or something it's just salad

[DishLady]

Yeah rabbit food. I mean, personally if I order a salad it has to have something I wouldn’t normally make at home. Or a side salad instead of fries, you get the idea. It’s not that girls NEVER splurge, but as a rule, eating healthier and being mindful of portions etc becomes important, particularly for the girls.

[MrGSpotHer]

Yea but some are extremely rabbit food only so I think that's probably torture maybe if people keep on they will have fish or something like that

[Finchie40]

Because he is a controlling manipulative asshole , , those are things I have never said to a girl whatsoever

[Babygirl_S]

Please don’t say that salad and smoothies taste bad. I find them delicious 😋

[DishLady]

Me too. My weekly diet hinges on them, especially in the summer where it gets too hot to prep a hot meal on some days.

[TonyMetal___86]

I believe that every person is free to eat the way they want and like...

Even a housewife sometimes makes a meal which tastes different for her husband because he or she likes it different and no one is to blame here csuse it's a matter of taste...

[RetroReviews]

Those are the guys that watch p*** and expect a normal everyday woman to look like a pornstar which is not reality

[MisterWack]

It is stupid honestly and immature that men & women do this to one another.

[Friendlybro79]

Some people are just unable to mind their own business. Tell them to mind their own business and worry about their own plate.

[hahahmm]

Or maybe you're just making excuses. Average woman used to look 100 times better than the average woman today, without complaining, without blaming men, without claiming that a man speaking is traumatizing.

[dolemite58]

I think some men forget that women’s bodies hold onto fat more than men’s do, once on the lips forever on the hips 🤣

[midnightmoon05]

Won’t worry too much about what young guys think. They are not very understanding or mature to know where we are around this age.

[NathanDavis]

I've never been a douchebag like that...

[DishLady]

Thank you! That’s actually v rare. ❤️❤️❤️

[AliceGregory]

Because they want to have their cake and eat it too.

[spartan55]

Why would I do that?

[DishLady]

It's not every guy (I wasn't trying to generalize), but it is a significant number of guys... enough that it's an issue.

[Anonymous]

That doesn't look too healthy for anyone.

[normalice]

I think it's just to get their attention.

[Crazzyyworld]

Because they are asswhores