How can I encourage my daughter to be healthy and not get fat?

[Anonymous]

For context, my daughter is 6, and I share custody with my ex-husband.

Over the past few months, I’ve noticed that she's been getting fatter. While I don’t allow her to eat junk food, it seems that her father lets her eat whatever she wants. He denies it, but I’m starting to suspect that he might be doing this intentionally to make her resent me. After all, I'm the one keeping her on a diet and telling her to go to the gym while he allows her to laze around.

And sure enough, my daughter is now insistent on spending more time with his father. What can I do to make my daughter healthy without making her hate me?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Sounds like the easiest way to give your daughter an eating disorder and an unhealthy relationship with food. She’s 6, of course she’s going to want sugar and junk food and, in moderation, it’s perfectly harmless to her growing body. If you limit her access to food throughout her life, she would resent you regardless of if your ex decided to let her eat what she wants. 6 year olds are SUPPOSED to be a little pudgy and fat, that’s not a big deal and it’s usually healthy for small children to be fat and have a lot of reserves to draw on. As she grows taller and eventually hits puberty, that pudge won’t be there.

[LazerBean]

How is a 6 year old supposed to go to the gym? Since it sounds like you at best get half, maybe less custody, the only thing you can really do at this age is to step up the exercise she gets when she's with you.

[andreasderjuengere]

If this is kind of a ''parental competition'', then the kid will be the victim.

I suggest to break the circle, and offer her activities that she finds as interesting and satisfying as her Dad's 'care' - and that keep her slim at the same time.

At this age kids begin to ''find themselves'' by imitating the behaviour of those who are close to them. Use her curiosity potential to experiment with alternatives that are in her favour.

And be aware please, that there's a narrow ridge between educating and manipulating :)

[Sonorous]

Find out her tdee, buy her a kitchen scale, download the cronometer app on her phone, get her to weigh out & log everything she eats everyday, then just sit back & enjoy having a kid destined for greatness.

[Agape93]

... she's fucking 6. You're providing the food so feed her healthy shit and take her on walks. You're an adult, act like it.

[Asker]

I do that. But it doesn't matter if she then eats candy after candy at her father's house.

[Agape93]

How often is she at his house

[Asker]

From Thursday to Sunday

[Agape93]

So he's primary custody. Aside from stepping it up or going on hikes as a hobby, not much you can do in only 3 days.

[Anonymous]

Communicate with her doctor. Let her hate them.

[In_Trance]

Lead by example