Do you know anyone that suffers mental illness and they are in denial that they have it?

Question

My ex has mental illness and sadly she is in denial , her personality switches like a light switch , her and I are still mutual for the kids’ sake and we are still friends’ She will be nice and kind and polite for awhile but then all of a sudden she turns into this miserable grumpy person and she starts saying negative things about everything to the point I don’t know who she is when she turns that way. When she snaps out of it , she is in complete denial about the things she said and acts like she never said the things she said. I feel bad for her but sadly her mental illness is too much for me to handle to the point I tell her she needs to get serious help, Her doctor has been adjusting her meds and when her meds work she turns back to a nice person with a good heart , she wants to get back together with me , but I tell her No, and tell her the reason why is because I can’t handle her episodes , because it leaves me with a constant question mark over my head. I still love and care about her , but I don’t love and care about her Dark side. Am I wrong to not give her another chance?

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

That's a really tough situation for you, particularly because you have kids together.

No, you're not wrong not to give her another chance. It will never work. You have to just be firm and resolute, but not in a confrontational or antagonistic way.

Life and society cracks some people. Others were born with some loose wires and screws. She's definitely the latter. I obviously don't know all the things she has, but it's probably best for you to give up any hope of change. Mitigate the damage and blowback as much as you can. She's too erratic and volatile to stay close to.

My mother was an alcoholic my entire life, and had a constant supply of prescription meds because her husband was a psychiatrist. We literally had a kitchen drawer full of all types of pills, all the time (doctors get tons of free samples). I hated them, and have always stayed clear of them. Though many he prescribed to her, specifically, which she told me once in a rare moment of complete honesty, she thought that he passified her addictions, feeding into them, because it kept her more calm. And he, in one rare moment of honesty, told me that he enabled her. Not a great situation, that a psychiatrist of decades could never 'fix' one of his most difficult patients. Because of a teenage trauma perpetrated by a then-boyfriend/love interest, she developed a crippling snake phobia, which led to full-blown agoraphobia and generalized anxiety disorder, where she rarely left the house. Then they become even more sensitized. I was so in it, at the time, as a teenager, I thought I was losing my mind sometimes; or living in a nut house. It wasn't so much these behaviours (and my stepfather's intermittent violent episodes) that caused me so much grief. It was bad, really bad, but... it was the denials that really affected me. I'm not sure if I'd go quite so far as to call it gaslighting (maybe), but there was absolutely deflection of blame, denial, secrecy, and a lack of accountability. And regardless of the specific circumstances, and diagnoses or lack of them, I think these patterns of behaviour are really the nail in the coffin of relationships, so to speak. My advice—and I'm sure you're already well aware, and don't really need this stated as advice or anything, it's more just a reminder and support—is to cut your emotional ties in every way possible, and practice as much detachment as you can. I do believe in change, and that people can, generally and theoretically, change. But not all do. Not if they don't want to. And not all in enough ways as to be productive, effective, reasonable, and worth putting in all the effort that all relationships require. It'll just suck you dry, make you bitter, depressed. We often have to make very difficult decisions on where to put our energy and focus.

Good luck to you. And good luck to your kids, who will undoubtedly be affected by this. Though most households and families have problems. Just got to keep grinding, not give up; especially until the kids grow up into adulthood and move out on their own.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Nah lol I wouldn't try getting back with her, didn't she also cheat on you?
So my mom is pretty much like that, she gets all mean and says the worst shit sometimes for no reason at all.. My mom also has a drinking problem and she turns into Mr. hyde lol. She also won't get help for it.. Tho she knows to leave me alone now, because since I am an adult I have no reservation to dig into her deep and make her cry. So she knows I am not one to fuck with unless she wants to get put down and made to feel worthless. I slice deep with my words and I twist that blade to make it hurt. My sister enables her behaviour and always cracks if my mom gets mad at her.. I don't get it but I guess I am a bit more evil then others lol.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Multiple and most female.
One divorced as soon ad he could.
The other guy gung in there a long time but she divirced him… but as your scenario she got better st times and tried claeing him back. He said no… it really is hazardous since they will blame the other (him) and he could go to jail. He never did any of the crap she claims.
A client had mental illness and wife is hanging in therr w him but aslt the time he wasn't abusive just reclusive.

The healing for the bpd is in finsjng the damage and resolving it. If it was emotional damage she has to find the offending wound and with help take gods love to correct it. Id refer her to church wherebpossibly other women coukd mentor her pray and maybe help. But there's the chemical and hormone variation which i suspect is part if what you see as jekle and hyde and she's st thst age. The drugs will help for a time but they will not always work, be changed and eventually her organs will fail… kidney.

Minister didn't explain tgis at the alter for good reason. Shed did ger job which was ti make 3 little birdies for you. You decide if you can … in the interest if good of the family love and care for her and in what way. Idgive how much youve been chewed up and your depth of strength, i would inly do so in remote, by prayer and encouragement til she finds another. Its good to be honest w yourself and your kids, from a place of love. Youve been hurt and is ok to recognize that.
Yoi also need your own life.. you are young and much life can be be lived.
You decide what you can handle. Once you commit you'll get the job done.
In my experience, a fee people will recognize and do the work to heal. Most dont have the resources or facilities and get worse. Its a malfunctioning brain and ‘heart’ at the core.🧠

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

My brother , last time I seen him around the time our father’s funeral , was like a shadow of his former self, clearly touched by undiagnosed mental illness. With empathy and support I reached out to him then in person and multiple times after in phone calls and messages and even letters offering my love and support but all he ever did was deny and throw it back in my face. The irony is that we laid our father to rest because he drank himself to death suffering diagnosed chronic depression.

Your situation , well I can only imagine the torment of having to come to the decision you have.

I had tremendous guilt over breaking ties with my brother , however the door will never be closed.

Attempting mentally to place myself in your shoes , I’m sure I’d have made the same decision. I feel strongly that we cannot and should not EVER be a lover , a friend , and a therapist and soul less and selfish as it can seem to an outsider we have to ALWAYS put ourself first

NoDecision · Answer

Sadly, some people don't realize they have mental illness and see nothing wrong. Sometimes they have to know someone who also has mental illness, and then it clicks that you find them weird, but you and they act the same, and are just like you are. The funny thing is, is that it can be hereditary. Their mother and sister/brother may have it. But they may not realize it, maybe until they have children and their kids wind up with autism, ADHD, or other disabilities. Then it clicks that they may have it too. I'm pretty sure it is our environment and all the garbage in our foods that make this prevelent today. 🤪😵🥴 And you know, a child with autism can be really very intelligent, but they don't know how to process things in their mind like others do.

Amy10223 · Answer

No, you are not wrong to wan to break up. We all cannot handle things like this so well. It is just beyond our ability to live peacefully with this kind of thing happening in your life. You need to take care of yourself, and your ex needs to take care of herself. Tell her she needs all the medical attention she can get, and that she needs therapy to learn how to deal with her condition. If she denies this, it is not your fault. If she cares that much about you, then she will get the help she needs.

My father suffered from a mental condition that he was treated for--in the army and way back in the 40's or so, and back then electroshock therapy was the way they treated it. So, he refused any more treatment after that because it was so horrible. Your ex is lucky that she is in a time frame where more humane help can be given to her. Be strong for her--but do not weaken because it won't be good for her.

7Phoenix7 · Answer

My ex... I spent 7 years trying to get him to get help. He never did because in  his  mind... he was normal and I was the psycho. If Mental illness was a person I'd put 20 bullets in them...

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

My father. He is a time bomb. He has a hair trigger temper and room for any sort of love or compassion for anyone including his wife and children. He is ex military. No combat. Just naturally a psycho. He hates his children and wife to death. He is a dominating controlling and violent person. I called child services on his deadbeat ass at 13. He hit me with a baseball bat and broke my foot over me wrapping a Christmas present wrong. My mom then got in the way and he hit her with it. He beat my dog. He wouldn't let me go to my sister's wedding because he doesn't didn't want me there. My father should be in prison.

californiareaper · Answer

Yeah I do know some people in denial of their mental illness. You're not wrong, you can't fix her her problems and obviously she cannot, either. Mental illness rarely improves with age unless there is some new treatment, medication, etc. Another problem is getting mentally ill people to accept help and treatment, and also to keep taking their medication. Mentally ill people are very frustrating and draining to me because you cannot reason with them, they are just going to keep doing their crazy shit.

NathanDavis · Answer

days ago you just said you would have sex with your son's friend if you could... that's a bit weird too, lmao

not sure if a mental illness but... definitely not a sane thought to actually be considering and entertaining

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

My Mom is all fucked up. She is still stuck as a 14 year old entitled slut that hates the world. Once she gets old enough that no dude wants to fuck her, I pray she dies alone and hopefully in pain.

I forgot to mention she starved us and was seriously abusive. My sisters and I all hate her the same and for the same reasons. Don't judge my hatred for her unles youve seen my slut mom in action... that's no joke too... forced to watch her fuck random guys from the bar. Real fun childhood.

ManOnFire · Answer

I know someone who I believe has mental illness. They are not in denial about it, but I don't think they're aware of it. And trying to have that conversation with them is not something I have the courage to go into at this time if I'm being honest.

PrincessC16 · Answer

If she is not "self-aware", there's nothing you can do. I speak this from a person that has been dealing with mental illness's my entire life. I was misdiagnosed for Years😩.

MemeSupreme · Answer

yeah some people are in denial about it and it can be frustrating as hell it's a good reason to not get with her dw

chrissykerdock · Answer

for the most part they deny even though they were in loony bins several times it's everyone else not them

Anonymous · Answer

My husband he has to have it 2-3 times a day.

Agape93 · Answer

Plenty. I do, one of my girls does, my best friend does and several friends do. None are really in denial. It's just life.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Many people who regularly interact with me are like that.

exitseven · Answer

I dated somebody that was crazy. I would never know what she would do next. Most of the time she was really nice but once in a while she would just go crazy.

DrPepper12 · Answer

The entire population of the family I am esstrange from

Staximus · Answer

Take out your phone and record a video of her when she turns to the dark side, and then show her when she's acting normal how she acts when she loses it

alice55 · Answer

I used to they were in denial but there dead now

slatyb · Answer

Married that. And no, you are not. You don't owe her your life. Protect yourself and your children.

Anonymous · Answer

liberals infected with Trump Derangement Syndrome

Dongie · Answer

I get hate letters from a few on here all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

Are you to this degree of desperation that you are here talking shit about your ex, we didn’t hear her side of story, maybe you are one of the reasons that makes her snap

Jackguyy · Answer

Most people deny it

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Everyone has mental illness

Sleephazard · Answer

Most people.

Do you know anyone that suffers mental illness and they are in denial that they have it?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you have a mental illness?

Do you know anyone that suffers mental illness and they are in denial that they have it?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you have a mental illness?

We're glad to see you liked this post.