The concept of LOYALTY run amuck?

[Anonymous]

So I'm the loyal sort. I go through the same routine and see the same few people on a regular basis. I sponsor the same vendors, work with the same team, support the same causes. It's a matter of LOYALTY to me. The problem is that everyone knows this about me and it tends to elicit abusive/neglectful behavior from people (including a few work colleagues, local vendors, close friends, and, of course the physically and verbally abusive ex-husband). Really extreme stuff that I won't bore you all with here.

Has anyone else here -- guys or girls, please! -- worked past this sort of issue?

How to I break the cycle? I want to stop being the doormat!

[TimB -1-2-3]

Stop.

Think.

Done.

That's pretty much it.

Dogs are loyal. Humans are rational.

So think about stuff before committing to them. Loyalty isn't bad as-such (hell, I love dogs ;p), but it IS bad if that's your default state, if the only thing you CAN do is be loyal. If you've thought things through, and your loyalty is a result of that, then that is a good thing; why NOT be loyal if you have good reasons, right? But, then again, the opposite is true as well.

So bottom line is, and will always be: think.

And hell, you're already doing it.. "I'm too loyal. Even to my verbally and physically abusive ex-husband." You KNOW what's the problem. Now the only thing to do is just act accordingly.

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=bVVsDIv98TA

[Asker]

I do think about them, of course -- I don't appreciate the assumption that I don't think things through.

Here: Let's say I go to your office for something for 6, 7, 8 years, and suddenly you and your staff take it for granted that I'll let you bump me down the list of priorities, not just once in a big jam/emergency, but all the time because it's "just me". I'm loyal to the office and the people in it because of our history, but if I complain about the odd change, I get my head bitten off...