I am really worried for my overweight cousin. How do I help her lose weight and not get bullied?

[Anonymous]

She is only ten years old and wears sizes that are fit for teenagers. I was at her house to stay over the other day and forgot to bring myself a change of clothes, I had to borrow hers and they fit me! I am 18. I’m really worried for her though especially because she has been picked on in the past before. She starts a new school this year but even though her parents think it will be better for her I don’t think so kids are the same no matter what school you go to and I’m afraid she’ll be bullied to the point where it will lower her self esteem and her weight will be with her once she hits teenager/adulthood. I don’t know what I can do to help either because her parents said she needs to lose some weight for the New Year but her parents are just a big; shouldn’t they also lose some pounds? It’s not good how they say such things and put all the pressure on my cousin to lose weight when they should be doing it together as a family. Her parents would say she needs to lose weight but either doesn’t do anything about it or goes back on their word. It annoys me how they don’t stick to what they say and they think it’s good to please my cousin and give her what she wants…it’s not! They are destroying her.

I know it’s none of my business to say something about how they are parenting her, but I really want to help my cousin in some way Because I love her. Is there anything I can do?

Updates

+1 y

There is nothing wrong with her as of yet. She doesn’t have any health problems but if she continues like this she could in future and I want to help stop that. She is just a kid and kids should be free from problems. Usually once you hit your teen years you suffer from peer pressure but I don’t want her to have to go through this early and her weight is just an extra problem. It’s like living through what teens have to go through twice.

[Anonymous]

It is going to be hard for her, especially if her parents are not motivated to help her through example. I don't know what they are like, but if they keep a lot of bad food in their home, or don't make healthy meals every night, it can be hard for her to adopt healthy habits and stick to them.

The only thing I can suggest is to try to help her by inviting her to do activities with you. Make them fun, and make it about enjoying time together rather than focusing on her weight. Talk to her parents about your concern. Try to make them see why it is important for them to set good examples.

I was an overweight teen, and my mom was very critical. But unfortunately she would always bring crappy food home. I did manage to lose weight, but I gained it back. It was a yo-yo type situation. I would lose the weight, then gain it back. I also have a condition that makes it hard to manage my weight so I know how frustrating it can be. I dealt with this growing up, and as a teen being overweight is one of the worst things.

I was teased a lot because of it too. However, even if she does lose weight you can't completely prevent her from being bullied. Kids of all different weights and backgrounds get bullied. Hopefully she will have the sense to realize that what other people say about her isn't true.

[Anonymous]

I understand what your talking about because I have been overweight my whole life and it hurts everywhere you go everyone makes you feel badly about it. I think you right to be worried. My self esteem is so low because of my weight I have attempted sociade many times. Maybe you can sit down and talk to her, maybe she has something wrong with her? or does she just eat too much? She needs to get control of the problem before she has the same problem as me and she can no longer leave the house or have friends. If you want to talk some more I can give you my account name on here just let me know.

[Asker]

:( I'm sorry to hear that. People are horrible at times just look at you for your weight than what's inside. And what's inside really is what matters. I think she just eats out of boredom and it?s mainly diet. Her parents give portions of food to which she goes back for seconds and when my cousin asks her parents if she could eat something they either tell her no but give in later or say yes. There is no discipline/boundary there and they don?t stick to what they say.

[Opinion Owner]

Boredom is one reason why people eat maybe you can talk to her about taking up a hobby maybe see what she likes to do. My parents put a lock on the fridge at one point because they just wanted me to stop eating. I wish her parents understood how bad it is to be overweight and helped her.

[Asker]

I?m sorry to hear that. People are horrible at times just look at others for their weight than for what?s inside. And what?s inside is what really matters. I think she just eats out of boredom and it?s mainly diet. Her parents give portions of food to which she goes back for seconds and when my cousin asks her parents if she could eat something they either tell her no but give in later or say yes. There is no discipline/boundary there and they don?t stick to what they say.

[Asker]

Sorry didn't think comment sent. Yeah I'll try get her into a kind of hobby ask her what she likes and go from there. A lock is a good idea as that will give her some boundary but I'm not her parents so can't really invade and tell them what they should be doing as a parent even though I want to. Do you think I should talk to the parents about how I feel?

[Opinion Owner]

I think you need to be carful with them because like you said they are going to tell you to stay out of it. What about having your parents talk to her parents?

[ayeshaasghar2]

You didn't mentioned weight or but by yours I can imagine what's the condition. Well it occurs by birth, if the child or the mother is suffering from sugar, then there is a big possibility that the child might get over-weight.

It is good to see that you care for her and taking precautions at early age can really give her a great benefit in the future.

She must take some early steps in order to over come i.e. Less usage of oily things or fried ones, walk for half an hour everyday, walking backwards for 5minutes or so and eating green leaf vegetables. they are boiled, what's better than that.

But ask her to make it a routine and she will get results within a month. Rather than this their are many kosmetik online where you can have a cosmetic surgery if you want immediate results.