Calorie counting is driving my boyfriend crazy-is this unconventional?

[Anonymous]

so I lost 25 lbs lately and I would never want to gain them again, now I love my body and I'd do anything to keep it, so I count calories, like I don't eat a thing without using my scale and calculating the calories, when I'm outside I use that app on my phone to make sure I know what I'm eating, at first, my boyfriend used to make jokes about it, until that one night we were on a date and he literally blew up, he said I was crazy and needs therapy, he said that I didn't need to lose weight in the first place and that that topic is ruining OUR life !

Do I think that what I do is unconventional? yup ! But I don't think I need therapy !

What should I do ?

[tomfeltonforever]

Is he one of those guys that's like, "No fat chicks," and will say in the same breath, "I hate those salad-picker girls, just eat a hamburger!"? LOL!

I'm also obsessed with my weight, and I've lost almost 40 pounds in the last few years. I'm always having panic attacks about it and venting to my boyfriend because I don't want other people to know I worry about this (considering they may be larger than I am). I know it drives him crazy, but we all have these weird little idiosyncrasies that make us individuals. If he truly loves you, he won't leave you for counting calories unless it changes you as a person, meaning you change from a fun-loving and sweet individual to someone selfish, obsessive, and vain. Yes, I can be those last three things, but most of the time, I can enjoy life, and so can you.

Hopefully, he's just frustrated and does not want you to become anorexic or bulimic because that's a hot topic in the media right now. You actually sound a little orthorexic (which isn't that bad at all, I definitely am one) which means you're just obsessed with exercise and the amount of food you eat. But you still do eat which is good. Keep up the good work, and do what you want to your body that makes you happy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

[lilstrwberygal]

He is most likely just worried about you, especially if you are on the thin side. Guys don't worry about their weight in the same way girls do and they are usually unable to understand why we get so worked up over a few extra pounds. Also you got to consider guys can eat more and lose weight quicker than girls.

He also most likely doesn't realize that you can count calories and not actually be dieting or trying to lose weight. In fact, every single human being on this Earth should be counting calories because that's the only way you can make sure you don't over OR under eat. Some people have naturally health eating habits and don't need to pull out a calculator, but I guarantee you any person who is at a healthy weight is mentally calculating what they are eating.

Your best bet would be to sit down with him and explain why you are counting your calories and also maybe try to learn some of the stuff by heart. It doesn't have to be exact, if you learn which foods have a certain caloric intake you'll be able to make educated guesses without always having to get the phone out.

[SuperPerve]

I think there needs to be balance

You need to tell him you like your new body but maybe compromise on when you go out in public with him... just eat things. I'm sure you have a vague idea of what is healthy, so go for those choices.. but make going out a treat and make it less stressful for him by putting the app away.

Do some extra exercise later if you're really stressed about what youve eaten..

[Asker]

we went out after that night and I remember going to the bathroom to check my app, as if I'm killing somebody :D:D

[GoodBetterBestBad]

Yeah if you're having to go to the bathroom just to check something like that...you need help

[SuperPerve]

If you don't mind me asking - how did you loose the weight. Diet and exercise or something else?

[Asker]

Diet and exercise ! I got a membership at the best local gym and worked out for about an hour daily and some days I did more when I had enough time, I got a diet from a friend which worked perfectly fine with me, I didn't know I can go that far all by myself :) so now I eat whatever I want but in less proportions, that's why I count calories .. I do eat chocolates and candies but in way less amounts than I used to

[SuperPerve]

Well you're likely to put back on due to not exercisingg as much anymore and also stuffing up your metabolism with diet change - regardless of counting calories if you're metabolism is slow and clunky because you don't exercise and you eat lots of things that weight it down... 1200 calories can feel more like 1700 your metabolism if you're not looking after it

[Asker]

well I stopped going to the gym for about a week because I have exams but when I finish I will be back

[SuperPerve]

smart girl.

Look I'm in a similar boat anyway ... and don't want to put weight back on.

What I find works best is keep up the exercise, and you don't have to be as strict on dieting.. but you should probably try and stay on a similar path (i.e; bland chicken and salad without dressing could become marinated chicken and salad with dressing and cheese), but allow yourself prper cheat time when you're out and about... like, let go completely just for that meal

[Anonymous]

I used to date a girl just like you. When we first started dating I thought she was the most beautiful person I've ever met inside and out. I loved her just the way she was and would not change a thing about her. Then she started to become obsessed with her body. She would count calories and constantly complain that she ate to much or she needed to workout. Then came the attention, which she loved the most. She became extremely vain and would tell me that I'm lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend. Little did she understand that the main reasons I was with her was because of her personality and intellect. Her weight obsession eventually drove me crazy and I ended up breaking with her. There is a difference between being healthy and being a calorie counting obsessed fanatic. My advice is to just keep it to yourself. Your boyfriend doesn't need to hear how many calories youve eaten today or how many pounds you've lost this week. I'll be honest, when I meet girls like you, I have sex with them and never talk to them again.

[vmw2008]

I agreed with you up until that last sentence. You can't exactly speak out against someone's annoying habits and then go on to say that you use those women for sex with the intention of never talking to them again. Bad character is bad character. You don't exactly sound like a guy a good woman would want to date either due to that.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like at first you counted calories to lose weight, and now it sounds like an obsession, when in fact you don't even need to count calories to lose weight, hell Tony Horton the guy who made p90x said he doesn't even count calories.

[vmw2008]

I think you should monitor how much you say about this in front of him. Being healthy is great, but being obsessed isn't fun for anyone involved. I think you've been doing this diet long enough to know inherently what you can or cannot eat. I don't believe it's necessary to calorie count as much as you do at this point. If you do, do it privately and don't announce it to your boyfriend. Also avoid discussions about health, diets, weight, etc. for a while. These things should help.

[momoneymoproblems]

My intention is not to use them for sex, but to teach them a lesson. I once was a good guy and still am. Just reading the question drummed up some old feelings. Women made me this way but I guess it's my fault for dating those types of women.

[vmw2008]

I don't think it's right to teach lessons like that. Lessons are for your kids. You could easily just avoid them altogether without doing something that terrible. I don't go around intentionally using men for free dates in order to "teach them a lesson." That's just wrong, even if certain men have left a bad taste in my mouth.

[momoneymoproblems]

That's a flawed anology sweetheart. Your comparing apples to oranges. I don't have any kids and sometimes a broad just needs to be put in her place. You seem like a nice girl so I'm sorry if I offended you.I really am a nice guy though because I would never leave a bad taste in your mouth like those other jerks lol.

[vmw2008]

No offense but the first thing I think of when I think of a jerk is a guy that uses women for sex no matter the reason. Especially if the whole act is about putting her in her place after. You're not what I'd consider a nice guy, and I think the analogy fits fine. You just can't see from a woman's POV

[GiniViv]

Just keep the calorie counting to yourself. That's what I do

. Guys don't like it when a girl is obsessed about things like that. Its a turn off and in a way I get it. As long as you are healthy you don't really need to worry about calorie couting tbh.

But yeah...if its something you HAVE to do...then its best to not talk about it too often.

:-)

[Deft_maiden]

Congratulations! 25 pounds is a lot. you've done well. I don't blame you for being cautious and on guard. that is how you keep those unwanted pound off.

Try to do it more discreetly. He is not being supportive if you.

[cupcake916]

What app?!?! Help a girl out lol

[Asker]

it's called fat secret, it's amazingggg ! :D hahaha