I don't even know the real question here... but the sad situation is thus; It is my first semester at college. I have met a few really great guys here (platonically, it so happens that all my new friends are male). Through one I met another. It's funny, in a heart stopping kind of way, without putting him on a pedestal, he is an amazing, charming, shy tall handsome man. He moved to the city only a few months before, away from all friends and family. Despite his incredible good looks and charming kindness, after the months he has been here he surprised me on a few of our earlier run ins by obviously making an effort to perhaps have a friendship with me. I get so intimidated and flustered in his presence. I try to play it off, but I come off as really bubbly. He smiles and laughs along with me (even if I'm only faking to hide my awkwardness) but I walk away embarrassed and mentally kicking myself. I suppose it's because I'm self-conscious and for lack of a better explanation I definitely feel that he's 'out of my league.' I don't believe I'm generally unattractive, physically I have some quirks, my face is full, not mousey like I see a lot of the cities girls face are (they try to make it look this way), I definitely would set myself apart from other girls. I have never really had a problem getting along with guys, as all my friends are guys, I really do enjoy their company better than most females, and they do tease me and flirt but it's all in good fun so I can't be that bad. I don't wear makeup, I don't have nice clothes or even clothes that flatter my body because I do take care of myself really what it comes down to is I just don't have the money, and I don't have the time. I don't feel good enough for him, but I'm ashamed of thinking this way because it's all physical. In all other aspects I feel that maybe we would make a really good match. He has a degree in my major, he's come back to college now to pursue other interests, but both interests we share. I think in my head what it comes down to, logically, he could have ANY girl, beautiful, real, pretend whatever, that he wants. There's so many other special girls out there, why me? I don't stand a chance but I don't feel I should think that way but I'm struggling to get over my hyper physical self awareness around him, any obvious out there flirting and I'd end up making an idiot out of myself while scaring him away completely if he's not interested. How can I make myself more feminine, in small steps, free steps! I keep my skin and body clean (I'm getting over very light-moderate acne, unfortunately, a few red dot here or there hardly noticeable on their own but my skin could look much nicer, I'm trying, it's getting there), I don't smell, I keep good care of my body. I feel if I come out and ask him to hang out on our own it will be painfully obvious. What, in the world, can a hopeless girl do to attract an elusive handsome guy in college?
Handsome boy in college-- hopeless flustered young girl
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