How do I stopppppp? I know its bad. :/?

[Anonymous]

I'm 18.
I used to be kinda heavy back in my mid school and early highschool Years and got a lot of harassment for it.
I was bulimic pretty severely for about 3 years on and off, then went through about a year of a somewhat anorexic phase.
I'm at a healthy place now (5'7" 120 pounds) and mostly I just eat healthy and stay active..
But lately I've been having some issues again. I haven't really binged, but I eat more than my usual and I feel bad and...ya know.. Go at it. Its happened every day this week and I'd been doing so good :/ its like I can't stop and then I'm so.guilty and I feel awful physically too.
The only person who knows my past of it is my boyfriend and it made him so sad to hear, and I can't have him know this..I need to get it together.
Any tips from those of you who know?

[Anonymous]

I understand what you mean. I've never had an eating disorder but I shed about forty pounds. I'm still not where I want to be but any day that I screw up even a little aka a piece of candy or maybe a few cookies, I feel so so guilty.

What I would do is plan things out. You need to be replenishing your body properly after workouts. If you are doing heavy exercise for a good amount of time your body is probably calling out for more food and that's why you are eating more. What are you eating more of?

[Asker]

I dont really heavy workout..and I stick with fruits and veggies mostly. Protein isn't always my best friend.

[Opinion Owner]

If you don't like eating meat I suggest good protein bars with minimal sugar and fat. Also, fiber! Both will keep you fuller longer and help you stay on track!

[Anonymous]

Well if you're at a healthy weight.. considering your past, maybe you just think you're eating too much?
How many calories have you been eating in a day?

[Asker]

Around 1500 ish. All I need really. But ehh. It's habit of guilt I guess

[Opinion Owner]

That's about right actually.. If you're active that's really really good. Don't feel guilty..guilt makes you release the hormone cortisol and store more body fat EEEK!
I think you're just not used to eating a healthy amount? You could drop down to like 1300 on some days but I wouldn't suggest doing that unless you've eaten too much the day before or something. 1500 is good for your height if you're active.

[Opinion Owner]

..and actually depending on your body you can eat anywhere from 1500 - 1900 with an active lifestyle and still stay thin. You're height and weight are really good, I'm sure you're very small so don't lose anymore weight!

[Asker]

No I don't plan on loosing more, I like where I am..I just slip up and freak out. Because I don't want to gain either. And I know I won't from occasions and all..but ehh it makes you crazy

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sure you're in great shape, don't freak out haha.
It's probably just that old unhealthy mindset that is hard for you to get rid of? You've come along way though with getting healthier so don't be too hard on yourself!

[Asker]

Blah yeah... I knoooow..it's just I'd not done it probably for a good year, and boom.

[Opinion Owner]

Good news! You can do better next week :) Don't dwell on it, it's in the past now.

[Asker]

I like the positivity ;)

[Opinion Owner]

:)) .

[trgffggffgfg]

Check out water whispers ilse on YouTube she had an eating disorder just like you but then she made a ton of ASMR videos and in some way that is incomprehensible to me it helped her and now she is just awesome. Maybe you can do that too? Here is the story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbsEpmgKAZs

[Asker]

Thanks! I'll definitely watch this

[trgffggffgfg]

I don't understand eating disorders but I would like to see more ASMR videos, I don't know if that really was it that helped her but it sounds like it makes sense too since you get tons of feedback on how you look if you upload videos of yourself.

[Asker]

This girl definitely knows..

[trgffggffgfg]

Knows what?

[Asker]

She's got a good account I think..
Thanks for showing me this

[trgffggffgfg]

No problem, I watched a lot of her videos and care a lot about her but I guess thousands of other people also did the same it is kind of redundant.

[Asker]

Did what? Cared about her?

[trgffggffgfg]

Yes, of course. She has a huge fanbase and because of the nature of her videos everyone is only nice and positive towards her. That is really powerful stuff.

[Asker]

Yeah it really is. But she deserves it. She had a tough account and she's pretty cool for putting it all out there like that