Should my marriage be over?

[MangoTaroTato]

I (25F) have been with my husband (25M) for almost two years and we recently got married about a month ago. It’s been great so far, we get along well and we spend a lot of time together which I think may be the problem. We moved in together pretty soon or rather he moved in with me pretty soon about 3-4 months into our relationship. At the time it made sense because he was over my place so much, I wanted him to save money. We’ve had our fair share of arguments but they are pretty short lived and they don’t last very long but I think the problem is we don’t really have lives apart. I’m branching out and finding hobbies and he just sits on his phone or plays video games. It seems like whenever I try to get us moving to try new things, he’s rather just scroll through social media.

Yesterday, he asked me a questions that I’ve been asking myself for a while now and it was “Do you think I’m holding you back from what you’re meant to do?”. I told him no, he’s great at encouraging me with whatever comes to mind no matter how crazy it may sound to me so even though I’ve been having these thoughts, I don’t think on them for too long. Sometimes, I do have the thoughts though. I had my own place, a good paying job, and my own car. I moved states by myself twice and since being with him I have no job, I stay at home with him and no car. I don’t blame this all on him, I played my part in making my own decisions for sure but it’s just frustrating to think about sometimes.
Anyway, ever since we had that discussion, I feel like he’s been pulling away. He’s still being outwardly affectionate but now he wants to turn everything I say into an argument, he’s wanting to be alone more and he’s not doing the same things he used to. Should I wait it out or move on?

[Makeushiver]

Turning issues into arguments is a classic passive aggressive reaction. It avoids the discomfort of addressing the actual issue and moves it into an area where those on the receiving end are more apt to just want to get some peace and harmony. I might suggest taking advantage of his the question about him holding you back as an opportunity to at least get some real information. Tell him what you are unhappy about in as non-confrontational terms as possible. Mention that you feel somewhat abandoned by his restricted interests. Have some reasonable comments formulated ahead of time perhaps 1) Trying some activities that could be mutual, taking golf for tennis lessons? 2) You do not elaborate much on your own social circle. If you have friends or acquaintances that do interesting things suggest that in the absence of any interest of his, you will plan more stuff with friends and if that means you are unavailable at some time he wants well, too bad. 3) Look into counseling. I think someone you want as lover - if this is a semi-permanent or greater relationship than social compatibility is as important as sex. You will need tom decide if the current behavior is a deal-breaker because it sounds like the type of thing that deteriorates over time and rarely improves without both parties working towards it. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're in a tough spot in your marriage. Here are some things to consider:
* Communication is key: It seems like you and your husband had a somewhat open conversation when he asked you if he was holding you back. Try to have another honest conversation about how you're feeling. Let him know that you value your time together but also need some independence.
* Evaluate your needs: Consider what you need to feel fulfilled in the relationship. Is it having more time for yourself and your hobbies? Is it feeling more supported in your career goals? Once you understand your needs, you can communicate them to your husband.
* Couples counseling: If you're struggling to communicate or see eye-to-eye, consider couples counseling. A therapist can provide a safe space for you and your husband to discuss your concerns and work towards a resolution.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to wait it out or move on is up to you. If you can communicate openly and honestly with your husband and are both willing to put in the work, there's a chance you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. However, if you feel like your needs aren't being met and there's no willingness to compromise, it might be time to consider moving on.

[Anonymous]

I think you've moved on. It sounds like you've got control Issues. You either didn't fully know this guy and now you're seeing the full true him (which isn't necessarily bad) just not what you wanted. Or you are ALWAYS like this with each guy and this will be a re-occuring theme with every guy you date. Keep in mind my response is just based on the way you worded the question. Relationships are give and take. Sometimes that means accepting some things you don't necessarily like about your partner.

[Iron_Man]

You’ve got to be kidding me you just got married a month ago and you’re already ready to throw in the towel because he made that bad unnecessary comment about do you think I’m holding you back and what’s his problem why is he saying that what’s the point of getting married if you guys are gonna be like that?

[Hotboy_booblover]

I don't think marriage should be over.. u can stay away for some time and see.. I am sure these feelings will pass..