I have a large family and having a huge, fairly open concept home means gatherings are almost always at my house. It makes sense, the kids have more room to run wild…and they do!!! I don’t mind be “cramped” up in a smaller space though. I mean I did grow up sharing one bedroom with three sisters.
Perhaps my extreme love of the holidays makes me the “go to” host? I do love decorations, holiday baking and traditional holiday dinners!
Family is extremely important to me so I cherish all of our time together. However, it can become a bit overwhelming and exhausting to have to prepare for and clean up after every big event. Some of my family member are very thoughtful and insist on helping with the clean up. Though, there’s always a lot more to do once everyone has left.
Are family gatherings, events, holidays always at your house? Do your events take place at the largest house? Or is it based on other factors?
Are You The Main Host Of All Your Family Gatherings?
I hosted large family gatherings for a number of years, trading off with a sister close to my own age.
The tradition in our family USED to be that younger generations take up the mantle every 20 years or so, roughly coinciding with the next generations coming up, becoming settled, and having the strength of youth to carry off large gatherings.
Well, 20 years has long past, probably going on 35 years. The younger generation has not stepped up.
My first thought was, "If that accompanying pictures is of your house, I want to come to your home for the holidays! ❤️🤗☃️" If you have any single, attractive women in your family who are looking to date and marry to have their own family, then I'm ready! 😁 I'll make you this deal. Once she and I have a large open concept house of our own, we will host alternate years/holidays with you. First year, we do Thanksgiving and you do Christmas, next year we swap holidays. You get to marry off your relative to an amazing guy and cut your holiday celebration load in half. That's a fantastic deal! 😁
I’m sorry to hear that. Hope things change! No one’s perfect, perhaps those you love will realize and make improvements!! Everyone deserves a loving family.
When my kids were younger and growing up, say through their high school years, we hosted most family gatherings. We had the biggest house (not huge) and a nice-size backyard and pool for summer picnics. Our extended family was not huge, about 20 people.
It used to be at my great-grandparents' homes, but then they passed away and my grandparents took over. Now my grandparents are getting too old and need more help, so my parents, and a couple aunts uncles are taking over. We try to have fair splits so no one is overwhelmed. Someday, I will do the same with my siblings and cousins.
I agree that’s the fairest option. We do go to my father and step mothers every Christmas Eve but do a huge Christmas at my house. My father hosts Thanksgiving every few years but I host Thanksgiving for my entire mother’s side every single year. New Year’s Eve parties are at my house, bbq’s too. Impromptu get togethers are planned at my place and I’m informed afterwards. I don’t mind but what some of my family doesn’t understand is that house size makes little difference…quality time is all that’s important!!!
Ooooh, gotcha. Sounds mainly like you need to make sure they actually involve you in planning the impromptu stuff instead of just deciding for themselves you'll host. Maybe you can tell them no a couple times when it would be too overwhelming for you and suggest an alternative location. Maybe they will start varying locations after that gradually.
They always go back to the same point…. more space…. a nerf battle arena in the basement…. tons of bikes, power wheels, electric go carts, scooters, etc…keyboards, drums, guitars…. a huge trampoline and lots of fun for the kids. I get it, I’m the “fun” house. But kids will have fun anywhere!!!
Yeah, I do understand all that! But it's good for kids to learn to do different things in different places and expand their horizons and imaginations. Doing too much of the same thing in the same place can make kids less likely to try new things!
I love cozy homes! I’m thinking about downsizing actually! My children have their own beautiful rooms but end up in my bed most nights. I usually work from home while doing other tasks or sipping coffee at my dining room table and rarely use my office. Our two livings rooms have become toy rooms, or at least there’s always toys hidden (or not) in both, so do we actually need a designated toy room? My kids are getting older and the “toys” are getting smaller and much more expensive so a toy room is becoming unnecessary. I’d be very happy with a 3 bedroom home instead!!!
YES! This exactly. My oldest son gets frustrated because he has to share a room with his brother. But, I've been able to show him that sometimes that's better and sometimes location is worth more than square footage. There's more purpose in what we do and how we do it, in a good way. And so much less to maintain!
I do it all myself. Whaaaaaa!!! Hahaha. Actually my kids help with some age appropriate chores but there’s still so much always. It doesn’t help that I’m a neat freak…except on family or movie nights. Then it’s time for fun, laughter and popcorn fights. That’s why we have dogs…to help clean up!!!
nope, I am not, my parents are, but... one of the usual gathering places is mine, because mine happens to be the centric point to many of our relatives and our family gatherings can be/get huge... lol
More or less. I host Thanksgiving, Christmas. I feel you on the exhaustion. Try to have others bring dishes, and there’s no shame in disposable dishes and plates.
Yes. Because we have a big house. My other sister also have a big house but she decided to not put much furniture in aside from a couch for now…so it’s our house…everyone loves it. So I am good with hosting..
Family gathering is mostly at my house. My dad host the gathering and we often have generation of families attending. As for me I'm often in my space as well. 😩😩
I am my only family, but I am usually the host for my friends.
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Anonymous
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No, I’m not. I’m poor. Besides, I’m barely welcome at any holidays. My family is highly dysfunctional and abusive and I kind of hate people that have nice families with big homes. Some of us catch the breaks in life, and some of us don’t.
I don’t think you hate people with nice families or homes. I think you just desire those things for yourself…and that’s natural! But trust me…even the biggest nicest families have quarrels sometimes. We’ve just learned that at the end of the day we’re family and all the trivial bull will pass but family is here to stay!!
Life isn’t about catching breaks…it’s about breaking down the obstacles in our way through kindness, determination and constant focus. You’ll get there!!!
I’m a hardcore holidayist!!! I even bake cookies with my children for all my neighbors, their teachers, the local fire departments and police stations!!! Everyone loves Christmas cookies and it teaches my children the meaning of community!!!
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