My cusion died in tragic constructive a couple years ago and it was honestly the worst thing to ever happen in my family. It's so difficult now and really torn the family apart.
It hurts more as he had so much going for him in his life, he was about to get married, had just started his own business and had a beautiful little boy. He wasn't meant to die but due to reasons I don't want to get into on here he was killed and we have never gotten justice for it and I don't believe we ever will due to how fucked up the world is.
It feels like we were lied to. He should have been protected. He went in thinking he was doing a good thing and ended up losing his life.
He was so funny and kind and I have flash backs of when we were young kids playing together and all the funny things he used to do. I have dreams but he's not really dead or but he died in some other tragic way.
He said not long before he died to me and my sisters but he wanted us to be at his wedding because we were like his little stisters to him and was willing to pay for are rooms and everything just so we could be there on his special day.
There's so much time I feel is lost too because we didn't get to see him because of lock down.
I feel like he should be growing old with me , my siblings and are other cusions but he's gone and never coming back. I miss him so much.
I cry a lot for him and it's secretly really fucked me up. I feel like he just died for nothing. People will never be allowed to know the reason he died and who fucking killed him and it makes me so mad and angry. He didn't need to die at all but even if he'd had lived he wouldn't have been the same man ever again and would have been 10 times harder to live with.
Christmas is always such a hard time because it feels so empty without him there
