My husband treats me like a maid/nanny more than a wife. Please, help me?

My husband and I have been together for 12 years; since he was 21 and I was 19. We started out as best friends and within 6 months we were living together and in a serious relationship (the first and only serious one in my whole life). We used to be so close and now I feel like I'm just here to cook, clean, take care of the kids, and have sex with him whenever he wants it. I've told him that I feel like he doesn't care about me anymore and he just gets angry and treats me like a bitch for telling him how I feel. He has a life outside of the home; work, friends etc. I have nothing. I have no friends and my life revolves around being a homemaker. Any time I try to make friends he automatically hates them and then I am treated like a fool because they don't meet his standards. I have no family within 300 miles and anytime someone comes to visit he acts like he wants them gone as soon as they get here. He treats them horrible (disrespectful and rude) and I've always been friendly with his friends (even the ones I really don't like).
I feel like this relationship is a joke sometimes. Like people are looking at me like I'm an idiot for staying with him. When we fight (which is rare actually) he always says he'll try harder but the next day it's like nothing ever happened and things go back to the way they were. He expects me to do whatever he wants (and yeah I do it) but he can't even listen to me when I ask him to bring home milk and bread from the store. It can even be something extremely important and it's like he won't listen for even five minutes. He forgets stuff as soon as I'm done talking to him. I feel unloved and VERY unappreciated and he doesn't give a crap. He says he does but he keeps doing the same thing over and over again. I've even thought about leaving him because I feel like more of a maid/nanny than his wife. But he's also very jealous and possessive of me; said once he'd shoot me if I tried to leave him. I don't know what to do. I feel trapped and very alone

  • you should try to work things out and stay
    Vote A
  • you should give up and leave him
    Vote B
  • I don't know
    Vote C
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Thank you all so much for your opinions. You've really helped me when I had no one to turn to. Thank you a million times.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you choose to leave involve the Sherrifs department , they take threats on ones life pretty seriously

    • You should file a complaint about his threat of shooting you. They'll probably listen to that, probably not to complaints about emotional abuse.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You will never sort this mess out, it has gone way too far.

    If you can get to family that cares about you, whether it be parents or siblings, then I think you should consider leaving. Just go, no explanations needed. He will know why!

    He obviously has no respect for you as an individual with needs and a life of your own. He sounds like a user, who is probably insecure and is a control freak.

    The future may be hard for you, but I can't see any resolution to this situation.

    I wish you well. Please take care, and stay safe!!

  • another girl falling for the wrong guy, marrying before she knows him 100 % ?

    • You'll have to learn him that he might lose you if he continues that way.

    • Show All
    • A small scale Mussolini... a despot.

    • As if he is willing to show his true color 100%?

What Girls Said 3

  • Will it benefit you to stay with him? You do NOT deserve to be treated like that, nobody does. You need to do what is best for you and your kids, my advice? Leave his ass! What if he becomes abusive? He's treating you like a dog. You're a person. I know I'm young to be giving advice but I know what my mom is going through with my dad right now. XX

  • You should leave him. He sounds abusive and controlling. He also may have a mistress or maybe he is cheating and that's why he is treating you this way

  • does he happen to be italian

    • No. He's mixed. 3 parts white (?) And 1 part Hispanic

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