It's okay because a lot of people seem to see marriage as a social contract, and not everyone falls in love. But I think we should be open to meeting people from any place -- be it parents, relatives introducing you to someone OR you going out yourself, online and finding.
In the end of it all, strong foundations should be there: trust, attraction, directness, respect, similar/same values of life, cleanliness etc. And over those strong foundations, life would be so much enjoyable if other things existed as well -- chemistry, intimacy, common hobbies and past times, humor.
So to me it's less about how two people met, more about how happy and successful the union is.
In arranged marriages usually the couple are not "forced" to get married. It's just that the parents introduce potential suitors and the bride picks and chooses from who she would like to marry. One thrill of arranged marriage is that you get to fall in love from the beginning and it's even more exciting as you slowly learn more about the other over time. Arranged marriages also have much lower divorce rates in comparison to "dating."
Well if your indian arrange marriage are common as parents think loving someone is considered like you betray them or crime and childrens have no other choice or option but to secret date and if your doing this for your make sure you know her or him properly maybe marriage after love right?
I am against arranged marriages. I believe no one should be forced to marry a certain person just because your family wants too or just because it's convenient. Marriage should be about two people falling madly in love to each other, knowing that person inside out, being best friends, wanting to share the rest of your life with them because they are your soulmate. What are the chances of this happening in an arranged marriage? Of course it can happen but I believe 95% of those who had an arranged marriage are not fully happy because there's no true connection, you were forced to do it.
In arranged marriages usually the couple are not "forced" to get married. It's just that the parents introduce potential suitors and the bride picks and chooses from who she would like to marry. 95% is a ridiculous statistic, and I believe it to be even closer to 5%. One thrill of arranged marriage is that you get to fall in love from the beginning and it's even more exciting as you slowly learn more about the other over time. Arranged marriages also have much lower divorce rates in comparison to "dating."
I've come to appreciate its strengths more than I used too. An arranged marriage is about values, culture and compatibility. These are rooted in family significance who know you probably better than you know yourself in many aspects. Let us be honest, you can romance anyone. That's superficial. Don't get me wrong, the person whom you entrust the responsibility of selecting your potential partner could get it wrong.
The divorce rate is much lower but it’s hard to know if it is bc they want to stay together or they feel extreme social pressure. On the fence about it, bc a lot of people here in the US marry for love but don’t stay together. I just don’t agree with it when the man is much older or the people getting married are children.
I think it's absolutely terrible I was horrified when I saw a movie about it .. a documentary... just to imagine not choosing the person you will be in bed with is just horrible and primitive. I feel so bad for these people who live in that kind of country and I just feel even more lucky to be born in the civilized world
No not maybe. Definitely. Did you see the interview with that girl who was kidnapped and taken 5,000 miles away to a hellhole where she was supposed to marry her cousin whom she had never met? Gross. Luckily she escaped to the embassy in a town called darmaskus and got back to civilization
It's not a marriage between 2 people but between families. So there's only family compatibility and no couple compatibility. I am not saying that all such marriages fail but it's not my cup of tea for sure.
It depends where you live. In the west, it's not something you see anyone doing, probably 17 century. In other places like India, it is part of the culture that plays a role in society. Be paired with someone, have kids, and repeat.
My cousin’s family is in a church that has essentially arranged marriages. Dating is not allowed, they have a thing they call “courtship”, which is arranged by the two families and the approval of the pastor.
Parents have a much better understanding of a potential spouse than any young person. This is one of the reasons as to why the divorce rate in the US is so high, parents usually have little-to-nothing to do with their children's marriage. Moreover, the courtship doesn't necessarily always result in marriage now does it? The lady gets the final call? At least, that's how it should be...
She really doesn’t have a choice. Do you know about Bill Gothard and some of his views. That’s what she’s stuck in. If she leaves on her own, she gets disowned.
If you mean arranging as in parents find potential matches and ask you to get to know them a bit and decide for yourself then yes, we actually evolved for that.
Forced marriages are cruel though and I disapprove.
Not necessarily, it only consists of the parents introducing potential suitors to the daughter. Whether or not they are the same ethnicity of her depends on the parents.
Actually, in religiously-fueled arranged marriages, the morality & religiosity of the person is taken into account as a potential spouse. It is actually condemned in Islam to marry on the basis of wealth or social status. And in Christianity any form of discrimination is frowned upon. But I understand where you may be coming from in certain scenarios in places like India.
"Married against your will," that isn't the case in the majority of arranged marriages. That's like me saying that dating consists of a man forcing himself on to a woman, when that to is very rare. The media seems to have influenced your view on arranged marriage. I agree with you on the subject of child marriage, however I see no problem with people getting married 16+ which is the case in most places. Only exceedingly primitive areas like Afghanistan still have <16 marriages which should be frowned upon.
Anyways that’s still awful cause in some cases a 16 will literally have to get married to a 50 year old it’s sad how pedophila is so normalized around the world
What you noted is quite rare, but I do agree. Pedophilia is now only recently becoming normalized in the US as a part of the LGBT movement. Really nasty stuff.
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