How yo overcomemy fear of marriage?

[Twalli]

To be clear I can't imagine marrying anyone else than my girlfriend. I actually really want to marry her. At the same time, the idea of marriage terrifies me. It's not fear of marrying my girlfriend, but just marriage in general. How do I overcome my fear of marriage?

[RobT312]

just dive in and do it! You will still have fear, don’t think it will go away. It’s an unknown and a commitment, a little scary. But, if u can’t imagine being with anyone else, marriage can’t be that scary. also think about the fun stuff that can happen such as kids, I’m really wanting kids now for example.

it sounds like you know you are ready, that’s all that matters. I think more importantly, don’t wait.

i knew I was ready 2 years ago right after the holidays and before Covid, still had fear but was ready to do it. Then Covid hit and put it off for 1.5 years and we went into Covid work from home survival mode.

now we are engaged, and I keep thinking, we could have planned when we were bored and stuck at home!

[Twalli]

We don't want kids.

[RobT312]

Cool that’s fine, irrelevant really. I still think marriage can be great

[SnakeBoop]

do you need to marry?
marriage is a choice in this day and age.
what about it scares you?

[Twalli]

I don't NEED to, but I want to marry my girlfriend. I think it's just that I can't accept that there aren't any more loose ends in my life. My girlfriend is my first and I don't think I expected to find the one on my first try, so maybe it's partly that.

[jahaims]

What's scary about it?

[Twalli]

I don't exactly know.
Not having any previous dating experience, I honestly didn't start my current relationship with the idea of her being my only girlfriend ever. I don't mind it if she is, I just didn't expect it.
I also don't have any accrued capital. If I buy an engagement ring I will either be using my savings account or an income that is recent. So I am starting at nothing

[jahaims]

You should probably figure out why it scares you before you pull the trigger

[Twalli]

That is the problem though. I really want to marry my girlfriend so it's not marrying a specific person that scares me. I want to do that. It's marriage as an abstract that scares me which confuses me.

[jahaims]

I don't know doesn't make sense to me to be scared and not know why so I can't help you there bud