Weddings. Kids or no kids Dilemma?

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids and I am getting married. In my invitations I am allowing my friends and family to bring their kids as well. In my culture its normal for kids to be welcome. My future husband cousin is also getting married after us and she doesn’t want any kids allowed. I get it each bride can pick whatever they want. I just don’t know how to handle the situation because I can say I can go if you allowed my baby and kid to come with us or we respectfully decline. And if we decline will they not attend our wedding. My baby will be 8 months at the time of the wedding and she has a GI tube for feeding so I can’t just find a sitter for the baby. What are your suggestions? Ask her if she is willing to make an exception because we are family and the reason I need to bring my baby it’s medically related. Or just tell then thanks but no thanks. I just want to avoid family drama.

[SueShe]

Explain to her that you are in a difficult position because of the problems associated with your child and that you cannot and will not leave your child in the care of someone while you are having fun.

Decline her invitation but allow her to attend your wedding. By doing this, you hint that you have character and personality and that you place a number of values higher than not to allow children at a wedding.

Do not involve your husband in this matter because it will only create tensions.

By letting her attend your wedding with her children while yours are being shut out, you also indicate that you are a class higher than she will ever be.

[SnakeBoop]

you can explain the reason why you wouldn't be able to go if they keep to the no kids rule, but you're not entitled to say "we're family, make an exception"
i don't think you having to say no to go if they keep it fully child free will make them not go to yours.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why people don’t want kids at their wedding. You’re just going to make family members from both sides hate the fuck out of you because you don’t want their kids there. I been to a few and it’s just people gossiping about the bride being a bitch or the groom being a huge ass if they don’t want kids there. Then they’re constantly being asked if they hate children or if they’re planning on never having kids. A few weddings I’ve been to I don’t see kids misbehaving. Mostly just doing their own thing and talking with their cousins.

[humanearth]

Kids do the darnest cutest things at wedding. As a photographer, kids can make weddings more fun to photograph.

Kids are unpredictable and spontaneous. The photos bring many joys and lasting memories

[TrueConfection]

I would just decline and say, "I'm sorry we cannot attend due to the baby's medical needs." If she skips your wedding out of spite, then good riddance.

[KatieB713]

You can explain the medical reaso you would need to, but don't use the fact you are family as that's not an excuse that looks good.
It is better to be honest about the situation

[monorprise]

Given Weddings and marriage are at their heart as an institution about the protection of children, its hard to see excluding them being consistent with any honest theme.

[DyingLately]

Decide on if you actually want to go. If you do well you can ask if it’s okay for your children to come but from the sounds of it the kids could be bored without other kids to play with.

[ragooo8]

Just be reasonable. Maybe attend the ceremony but not the dinner.

[Anonymous]

Wait so you can't be away from your child for 2~3 hours ever?

[Iron_Man]

I would like that but I don’t see it happening

[In_Trance]

It's your day; do it your way