I don’t want my husband to hire women?

[Anonymous]

My husband owns a car dealership and auto shop and registration and he has multiple employees, but there is a woman that he hired to do the auto registration work. I know typically that women do those jobs, but I don’t like the idea of a woman spending 8 hours around my husband. He says he does not socialize or get personal with her and she does her job and goes home. She leaves for lunch and there is not personal time between them. He said there should not be any reason for me to be jealous. He said she has her own family at home and she’s just doing her job. I still feel jealous though. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

This is really indicative of a deeper problem you might have. At some point you need to trust your partner to make the right decisions especially when it involves their career.

Being a business owner your husband needs to make hiring decisions. Besides the practical aspect of finding the right person for the job we now live in 2022. He’s under more pressure to hire women. Do you want him to get sued in an anti-discrimination lawsuit because he only hires men?

If you are always suspicious and/or jealous it can one or a combination of the following:

1.). You are a control freak. Maybe you have good reasons for this (you have been cheated on in the past). But people tend to have a reverse psychology approach to being controlled (distrusted) vs. being trusted. The latter is more about respect. Do you think your husband feels like you respect and trust him?

2) You yourself got something to hide. Not saying you are guilty. But controlling people are often hypocrites.

Now I don’t know the whole story above. It’s arguable that some jealousy shows you really love someone (healthy). But too much jealousy is much a deeper issue.

How about this. Try to visit the office to get lunch with your husband at least once or twice a week. His secretary can see you with him. You can see her (and realize she’s not as threatening as you fear). Don’t overdo it but also make it a point that you and him are in a loving relationship.

[Asker]

I was traumatized by an ex in my 20s and he was a big time player. That’s why I’m like this now, so you are right. My husband is 10 years older and he’s awesome and I’m just nervous that he will do something like the jerk in my 20s.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you even met the woman he hired?

Also you are married. By your own admission he’s a good guy. So what are you so paranoid about? Yes infidelity happens but this another level of trust and commitment. If you keep acting paranoid this can actually push him in a direction you don’t want. Men feel disrespected when they are wrongfully mistrusted. It’s okay to tell him you feel uncomfortable him hiring a woman. But telling him he can’t hire women outright is going way too far.

Just imagine if you were a female business owner. Depending on the industry you would want or need to hire men. Would your husband get away with telling you that you can only hire women?

[Asker]

Yes your right I just have to change my mindset and get over my past hurt.

[Asker]

Yes I met her she had a attitude when I showed up and she didn’t know who I was and then she changed.

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe try being friendly with her. Don’t have to be friends but respectful. If she sees you as a decent purpose she might think twice if she ever has a weak moment/temptation run through her head (worse case scenario). But if she sees you as a bitch that might embolden her in a direction you don’t want. Also if you got to know her better it might put your mind at ease. She might be a decent woman who has her own relationship and family to look after. Don’t have be BFF but just saying.

Personally when I’ve come attractive women who have cool and respectful bfs/husbands it really quells any bad ideas that run through my head. Not that I would act on them anyway (I don’t hit on taken women). But if her boyfriend/husband is an asshole it makes it more tempting if I ever got an opportunity.

Try to think of it like that.

[Opinion Owner]

*of she sees you as a decent person

[Shy_Steve]

If you were a Boss, He probably wouldn't be comfortable with you working with certain Guys either. It's just about trust, If you don't trust him then your relationship is not going to work properly. A Person who loves Someone fully will trust them, If you don't then don't and it's just going to make the relationship work.

Sounds like your feelings are telling you to not trust him, I think you should listen to your feelings, I am not saying he is a cheater, But your relationship might not be working that's all.

[Asker]

I had a past where an ex was a big time player and it traumatized me. My husband is 10 years older than me and is way more settled and I do trust him I’m just nervous because he is so amazing to me.

[Shy_Steve]

You need to tell him that and explain how you feel, He might try to do something to make you feel better.

[sunflower00]

I understand jealousy, but this is a bit extreme. You want him to only hire men? He’ll get branded as sexist and might end up having to hire people less qualified for the job.


Men and women work together that’s just part of life. I work in a car dealership - its a whole mix of men and women and no one is sleeping with anyone we just do our jobs. This is a jealousy problem that I would recommend maybe getting help for because you wouldn’t wanna become controlling due to it

[Sour-rose]

... D-d you not trust your husband or somethin'? I unfortunately got nothing besides this sounds like a mental personal problem that you need to figure out. Why do you feel jealous if some random woman is working around your husband. How would you feel if it was dudes around him. Questions like that.

[Agape93]

One of the following

1. Get over yourself. Denying someone a job opportunity just because YOU are insecure is exceedingly pathetic.

2. If you trust your husband, then don't worry about it.

3. If you don't trust him, then leave him.

[Gent207]

Is it jealousy or are your alarm bells going off?

[Asker]

Both. I pretend to be someone else and called just to see how she would act and I asked for my husband and she said he wasn’t there and I know he was then then I asked who are you to him and she said why does that matter and this put a red flag in my head.

[MrHopper]

Jealously achieves nothing other than making what you fear happen, happen... on a side note its sort of illegal too so legally speaking you can't make him do that

[slatyb]

You need to get the F over this. It is probably illegal for your husband to discriminate against women in hiring. See a therapist and talk through your irrational insecurity.

[hhadeshatesme]

How did you manage getting married while being this insecure

[Anonymous]

are you fucking serious? it's against the law to not hire someone just because of their gender. there is obviously a big issue in your marriage if you want to dictate who your husband can and cannot hire... wtf! go to therapy...

[Opinion Owner]

bet you wouldn't care if that girl he hired was ugly, am i right?

[Asker]

It would not matter, men date and cheat with ugly women all the time

[Opinion Owner]

you're still the one with an issue here

[Paul09]

Be a adult. Be mature about it. It's only a thought, a thought can be changed. Silly jealousy just causes more problems. Makes it sound like you don't trust him.

[Anonymous]

You should deal with your jealousy and let the women do her job in peace.

[maximumpower]

Its not so much about women working at same businessplace as it is that you are clearly insecure about your relationship. Figure out what's causing it and fix THAT before fixating and stewing about who's working where.

[whereismyjohnny]

That's ridiculous. What are you doing with him if you don't trust him?

[jjj101010]

It would be illegal to refuse to employ someone because of their gender. Don’t encourage him to discriminate

[jahaims]

If you don't trust him you shouldn't be with him. You sound crazy af.

[Chaser3232]

Don’t creat a problem where there isn’t one!

[EmmaMary]

What exactly are you jealous about?

[Asker]

Them working together and the yelp reviews saying they do a great job.

[EmmaMary]

Ask your husband for a job then you can keep your jealous eyes on both of them.

[Asker]

I don’t want to work and I don’t have to.

[globetrotter22]

QA. You don’t have a job right now? Do you have kids?

[EmmaMary]

@Asker

Jolly good for you... You'll just have to carry on moaning, groaning and bellyaching with your jealous insecurities. 👍

[Asker]

@globetrotter22 yes and my husband makes a lot so there is no point for me working

[globetrotter22]

Well it sounds like you got a lot of time your hands to make yourself paranoid. Unless you are busy taking care of the kids (which is a full time job in itself) than maybe you should consider getting a part time job yourself. It will keep your mind more occupied and also give you some side cash.

[Pudsmucker]

Do you trust your husband?

[Xtendable]

Introduce yourself - get to know her

[Asker]

I don’t like her attitude.

[Asker]

He tells me there is nothing to be jealous of and why would be because she has to work hard for a living and I don’t have to do anything.

[Xtendable]

But its not about liking her, its about asserting yourself

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. How can any man put up with you?