Why do people plan even their children after marriage? I can understand marriage. But kid too?

[Anonymous]

Planning a marriage is cool. But why the kids too?

I am talking about mutual decision. Both husband and wife.

Those people should not answer who have taken decisions by themselves without listening to their spouse or just considering their answers instead of actually listening to them.

Updates

+1 y

I was watching a regional movie just now. In that, the husband decides to skip kids by 5 years. But in just 2.5 years from the start, the wife has two abortions. Rendering her incapable of pregnancy due to weak system.

Here, the husband was not listening to his wife's wishes. And she was not making firm statements too. Resulting in surrogacy. And the guy was really practical. A written contract in each and everything. That kind of man.

Hence the question and the description.

[Ruchisingh]

I can't give statement on western cultures and the rights given to them

I am in a country where sex is acceptable after marriage not before

If his own wife has any male friends she is been asked whom you are talking and what's your relation with him

Why you are going out in body exploring dresses

Why your cleavage is visible cover your body, cigarette and drinks are not allowed to women

Society matters

So we can't plan babies before marriage.

And making baby is easy for men

But women has to feel all the pains for nine months

And baby is a responsibility not a fun

That's why babies done after marriage

As husband and wife knows the future planning

[Asker]

You explained it quite beautifully. I am also from India. And I see such couples that really do ask these questions. That is regretful in my opinion.

Planning should be done both mentally and physically. That point is a really good point.

[Ruchisingh]

Thanks for the compliment

[menina]

I'm not sure if I really got your point but this is my take on the situation. Having a kid is a huge responsibility and some people prefer to plan them instead of having them when they're not ready. Also it takes two people to make a baby, so it's not the woman's fault. Plus, most pregnancies are unplanned.

[Asker]

People wait for marriage till they are ready for it. That is understandable. Truly.
What I fail to understand is, after they marry, they plan their kids like an event in the calender. That is also understandable. We need to categorize things.

But the event of having kids revolves around something they prioritise more. But as you and many said, kids is a huge responsibility. So, should they not be the priority? No matter what?

Stability is already achieved and that is why they have married. What more to have for they have to wait for kids too.

[menina]

Kids should be a priority but only when they're born. And being married is not a reason to have kids. Not all married couples want to have kids. I understand that marriage is the rule in your culture, and I respect that. But there are many places where being married doesn't equals having kids and vice-versa.

Besides not all marriages are stable.

[Asker]

..💯..

[menina]

👍🏾👍🏾

[Asker]

It is like this I am able to redesign my own opinions. Discussing things with people without getting trolled or something. Thanks!
I just care less about the opinions when I get trolled through them. But still, I consider them as something else that may be there in those opinions too.

[menina]

You're free to share your opinions and to disagree with others. It's totally fine.
I don't like being trolled either so I understand you.
You don't have to change your opinions because of others.

[Guy13]

We Plan our children for no other reason to ascertain the 500,000 required from birth to 18 IF child is kept in the Public tract.
If Home or Privately educated up 18 then a 1,000,000 easily. So, the Union is a Combined Income/Expense Equation:
-Starter House: 500,000.
-each child 500,000-1,000,000.

Planning is good but don’t forget about University or Trades or Certificate training etc.

[OlderAndWiser]

You don't understand planning for significant undertakings and obligations in life?

[Asker]

People marry after they get some degree of stability. Why hold children if the stability is attained till that point?

[LazerBean]

I don't know if I really understand the question, but having kids, how many you want, and how you're going to raise those kids is a extremely important topic. Probably one of the most important topics that are relevant to potential parents. So on the early stages of dating, and throughout the dating stage I made sure that I and the man I was considering marrying completely on the same page about children.

[Asker]

You both were on the same page. That's really good actually.

I was watching a regional movie just now. In that, the husband decides to skip kids by 5 years. But in just 2.5 years from the start, the wife gets the abortion done twice.

The result being, her reproductive system being too weak to bear any child after that.

Here, the husband was not listening to his wife's wishes. And she was not making firm statements too. Resulting in surrogacy.

And the guy was really practical. A written in each and everything. That kind of man.

Hence the question and the clarification in the description.

[Asker]

A written contract*

[TacosRAwesome]

You need to be on the same page re the big stuff like marriage and kids for a relationship to work. So it makes sense that they're planned before.

[jshm2]

Movies are mostly shit, so don't take them as gospel.

I myself planned kids to have a 5 year gap between them and it's why my two kids have a 5 year gap between them.

What you're thinking is something very different.

[inhua]

it's always good to plan your future ahead. it's this lack of planning and preparation why some people end up screwing their lives over. they think they can just "wing it" in life.

[slatyb]

What? Do you think people should just have as many children as possible? They plan their families to suit themselves.

[Asker]

Not the number of kids, but when to have them.

[slatyb]

Timing, number, it's the same thing.

[Asker]

How?

[slatyb]

Most couples manage both the number and the timing with contraceptives.

[Berethor]

Because they was brainwash by feminism, abortions are not a good thing.

[NathanDavis]

because that is the grown-up thing to do...