Do you agree that men should marry 30-45 & women 16-30?

[Leopard23]

Agree

Disagree

Other

[Weapon77]

No. If we go by science, the prime child bearing age range for women is 25-35, with 20-35 being great for some women. Past 40 can be dangerous. Whereas men's prime siring years are from 35-45 based mostly on resources, but physically their prime is 25-35, which will produce the healthiest children.

Taking all that info together, we can assume women should be married by age 30 at the absolute latest if they want children, but being married at 20 is optimal. For men, being married at 20 would be ok, but only if they have sufficient resources (house, money, land, etc.). 25 appears to be the optimal age since men if that age would have had plenty of time to build resources and are in prime physical condition.

In summary, men are waiting too long and wasting their physical prime by not marrying until 30-45, especially with how choosy women are, but marrying before 20 is a terrible idea unless you are rich like pro athletes are. And women marrying before 20 is far too young and will make pregnancy unnecessarily hard. Waiting until full physical development around age 20 is best, and possubly even waiting until mental maturity at age 25 is even better for many women.

On a social note rather than biological, your example would have me waiting 3 years to get married, which is fine, except you'd have me marrying a 16 year old, which sounds insane. I hate 16 year olds lmao Even dating 18 year olds aggravates me; marrying one would kill me! And the older you make the man marrying the 16 year old girl, the creepier it gets. When I do get married, I'm thinking I'll be in my 30s, and she'll be in her early 20s, which seems about right.

[OddBeMe]

Teen boys sperm ain’t blanks. Our prime years are same as women. Their eggs get fewer past 45 but don’t make it seem like 30 yr old man and 15 yr old girl are gods perfect couple.

[Weapon77]

@OddBeMe Hey bro, you commented in the wrong place. You meant to answer the asker's question because he is the one who is suggesting a 16 year old girl marry a 30 year old man, which is obviously gross. I VERY CLEARLY said so in my answer to him, so I know you weren't replying to me about that nonsense.

[OddBeMe]

Hey! I comment where I want! I am an alpha male.

Also I apologize and it will never happen again.

[OfMiceandMen]

I don't completely disagree with those age groups. Women can have complications during pregnancy after 35-40, men too if they get snipped in their 40's. LOL

That aside, I think guys focus on family more at a later age, 30 and up where women are definitely younger. Men in their 20's are more interested in in sex for the purpose of, well... sex.

I would think there should be an overlap in the ages where that sweet-spot is, not sure exactly where it is but there should be an optimum period for both.-

[Leopard23]

Nobody says it but when want the finished product when it comes to men, so unless they marry a highly paid young athlete

[WonderBell99]

If I had a 16 year old daughter, I would never let her marry a guy her age, let alone a 30 year old man. Besides, the legal age to get married in my country is 21 for both men and women.. which is perfectly acceptable.

[OddBeMe]

Actually most states have a law that permits parents to allow underage marriage. Isn’t that gross?

[Daniela1982]

@OddBeMe In the old days if a girl got pregnant there would be a wedding - shotgun or traditional.

[WonderBell99]

@OddBeMe I’m not from the USA, so i have limited knowledge about the laws there. Where I live, the legal age to get married was 18 for women and 21 for men until a few years ago, they changed the ages to 21 only recently.

It’s just crazy how adults below 21 cannot even drink alcohol but can go to war or get married. Just bizarre and senseless.

[Leopard23]

Like most of these prohibitions they are broken. I know that I was drinking and having sex when i was 15.

[OddBeMe]

It’s religions. Our govt passes laws based on religious communities electing religious leaders. And they want to marry young girls. Thus pass laws to circumvent age of consent if the parents sign off.

[WonderBell99]

@OddBeMe The state and religion should be kept separate. In my country, there is religion-state neutrality. Religion does not interfere with the matters of the state.

[Leopard23]

@OddBeMe sounds like democracy to me.

[OddBeMe]

That doesn’t mean religious men can be elected and pass “family empowering laws”. I’m not making this shit up. This is why I give to CREW and the church of Satan (obvi an atheist group)

[Anonymous]

people did that long time ago. It make sense because men in their 30’s have financially stable and women in teen can recover their body after pregnancy quickly.

[Guy13]

I think two years out of university in a real job then Family. She needs to appreciate what s B- the real world is.

[21Cowboy21]

I would say not quite thay extreme age range difference as may be hard to relate to common interests based on differences in life stage (if man is 20+ years old and 70 he may not want to travel - and his wife who would be 50 may just be getting started wanting to travel in retirement coming up and still into pubs drinking and sex regularly. It may create an unsuitable dynamic long term.

Sometimes can work - but I generally feel both of those people would each be happier with partners closer in age to themselves.

I do feel that 5-10 years difference is healthy for males to be older and females younger though - especially as a lot of females sight wanting men who are rich, high status in their company/society, and handsome/dominant as attractive traits/resource ability they seek out in partners. And men want females who are young enough to have a variety of healthy kids if they so chose, and generally don't care about a females employment status the way girls. do at all - whether she is young 20's in school/cashier at walgreens or CEO of a hedge fund - generally would not matter or affect her ability positively or negatively with men (just a little bit it does). Her looks matter a lot though. So 5-10 years difference I feel the partners would have a very good relationship and also be close enough still to enjoy/travel and be in similar life stage they both want most times.

[Apple1996]

Not a good idea. Men already die 7 years sooner then women so with a age gap plus that 7 years added. The woman is setting herself up to be widowed early on.

Also a issue if the couple wants to have kids since older dads can cause issues like adhd/autism and a lot of other things so it's not recommended for guys over 35-40 to be having kids

[DaySpring]

Good points. I'd say it depends on the person. I think people should be financial stable before marriage. However, that would not apply to you. It depends on what the person wants their life to look like. However, for women I do think it is easier while they are younger. Studying neuroscience; I'd definitely say that. I really would love to be a woman for a day just to see what it is like for them because I don't think women understand how their appearance affects a man neurologically and so on.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Fucking nobody should be marrying at 16! N if I had to wait a whole decade longer to get married I'd be super pissed. 10 years behind on raising a family. I could die b4 some little shit is even born that I would've got to know for 10 years if I'd started sooner! That's stupid. Marry when u want, but please as an adult at least. 18+. Maybe 20+. But not 30+ that's too long to expect everyone to wait. N 16 is way too early to expect to be ready for marriage. N just, +. No top age cap. Fucking 80yos can get married if they want to. That's cool. That's sweet. Whatever.

[Daniela1982]

A girl doesn't have her shit together at 1-, and some not even at 25. Marriage is not a game. It is hard work and a lot of compromise. More people divorce over financial troubles more than any other reason. So you have to be on a sound financial foundation to make a marriage work.

[Jamie05rhs]

Or people could just stop being so damn materialistic.

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs Yes, but being materialistic has nothing to do with marital ages. More of a reasons to marry someone discussion.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Daniela1982 The point you were just trying to make was dealing with money.

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs I was making more than one point, not just money. But let's face it. You need money to meet your needs. I knew someone who got married and they bought a new house, furniture, a new car, and had a baby. Guess how long that marriage lasted after the foreclosure and repossession?

[Jamie05rhs]

@Daniela1982 SEE? That's exactly what I'm talking about! Materialism! Who the f ever said you have to buy a HOUSE after getting married? (Apartments exist.) And I guarantee you he bought a "pretty" one just to make her happy.
And furniture, too! I bet they went to f'ing Ashley or some shit and bought it brand new when they could have just got stuff on Craigslist.

I know how these people are, Daniela.

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs Sadly, it causes more unhappiness than happiness.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Daniela1982 What does?

[SnowedIn]

This: "Marriage is not a game. It is hard work and a lot of compromise." BEST statement on GaG since I've been on this site.

[Jamie05rhs]

@SnowedIn I fully agree.

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs Money.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Daniela1982 Ah.

[WonderBell99]

@Jamie05rhs Well, you still need money to pay the bills. Financial stability is *one of the* significant factors for a healthy marriage.

[Jamie05rhs]

@WonderBell99 I understand that. But here's a fact that most people don't realize: If you spend less, your bills will be smaller.

[WonderBell99]

@Jamie05rhs That’s obvious, lol. However, *most* people who get married go on to have children, and when you have children, the expenses aren’t exactly small. You still need money to live a comfortable life. Daniela wasn’t talking about overspending, she was talking about financial stability, which is important regardless of your relationship status.

[Daniela1982]

@WonderBell99 True, raising a child to the age 18 can cost upwards of $250,000 per child. Some estimates go as high as $300,000. That's a lot of moola if you have 3 kids. So you have to be in good financial health to get married. Not many have that at age 30, much less at 16.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Wonderbell99 Correction: You WANT money to have a "comfortable" life. Some of us have a lower level of "maintenance.". It's all having the ability to be content and be at peace.

[Jamie05rhs]

"So you have to be in good financial health to get married.". You're assuming that married people automatically want to pop out babies.
There is such a thing as contraception, you know. Many couples use it, and it can be obtained quite easily. And the pharmacist is not going to say "Oh, your ID says you are married. You can't purchase this. This is only for single people."

[Jamie05rhs]

by the way, I was just having a conversation with @OddBeMe and we both agreed that people shouldn't have children if they can't afford to take care of them.

[OddBeMe]

@Jamie05rhs I go farther and say it’s child abuse.

[WonderBell99]

@Jamie05rhs I don’t think wanting to live a comfortable life is bad. Everyone wants to live comfortably, it doesn’t mean wanting to be rich or wealthy. All I’m saying is, if financial stability isn’t really important to you.. well, okay. Guess the conversation is over.

[Jamie05rhs]

@WonderBell99 Everyone wants to be financially stable, and so do I. But a lot of people from your economic class use that as a code word for "rich.". Because you don't want to say "rich."

[WonderBell99]

@Jamie05rhs What exactly do you mean by “your economic class?”. I highly suggest you refrain from making any assumptions about me. I do not ever speak in “code words” and I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I never once implied or equated being rich with financial stability. I’m not the one who is in need of a dictionary; it is plenty clear that you are.

[Jamie05rhs]

@WonderBell99 You and I have both been on this site for a long time. You may not have noticed me that much, but I know you quite well. (Not really anything special about you personally. I just pay attention in general to everyone and everything.). That's why I know which economic class you come from.

I don't have any personal issues with you, though. I think you're a lovely person. So let's keep this debate friendly and not turn things personal.

[WonderBell99]

@Jamie05rhs I did not turn anything personal.

Have a good day.

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs No argument from me there.

[Drumlin2001]

If my 16yr old daughter was marrying a 45yr old I would have a serious problem with it.

[Leopard23]

Nothing yiu could do about it

[Drumlin2001]

In UK there's a new law that you can't get married till 18. Gives me 2 years to talk her round. I'd even consider hiring an escort to seduce him, or some other way of breaking them up.

[Jamie05rhs]

NO! I fully disagree! Men and women should both marry between the ages of 18 and 22. (18 if they already met each other and dated each other all through high school.)

I believe this modern notion of squandering your youth and waiting to get married until you get old is STUPID!

(If I had found my wife already, I definitely would have married her.)

[Raaj4you]

Nice pictures, wonderful family. It makes me feel so happy. I want to create a family like this.

Other: 18-25, for both men and women. I think biologically we should marry very early in life. Our ancestors were right. They married early, enjoyed their sex life and created a family.

New generations of people have good careers, assets and material possessions. But they don't want to date, marry and make babies. Younger generation is materialistic and selfish. They have forgotten the biological life cycle. They assumed that they will live for 1000 years. What is the point in marrying at a later age? when you have lost excitement, enthusiasm about dating, sex and marriage. I have realized that I have missed years of love, care, companionship and sex life.

[xoxosilentgirl]

i would say 21-35 for women. 16 is just way too young, not even legal

[MidnightOwl57]

I'd say early 20's is also a bit young.. Most people our age are still immature

[xoxosilentgirl]

yeah early 20’s still too young, but in some parts of world it’s considered mature enough to have a baby

[genericname85]

pretty much yeah. getting pregnant way later than 30 risks disability if you even can still make a child as a woman. and as a man, you should be financially established first, so you can take care of providing the economic needs of a famliy.

[MidnightOwl57]

sorry late 20's-early 30's is the best age for a woman to have kids and most women, who have kids are actually that. The risk for complications is higher only after 35... you can look it up on Google..

[genericname85]

@MidnightOwl57 i'm in social science. i've researched mortality data, also specifically infant mortality data which includes misscarriages in form of the measure of stillbirths. i know my shit. rates go up starting 30. and where you put the arbitrary threshhold is your subjective choice. you could draw it at 35 as some of the relevant literature does or you could draw it at 40. doesn't matter to me cause it's a rising continuum either way and not a binary step thing that happens suddenly at a certain age. all i'm saying is that the rates of misscarriages and birth defects like trisomi start rising at 30. i would agree with you about starting with 20. that's more reasonable in terms of personal maturity.

the only reason you got slightly passively aggressive in your tone just then is cause you're dealing with your own ageing, which i'm not making fun of or anthing. it's tough thing for us all to deal with but it's specially difficult for women cause they are forced to come to terms with the fact that they won't be able to even produce offspring anymore roughly at the middle point of their life, while there doesn't seem to be a biological limit for men.

[genericname85]

i actually bothered to get you some sources, cause since you're refering me to google i assume you didn't even google yourself before stating your subjective opinion.

https://www.bmj.com/content/364/bmj.l869 as you see, the chance of misscarriage even ever so slightly goes up at 29.

risk of trisomy 21 has a similar curve.

[MidnightOwl57]

You cherrypick your data and sources to validate your own bias, misogyny and prejudice towards women.

In medical science, the term geriatric pregnancy is used for women over 35, so it's not some arbitrary threshold I put up.
"there isn't a biological limit for men"
Lol, sure that's why sperm banks don't accept donations from men older than 35-39.

Aging at 23? Lmao this is really funny. Bold of you to assume, I'm even interested in having kids.
I'm not even gonna bother replying to you anymore, it's a waste of time. You can think anything you want.
My value as a person isn't determined by what some strangers on the Internet think about me. In real life, I know plenty of people that disagree with you

[genericname85]

@MidnightOwl57 ok. so to clarify: you're denying the fact that a small but statistically significant rise in stillbirths at the age of 29 exists and you're blaming that on my "misogynistic prejudice towards women".

you now what hat is? that's your ego not allowing you to admit that i was right because you wanted to be right. that's you now switching away from logical reason to insult because you were hoping to be right and you're now mad at me for the fact that you were not right.

i don't know why sperm banks don't take donations of men older than 35, i'm assuming it is due to their lower chance of successfull fertilization because there has not been a correlation found between sperm donor age and risk of stillbirth https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26762315/

you leaving this discussion now is like a pidgeon playing chess. kicking over the figures, shitting on the bord and then strut around as if they had won, when clearly you were objectively wrong, didn't have the maturity to admit it and instead resorted to insulting me as if i'm at fault for you being wrong.

sorry that i know my shit. sorry that the facts didn't confirm your version of reality. i hope you can learn from this and grow.

[genericname85]

@MidnightOwl57 by the way even if mens age of causing birth defects would go up earlier than that of women, that still makes your wrong about the correlation between age and birthdefects/stillbirth in women. so that was entirely pointless destraction and a failed attempt at making me angry xD

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I don't really care as long as both parties are legal and consenting. What other people do is their business. Before you go and bother me with the whole, "What would you do if it was your daughter" question, Im never going to have a family, so your question is irrelevant.

[4ngelic]

people should marry at the same age. would say mid twenties to early 30s at latest

[menina]

I strongly disagree. At the age of 16 no one has the maturity level and the responsibility that are necessary to get married.

Plus, people should only get married if they're ready and if they want to. Marriage is not for everyone.

[RainbowFran]

Adults are the only people who should be getting married (16 isn't an adult) and as far as I'm concerned, people of any gender should get married whenever they choose to. If they want children that might factor into it but I don't see why else there would be a set age for getting married

[OddBeMe]

No, stats say both genders marry more often at 25. Since divorce is more common, and there’s demand by younger females to marry older men, that seems more common.

I’d say successful marriages are those in the similar age groups, with enough in common to be best friends.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't agree. At sixteen I was still very immature even though I knew what I liked and didn't like at that age I was still trying to find myself. not to mention me and authorities we're always butting heads and dating or marrying a man in a 30s or 40ish wouldn't have worked! 🤬I personally didn't find myself emotionally and mentally maturing until about 23 or 24.

[MidnightOwl57]

Nah, they should marry at whatever age they want and feel ready (the question asks about getting married and not having children), as long as they're over 18. 16 is underage

[Anonymous]

Why men 30 to 45 lol
Let me tell you something “ with donald trump voice”
Men who marry after 40 better are skinny healthy and active and have money. If all this is missing peace be upon him. Amen

[bamesjond0069]

Crazy ranges. Men 35 and up. Women 25 and under.

Marry in the US though not at any age 😂

[PBandJ_Nerd]

16 is way too young to be marrying anybody. That is still a high schooler.