What solutions do you offer for increasing the number of happy and successful marriages?

Question

Mybeachlife8888 · Accepted Answer

Getting both parties to realize that marriage isn’t just the next step in dating…….

No seriously!!! You’re not completely understanding what I mean after reading that!

both men and women are both so casual about marriage. They pretend like it’s a huge deal without understanding the emphasis of what a marriage truly is.

Marriages would be more successful if people discovered who they are, what is truly important to them, and understand how serious marriage commitment should be. In my opinion Divorce should never be an option. Yes there might be a few reasons for divorce such as complete black and white issues such as being married to someone who is a murderer or something wild like that.

I would suggest to many people to date as much as possible when young, have fun, experiment, really discover who you are and what’s important to you. Then when you think you’re ready for marriage you’re probably not…. I would then figure out what type of person would be happy being married to you for the rest of their life. Once you find this person, then ask yourself if you would be happy being married to them for the rest of your life. Truly put some deep thoughts and discussions into this process. Now this first person you do this with will most likely not be the person that you’ll want to marry….. I can almost guarantee it. Think of the probability that the first person you considered marrying being the person that you’ll marry and not want to divorce. You’re kidding yourself if you think the first person you think you could marry is the person you should marry.

I still don’t think you get how serious of an issue marriage should be even after hearing all of that. Maybe consider this….. imagine if the consequence of a failed marriage meant that you would be sentenced to death…… now do you think you should marry that person? Lol 😂. Once you start thinking this way, then maybe you’re ready to consider marriage. And the reason I say this is that marriage involves way more people than just you and your partner. Once married you have your family, kids, and even future shared friends to consider. These thoughts are just the top of the iceberg. There’s so much more. You get one life to live and when you finally find that person you’re ready to marry, make it a lifetime commitment because that’s what marriage is supposed to mean. There shouldn’t be any considerations that you’ll get a do-over or mulligan by divorce.

So to answer your question, I would say that if society really emphasized the importance of marriage and people were conditioned to take it more seriously, then we would have way less divorces. I think it’s as simple as that.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

1. End alimony and require prenuptial agreements where each person keeps all of their own things and things they bought with money they earned from their own income. That would greatly decrease the number of divorces that are financially based because it would remove the incentive for women to divorce and steal from the man.

2. Require people to live together for 1 year prior to allowing marriage. Dating, regardless of the length of time is NOT the same as living with someone. Many people get married and then soon after living together they realize they aren't compatible.

3. No sex for at least 3 to 6 months of being together so each person has to have things in common they enjoy doing together besides just sexual activities. Too many people ONLY focus on physical attraction and sexual satisfaction and ignore almost all other aspects of a relationship.

4. Require couples to create and submit a plan together for expectations in the marriage. That should include financial responsibilities of each person, division of labor, whether they do or don't want kids, etc. Somehow, some people don't discuss those things before marriage and then are schcked when they each have different views.

5. No individual social media. They agree to only have joint accounts and each of them need to approve of a post before one of them posts. That way they aren't posting things that could be harmful to their relationship.

XHopelessRomanticX · Accepted Answer

Above all, guard your heart.

Seek wise council from people who know you best. Go on group dates, find out what your friends and family think of the person.

Attend pre-marital counseling. Don’t wait until you start having problems to get into counseling, you need to be on the same page before you get to the alter.

Date your spouse, not other people.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

If you choose wisely, relationships are easy.

Guy13 · Answer

Babies and Singles stop having babies out of wedlock... keeping one's leg closed will do much to improve quality of family life and/or marriage. People take the easiest road.

BCRanger10 · Answer

- The most important thing would be the better formation of people when they're younger, in terms of morality, decision-making, spirituality, and emotional maturity. I've said it many times before, but it must be repeated. Marriage prep begins when you are single.

- Start getting people to realize what love and marriage are and what they rightly expect and demand of those who participate in them. The emotional response is only a part of what makes them what they are. What they really are is a constant choice.

- Get people to realize that marriage is not about "compatibility" and that it's not something you simply "transition" into. When you look at marriage in those terms, you've already lost. You're trying to fit an entire ocean into a shoebox. It doesn't work like that. You're essentially putting limits on what you're choosing to love.

There are so many other things I could list, but what I've said here would be a good starting point.

xJeremyx · Answer

Go for pre-marital counselling. Examine your partner's background and family. Will you be able to deal with his/her desired lifestyle? How will differences in your mentality affect the way you both respond to the same situation? Are you able to get along well with the in-laws? How should you work out your differences during conflicts? Do your personalities and characters match well, or will they cause conflict? Are you able to meet each other's needs? How much are you willing to compromise to fulfil your partner's needs? How different are your methods of communication and how should you adapt to each other's preferred style of communication?

Couples considering marriage need to think about such things, and so much more before tying the knot. Too often, couples rush in without considering the seriousness of these questions, and many other aspects that may strain their married life. They think human love conquers all. Which it doesn't. Rushing into marriage often results in conflict and improper handling thereof, giving rise to various problems, which have a lot to do with failure to communicate amicably and resolve unpleasant situations promptly.

Not only that, there has to be a constant effort to keep the romance alive. Weekly meals outside, monthly dates, scheduling regular intimate time, and going above and beyond to show love and affection in ways your partner likes, are all great and often indispensable ways to keep your marriage fresh and alive. Always make the focus of your relationship about your partner (after God of course), rather than about yourself.

I believe that should help.

Anonymous · Answer

I am going to ruffle some feathers here, but I'll say it anyway because it's a fact and we are doing ourselves no favors by tiptoeing around it. The institution of marriage is dying a fast death and it's mostly women who are killing it. Half of marriages end in divorce, women initiate the vast majority of them, and lack of commitment is the number 1 reason for divorce today.

Many women argue infidelity is the cause, but studies show men and women cheat at similar rates, and women actually cheat more than men when younger.

Looking at the divorce rates among straight, gay and lesbian couples is very telling. The highest rate, by far, is among lesbian couples, and the lowest is among gay couples. Straight couples are somewhere in between. In other words, the more women involved in a marriage, the more likely it will end in divorce.

Modern women are destroying marriage, and in many ways western society. We need to start holding them accountable for their behavior rather than sparing their feelings and continuing to give them a pass.

Finchie40 · Answer

Don’t commit to someone you can’t remove your inner selfishness for , vice versa, For Love to grow you both have to remove your inner selfishness for each other and sacrifice for each other meaning you can’t always be right and they are wrong , accept each others flaws , no one is perfect , make each other your top priority over everyone , if you can’t do those things for
Your partner they will not be able to do for you , Just because you don’t like something your partner does doesn’t mean you have a right to control them. Ask yourself does it really effect you? Is it hurting you directly , Are you wearing their shoes like you expect them to wear yours? the only time you should end a relationship is if you are being physically abused and cheated on or if things are constantly one sided , when they don’t compromise with you what so ever but other than that you fix it and realize it can’t always be about you

najekim · Answer

Never lose your temper. Okay to be upset, but never angry towards your spouse.

Compromise, compromise, compromise. You're both could be right AND you're both could be wrong.

Listen carefully, think, then reply.

If some issue doesn't matter to you, let them have their way. If it does matter to you, calmly state your reasons. Never give excuses.

Now one thing that works great for us, but is not for everyone is, for example going out for dinner or could be just about anything, I'll give 3-4 choices I would like and she picks the one she likes unless she comes up with a better option. Then we go with hers.

Berethor · Answer

Less hos and more women that wait until marriage, hos are losing the ability to bond to a man.

Adam1978 · Answer

Reintroduce slut shaming in media, women body count needs to be low. Remove all benefits from whoever files a no fault divorce. Ie they can leave but they will leave with what is left of what they brought into the relationship. Ie women need to return to be traditional, because all they do today with their freedom is ruin their life and happiness. It's very few women that enjoy the mens world because it's is so much worse then the simple life a woman can have.

PatriceONeal · Answer

Change marriage laws so that they don't put men in a disadvantage position. Currently a woman can cheat on her husband and still win custody and alimony. Which is on its face immoral, corrupted, and disgusting. The marriage and family courts are highly predatory.

Bricealan · Answer

@marish01 Not sure if there is one,(solution, that is) in today's society, and social work people have been asking that question for a long time. We talked a lot in Sociology class about the Bureau of Marriage and Divorce statistics, and the numbers are frightening.

HaveNoName · Answer

On a legal note, in the societies where it holds, stop this nonsense human construct of making the woman take half your worth at time of divorce.

To think about happy marriages, we first need to define what is a happy marriage and what are rhe causes of divorces. What is discouraging people from getting married? Is there any price to pay for open fornication and animalistic lifestyle? Is there enough fear to pay that price?

Anonymous · Answer

Understand that a guy is not put on earth just to serve you. Understand that it's called a "partnership" for a reason. This is where a majority of women fail.

IceCreamSandwich · Answer

If the relationship isn't happy and successful, don't get married.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

Everyone deleting their social media and ditching their smartphones for the ones that only served one purpose, to call someone.

NathanDavis · Answer

focus on your own... instead of all others'

serious · Answer

No solutions to offer. I just they last forever, that's it.

Rangers · Answer

Make divorce illegal and require the husband and wife submit themselves unto God before the marriage is valid

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Don't marry your fucking high school crush after just 5 months of dating.

MrShaun · Answer

Return to traditional standards. And spend a long time dating.

Deserter · Answer

Divorce is initiated almost always by the woman cause it almost always benefits her. So change the laws so it doesn't.

rabbitzzz · Answer

It's not possible because girls are not attracted to monogamous men.

Anonymous · Answer

None. That's something each individual couple needs to work on for themselves.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Better matches. Don't just jump into a relationship with someone without thinking it through properly. And get counseling and wise advice from others.

loveslongnails · Answer

Don't do it! LOL Pieces of paper don't keep people together.

Iron_Man · Answer

The key is talking to your wife, heart to heart and take her out and do things be romantic

asianfreak · Answer

Not to impose religion of any sort, but to keep God as head of the marriage

Shy_Steve · Answer

Women lowering their Standards, But that's never gonna happen is it.

mathew1543 · Answer

Don't give up and be loyal

WowwGirl · Answer

Don't see divorce as a option

Sweetener_ · Answer

Put God first.

aaron210419 · Answer

Ban social media

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