If asked to sign a prenup, I'll say marriage is about trust. However, in general, when women say it is not about the money, is it about the money?

[Adaeva]

Updates

+1 y

A valid prenup must meet the following requirements:

Must be in writing – Oral agreements won’t hold up in court.
Must be signed by both spouses – Both parties must sign the final agreement.
Must have received complete information about other spouses’ property and finances.
Must have had at least seven days to review before signing:
Must have been represented by a separate attorney.

Updates

+1 y

There are three kinds of people:
1. The honest person that says, "I'm going to take your chips" and proceeds to do it.
2. The liar that says, "You can trust me, I will never take your chips." However, all the time he is planning to take your chips and proceeds to do it.
3. The good person, who says, "I will never take your chip" and means it. However, after a while he rationalizes that "Well, actually they're my chips because I deserve to have them" and proceeds to take your chips.

[WaterIsland]

The only time I believe prenups should be used are in cases with a massive wealth imbalance before the marriage. And not because of trust of your partner (you should trust them before getting married), but because of family and friends. There is almost always that one crazy uncle, or desperate sister, or greedy friend. So a prenup is protecting the entire relationship at that point by setting boundaries with those other family members and friends.


And that’s not saying you don’t trust your partner. It’s just taking realistic steps since you don’t necessarily trust all their family and friends.


I’m also not saying that your money and your partners money is their friends and family’s money, but when you have a GREAT amount of wealth, the argument of “it’s only a little bit of money” becomes a very compelling argument on the surface. But when you dig deeper, that argument doesn’t hold up. And crazy people will come out, and try to take advantage of your relationship in that case.


In short: only in VERY specific circumstances where there is a massive wealth imbalance going into the marriage, and only as a way to protect the relationship itself from others. Not as a way to protect yourself against your partner, and not as a sign of distrust of your partner.

[abc3643]

It's about the money and the trust.

Good for you!

NEVER sign a pre-nup!

In fact, the moment a man asks you to sign a pre-nup is the moment he is telling you that he doesn't love you. PERIOD. At that point, he should be immediately dumped because, not only doesn't he love you, he is incapable of love - at least until he gets his first real broken heart.

[Adaeva]

If asked, I going argue that marriage should be about trust; not money. And, I will resist as much as I can but in the end, I might.

[abc3643]

Excellent.
You may not be smart about people, but this one you've got right!
Stick to your guns on this!

[abc3643]

Do not ever sign a pre-nup.
You may not understand this yet - I only just began to when I got my first broken heart just before turning 19.
Being in love is a form of insanity.
The person you love is like the greatest person ever or could be in the history of the universe.
You will die to keep them alive... you don't even think about it.
Their welfare is always above your welfare.
And, if they genuinely love you, they don't demand pre-nups.
A pre-nup is insurance if they allegedly fall out of love with you. That can happen.
But, someone in love can't imagine that and still would rather put that other person above them. Thus, a pre-nup is unthinkable.
This is why I say someone demanding a pre-nup doesn't love you.

Trust me on this one. I've been feeling it in my bones for 43 years.

[Adaeva]

I believe it is highly unlikely that I would sign a prenup because I plan to marry when we are both under age 30 and me under age 25. Therefore, unless it is inherited, it is unlikely the guy will have more than $250,000 in assets. Since over time, that is not much money, I'm not going to agree to sign a prenup. If he was 20 years older and if that age difference wasn't completely unacceptable to me but it is; and if he had $10 million or more in assets, I can understand that a prenup might be a reasonable request. And, the same would apply if he was a young man and inherited that. much.

[marish01]

Not excluding divorce doesn't mean not loving the person.

[OlderAndWiser]

The requirements of

Must have had at least seven days to review before signing:
Must have been represented by a separate attorney.

may apply in your state but they do not apply in my state - Florida. Seven days doesn't apply at all. Separate attorneys is not an absolute requirement but helps to establish thhat your partner understood what they were signing.

[Pinay_ako]

It is about the money and the assets! Trust is irrelevant that’s why there’s a contract to be signed if things go haywire.

[big_ben_007]

Its so fascinating to me when anyone says "Its not about the money"

See, nobody taught me the value of money growing up. I learned it through experience and hard knocks. Cars cost money. Maintaining the car costs money. Houses cost money. Maintaining the house costs money. Getting married costs money. Medical insurance and saving money... Costs money. Even going on vacation costs money.

When someone says "Its not about the money" they are trying to say that something else is more important than money... But its still about the money. It always will be.

[misogynistic_pig]

A man who is aware of the legal reality of modern marriage and its potential financial consequences may feel that signing a prenup is a prudent way to protect himself.

Marriage is not an attractive option due to the financial and emotional risks associated with divorce and the division of assets.

As for the question about whether women say marriage is not about the money, but is actually about the money, this can vary from person to person.

Some women may be genuinely interested in a relationship based on love and trust, without worrying as much about the financial aspects.

However, others may be more focused on the financial resources that a potential spouse can offer.

It's important to remember that everyone is different, and you can't completely generalize about the motivations of any one gender.

[ElGato31]

I think prenup should be part of the marriage ceremony by law.

Trust has nothing to do with asking for it. You just don't know how a person changes in 10 years. You don't know and can't predict what will happen and naive to think that it is you who wouldn't get divorced. And if it's not about the money, then you can sign it

Just because you are so in love today, it doesn't mean you will be in love in 5, 10, 15 years later. Those marriages that last for a lifetime are in the past. 50% of the marriages end in divorce in the US. You wouldn't take a 50 % chance with parachutes either. It might open, it might not (Bill Burr)

[Exterminatore]

Here’s the bottom line. Pretty much no one is marrying anyone they don’t trust TODAY. Pretty much nobody is marrying anyone they don’t think will be trustworthy over the long haul.


However 50% of marriages or better end in divorce. No one knows for certain how things will be in the future or if they can be trusted in the future.


Hence the prenup is completely valid and they “you don’t trust me line” is complete BS.


These are simply the facts of life and no reason for anyone to not ensure they don’t get cleaned out in a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Honestly if we were a modern couple i would be ok with prenup, it would be a little weird ngl as it would imply that he doesn't trust me that I'm serious, but I would accept it.

If however we were traditional and only he worked I would not sign it, as if he cheats or anything later on and we break up I would be homeless. As he brings us both money, but we both work, me house chores, cooking and kids, but I don't get paid for work, so if anything would of happen that we break up I would get something for my share in the relationship.

[bamesjond0069]

Why would it imply he doesn't trust you? Why not just not get married? Or do you not trust him to take care of you?

[Opinion Owner]

Where I live I'm not even sure if prenups happen, my man never heard of it, I know it only because films. If he demanded prenup I would feel weird because it would show me he isn't serious (that he is expecting a divorce) and that he don't trust me.
As to why not just get married, because marriage never had prenups, that was started with rich people who married civilians.
I would trust him to be the sole provider and take care of me, but like I said we would still both work, the knly difference is that I wouldn't get paid, but have access to our money that he got. If we divorced I would like my share from my work in marriage. I also wouldn't want to be financially so dependant that I couldn't break up if it wouln't work in the long run. I don't want to be homeless.
These are just thought though, if we get married I believe we would both put effort into growing old together

[bamesjond0069]

"started with rich people who married civilians."

It generally started in response to more lenient divorce laws.

Men generally would be fine to marry a woman if divorce was illegal. This is the default state of marriage from history. Only a man could elect to divorce if his wife cheated and only a wife could divorce if the husband ran away and left everything behind abandoning her. This is the general way it used to work in most places.

Then women said well what if he cheats? What if I just don't like him? What if what if. So the laws generally are that anyone can divorce for any time.

So in response to this, men started getting prenuptial.

Then women started saying prenuptial are unfair and judges have made ways to discard many of them.

Now men just say fuck this shit and marriage rates are very low.

So no. Women already said they don't want to be responsible for a lifelong commitment. That has already happened. So it's only logical to get a prenup. It's not men just wanting a prenup to get one and screw you over, it's in response to what women have already done to screw men over.

But as I said a few more moves have happened since then.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, thank for history lesson on prenups. My opinion is the same. Also can't talk for other women but in my case I wouldn't marry if I didn't want to spend life together, I'm talking about a possibility that simething can happen, not that it will. And yes if your husband cheats you won't be his wife. Not all women are evil like not all men are. Take your rant about poor men elsewhere. If either one wants a prenup in traditional relationship they don't trust each other.

[bamesjond0069]

There is no such thing as traditional marriage. Legally you can divorce. Therefore there is no such thing as a traditional marriage.

[Anonymous]

In theory marriage should be about trust. Most people would never marry someone they don't trust. But the problem is you can never know whether your partner will change and justify in her mind divorcing you and taking more than she deserves. It happens all the time. Half of marriages today end in divorce, women initiate 80% of divorces, and it's no secret that men get screwed in divorce court and child custody settlements.

Marriage is a bad idea for most men today, but if a man is going to do it anyway, he should absolutely make her sign a prenup.

[LiamJHayden]

Marriage might be intended to be about trust, but that promise could mean nothing ten or twelve years later when the couple hates each other.

Or more bluntly, I have never met and likely never will meet anyone whom I trust enough to risk half of everything I own and will earn in the future based upon a mere promise.

[NamerOfStars]

Fundamentally, and depressingly, yes- if you trust each other, it shouldn't matter. But if you trust each other, it shouldn't matter.

When a friend gets into your car and puts on their seat belt, you don't take that as an indictment of your driving skills.

[RealMarek]

After going through the family court system when divorcing an abusive spouse, I wish I had asked for a pre-nup. It’s a chance for setting rules for divorce that both parties conset to instead of getting into costly legal battles letting judges with an incredible degree of discretion make those decisions for you.

[Anonymous]

When women say it is not about the money, it totally is about the money!

Think like the imposters do in Among Us.

Don't be like those, who got divorced and then sent back to poverty and depression. Don't forget, that there's a 50% likelihood. Wanna take this gamble? I don't.

[Leopard23]

Thing sbout prenups is that unless the guy has serious money or assests it don't matter. End of the day he will still be on the hook for alimony and child support

[Fuentes]

It's all about money, prenuptial agreement or no marriage and we will be married in a state that upholds such agreements. Also we will never share a bank acc. Their is no reason why you can't use a credit card & a debit card from ur own bank I cam easily transfer money into in this new day of technology.

But I'm not a simp I WILL actually tell you this In the beginning so you won't feel blind sided in the future.

[Adaeva]

Fair enough

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Many marriages end in divorce. Having a prenup can make a very complicated divorce process easier. Faster it ends the better. Someone that refuses to sign one may show that they're only in it for the money, especially after a good turn around in the other person's favor, like a six figure job. After a messy divorce, it took my friend many years to recover financially after his former wife refused to sign one and cheated on him. However, many of those get thrown out of court, too.

[imfreeze95]

100% it’s about the money but not just that it’s every physical asset you bring to the marriage cars, pets, the house, precious metals


I don’t care how much I love someone I’m getting a prenup.

[jshm2]

Actually, most prenups aren't worth the paper they are written on.

Also, the "purpose" of the pre-nup is to protect the higher earner against certain claims -but not all claims.

[Jay3344]

I’d say a prenup is more protection against a skewed justice system and lawyers trying to benefit off broken hearts. People shouldn’t be so adverse to wanting to protect themselves.

[Anonymous]

Women have the power to destroy a man's life in divorce, and thousands of them do exactly that every day across the US.

A prenup is just a tool to keep things fair. Any women who sees the world around her as it is should have no issue with a man requiring a prenup. If she does, it's a huge red flag.

Any man who gets married today without a prenup is a fool.

[cth96190]

Were I to form a relationship with a female again (unlikely) she would find that all my assets and incomes belonged to a trust.
They cannot be touched.
Good luck in the Family Court. 🤣

[bamesjond0069]

What kind of trust? I need to set something up like this sooner than later for various reasons.

[Jdjfjcjj]

It may not be about it at the time. That doesn't change the fact that those feelings may not change later

[AnusNdaPainus]

Rich or poor it’s always best to protect your assets and not put all your eggs in one basket

[sheikalana]

True marriage is about trust. But if you wear a seatbelt why do you need insurance? Same same.

[ElGato31]

You can still have an accident with seatbelt on, you will need insurance to pay to fix the car and/or the other car. You don't go around thinking about accidents but they do happen whether you want it or not.

[sheikalana]

@ElGato31 Exactly. That's what prenups are for as well. No one gets married thinking they will get divorced but in case it happens is best for both parties to have an agreement.

[genericname85]

i'd say: well if you don't plan on betraying me, then signing the prenup isn't a problem right?

[bamesjond0069]

Prenups are too little too late. There are reasons why most men with options are not getting married. Only simpletons are getting married these days.

[Heterosketero]

Do youbsign a kease for residence? There is your answer.

[Anonymous]

This is why you don’t marry these simpletons that don’t deserve to sleep with you 🤡 get another man that won’t disrespect like this

[Juxtapose]

I don't believe in marriage to begin with but if I was going to get involved with that then a prenup would be a bare minimum.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is about security. That includes money but even more so loyalty and trust.

[weysally]

most of the time,

[Ms_Facesitter]

Does that mean you wouldn't sign it?

[Adaeva]

No! It only means I wouldn't want to sign it and would make the argument against signing it in an attempt to avoid signing it. However, if all my arguments failed, and he was a high value man with considerable assets, in the end, I would probably sign it.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I see it as insurance for your house, or pets for example, or your car. You don't want your house to catch on fire, but you put it just in case. No ill will.

[ThomasDavid1989]

Always. Money rules the world