If you were/are married, would/do your friends come first before your spouse?

Question

Potteplante · Accepted Answer

The man I was going to marry was one of the best friends I've had. My life will always be a priority to me - that would include the indivual I'm choosing to share that life with. However, my friends are a part of my life and I will make them my priority when needed - because that is the thing with priorities, they can change depending on situation/context.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Friends already dont even place in top 10 lmao so definitely not when im married

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

Curiously enough, many of my "friends" disappeared after i got married. I didn't hang out and help them as often so they found someone else to latch onto.

You'll find as you mature in life, the number of real friends can be counted on one hand.

LiamJHayden · Accepted Answer

If one is married and the friends come first, that person's priorities are amiss.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

My husband would come first BUT I state this very clearly to people I'm with, they should not be making false reasons for me to choose them over family or friends.

I understand when there is a legitimate reason to choose him over others but I've been with guys before that are insecure and keep making up reasons to try and force me to choose him over my family or friends.

I'm not with those guys because of that... like the whole question of, if your house is on fire and you can only save your spouse or your child, who do you save?

Well that isn't a realistic scenario to plan in advance, I refuse to answer it until my house is on fire.

Those guys I am not with anymore, would be fine with me staying home bored, ignoring me while they play games online and stuff but soon as I planned to go visit family or hang with friends suddenly they NEEDED me... to prevent me from going.

If I stayed, then I was ignored again and if I left I was accused of choosing others over him.

No one should be making up reasons to force someone to choose.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Spouse would come first.

Why can I say this so confidently? I’ve purposely kept friendships at a certain category, so whatever I give in a relationship would be double or even triple the efforts/focus/attention and etc.

Meaning irl, any friends I ever had, I would hang out with very rarely. They were not dependent on me and vice versa, but somewhere in between acquaintances and friends.

I decided way back in high school to close my friendships, so I could devote more time to family (my tribe), work (helping people in any way, shape, or form), and devote the rest to self and my mate for life. He’s supposed to be my Co-alpha and that means we lean on each other and not lean on so manyyy different factors.

We would have our “community,” but we’d really just be for each other in every possible capacity. Thus I’d prioritize my mate over any “friends.”

Anonymous · Answer

The person you marry should be your best friend essentially. If I get married to a young woman I am not looking at her simply as she will take the position of a female to have children, cook/clean for me and that's it. I look at her as someone much more than that. My guy friends now, are married, or in long term relationships. They don't drop a text message to say, "hey what's up", or "how's it going". Meanwhile I was there for them for yearssss, sending funny memes, making them laugh, planning to meet up to eat out or play basketball. I'm tired of it the way my guy "friends" acted. I understand life gets busy but my life is busy as well. It doesn't take long to text someone for 15-30 minutes to see how people are, especially if you've known them for years.

But unfortunately, the so-called "friends", will only care if they hear you passed away one. Then those same individuals will reflect for a few minutes and say, "oh I should have met up when they asked" then a few days or few weeks later they won't care again. True friends will understand, they will be there for you when you are down, they will understand that you are busy. But friends come and go all the time, they move away to different cities, states, provinces, even countries. Your spouse should be your best friend. For me, my wife would be my best friend, my kids, family, having a few guys who make strengthen my religious spirituality and playing with guys I see weekly to play basketball at the local YMCA is good enough for me. Even with work, I try to get along with everyone at work but there's a saying that your work colleagues aren't really your friends and you should be careful what you say to others at work, I agree with this. That's my two cents on it.

TenderFantasy · Answer

No of course not. I have a responsibility to my partner and I made VOWS which through my good virtue, I do take very seriously. If I didn't love them or wasn't committed to them, why was I married to them in the first place. Your friends have their own lives, own husbands, spouses, etc. I am sure if the tables were switched they'd do the same thing. It's all about priorities. Now, I would say that it also depends. You DO have to have time for your girlfriends and best buds, yada yada, but if you are a wife, one should have the honor of taking the role SERIOUSLY and being a responsible person! It's just the right thing to do!

TheBootyChest · Answer

Not necessarily. But I would make it 51/49. I would always let my friends know they can count on me, but if I can't I will always make it up to them if I have to be with my wife.

This is a huge thing for me, because right now I feel like all my friends won't go out of their way for me unless it's like their SO is out of town for a while.

godfatherfan · Answer

If you are married, your spouse comes before anyone. She / He is on the same level as kids, they come first, then parents/siblings, then rest of family, then friends a very distant after all that.

For me, if I am dating, family first, then her, then friends. Friends are always the last of the bunch.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Your marriage comes first. If your friends think your friends should come first then they need to grow up.

Orion76 · Answer

No friends for married people, bad idea, Very bad.  Go ahead and laugh, but married folks can you honestly tell me you never had a feeling that your spouses friend is bad news.

Boomchakalaca · Answer

Friends come and go, however, marriages have a contract and ur technically married til death ❤️ that is why I would choose my spouse over my friends.

FifiJones · Answer

Certainly not. Considering most my friends are of opposite gender, that make it seem I prefer them.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

No. But the friends have their space in my life and so would my spouse. I'm not interested in a partner who doesn't want me to make him my social life.

BCRanger10 · Answer

We weren't best friends or anything. We were, I guess, "pals" if you will.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I love my friends, but no, not even close.

Anonymous · Answer

am i married to my friends? can i build a life with a friend? no. marriage always will come first. that is your person.

David4358 · Answer

nope when you get married your family should come first, it doesn't always end up that way but thats what both people should strive for

Mangospacho · Answer

Nobody comes before the spouse. That’s why they’re your spouse and not your friend.

marish01 · Answer

No. Spouse matters the most. I wouldn't even need friends if I had a hubby.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Spouse should always come first in that scenario.

cuteheart48 · Answer

Friends can never come before my spouse if I am married.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

That's asinine. When you are married you are FAMILY, and family always comes first. No duh.

Anonymous · Answer

They better not, or you won't be married very long.

EmmaMary · Answer

No, absolutely not.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Not even if I had friends

EclipsedMoonlight · Answer

Marriage first and foremost.

XXblack88 · Answer

No that doesn't make sense.

worldscolide · Answer

My wife comes firs always.

Akam93 · Answer

Well I dont have friends. So no.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

NO. My wife comes first!

HaveNoName · Answer

No, not by any measure.

Nominal · Answer

No, but it can change. Very quickly.

Billybob46 · Answer

Spouse always comes first.

GeceMuhafızı06 · Answer

nothing like this can happen

Anonymous · Answer

Yes that is weird, wify should be the priority.

Evagurl · Answer

Not at all

If you were/are married, would/do your friends come first before your spouse?

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