Who should be older than whom in marriage?

[Elozaa]

[Robbey]

Unless there’s extenuating circumstances of some sort, it doesn’t really matter.

My first husband was 5.5 years older and I was 20 when we married. My second husband is 11.5 years younger and I was 44 when we married. The age difference was never an issue at all in my first marriage. It’s not an issue at all for us in my second marriage, but it occasionally gets a raised eyebrow or less often a snarky comment. It’s a different dynamic, but it’s a much happier marriage.

[Apple1996]

I don't think it matters but out of all my friends and family that are younger (like modern couples) and are married. The woman is the older one in the relationships including my own. Seems like the man being older is a thing of the past or those relationships fail more often. Just what I've noticed in my circle of friends/family.

[Adam1978]

It doesn't matter if both marry young, but if you go older it should be the man. Because the woman has the biological clock that will timeout and make her unsuitable for family/marriage.

[Twalli]

Only if you want to reproduce

[Adam1978]

If you don't marriage is pointless it just give the other a way to backstab you and get away with it.

[Twalli]

That's because people choose shitty partners. Two of my aunts and uncles have been married for over 35 years and never even tried to reproduce. They were happy not having kids. Funnily enough the siblings of my mothers side of the family that reproduced were all doctors.

[Adam1978]

They would have been fine without the marriage. So just because they didn't screw it up doesn't mean marriage did something for them.

[Twalli]

Marriage has a legal component. If we get the law out of marriage then I am fine with your argument

[Adam1978]

Remove the law and you prevent some shitty people from screwing other over, but doesn't still add any value. Compared to cohabiting.

[Twalli]

Remove the law and cohabitation has the same benefits as marriage. I am pretty sure my girlfriend won't acrew me over because she wanted to marry me when I had no money.

[Adam1978]

You can still get some and she can change her mind. It's hard enough to judge a person as it is but trying to judge a person many years into the future is unreasonable. So the laws must change.

[Twalli]

Oh, I have a decent paying job now. Yet she dated me whe I was a broke college student and then a broke online medical billing and coding student (because COVID-19 stopped my interviews).

[clampfan101]

I don’t think it should matter. I’m fine with my wife being younger or older as long as her age is close to mine. (I’m also fine with her being shorter or taller.)

[EmmaMary]

Personally I feel the man (my husband) should be.

However age is just number, so live and let live.

[YesterdaysChild]

Women age faster than men after 50, so I think the man should be older. You don't want to wind up having your wife look older than you at that age.

[SoJust]

age doesn't matter much, I think age is just a number, but if it's going to be old, I think it should be a woman

[Nikki1989]

For me, the man should be.

[LiamJHayden]

As long as they are both adults freely choosing to do so, I do not care.

[comekitty]

I don't think it matters 😊

[DJB72]

Ideally you should be older than the children

[SawerBrown]

I don't think it really matters.

[Wise4myage]

The guy should be older.

[rosemilk]

literally doesn't matter...

[rosemilk]

also. you can't pick who you love. god forbid a woman is older than the man by a few years, yet they still love each other unconditionally. is that really a deal breaker? seems like nonsense.

[DextroShade]

The man should always be older.

[RHK36]

It doesn't matter

[Kelly6]

men, husband

[Twalli]

Doesn't matter

[call_me_scar]

It hardly matters