My brother is getting married and we aren't happy with the venue. What can we do?

[Anonymous]

My brother is getting married and they have chosen the first venue they looked at. We have tried to get them to look at other venues but they won't listen.

The venue they have chosen is a marqui on a farm. With the weather we get here i don't think it well be a great idea. They aren't getting much for what they are paying and other venues they will get more for what they are paying.

It nearly turns into an argument everytime this is mentioned. We begged them to look at other vebues. We even mentioned some that will do what they are looking for.

[Anonymous]

Rather than talking to him then maybe you should approach his wife. He’s most likely adamant about the location because she loves it, but she may not realize the strain it puts on his side of the family and it’s possible he isn’t even properly expressing it to her. If you have already tried that or just aren’t comfortable going to her directly then you have to let it go. I understand that the venue isn’t ideal nor does it accommodate all your family but what can you do? It isn’t about anyone else but him and his wife on their special day, and either they can figure out ways to accommodate family, or those family members miss it.


I’m sure he’s aware of this and is still choosing to go forward with the plan, and that’s because his priority now is his wife’s happiness, not your families. This is a change you’ll have to get used to going forward. Your brother is probably very catering, mindful, and available to your family, so this shift will take some getting used to.

[Asker]

Our grandparents can't attend. He doesn't care as long as they get that venue

[Opinion Owner]

Personally I think that’s messed up, but you guys can’t make him care about it. It’s about him and his wife that day. I’m sure at your own wedding you’ll never let that happen and I think that is a great characteristic.

[Opinion Owner]

My sister did similar 4 years ago. Chose this wooded area that wasn’t accessible for family in wheelchairs but she wanted that Twilight wedding scene too much. So family who couldn’t attend had to watch via zoom. My parents and I hated it but it’s not our choice.

[NuitBlanche]

I find it selfish. It's not your wedding or anyone else's but it's your brother's wedding! Let him decide. Who has the right to badmouth his decision? You should make him happy and celebrate with him instead of criticizing him. That is selfish and rude.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Unless you are paying for the venue, why are you guys caring so much? Yes I understand you have family who are in wheelchairs. At the end of the day, if they are paying for their own wedding. It's their choice where they want to get married.

[Asker]

The venue they are looking at is charging them loads of money and they are trying to get a house. They are getting barely anything at this venue. They were told if they don't make up the number they will still be charged full price. So if they don't get 80 they will be charged for 80 people

[NotInterestedSorry]

At the end of the day. It is their wedding and their money.

[Advicewingtwim]

What a terrible family I feel bad for him. Mind your own damn business it’s not YOUR wedding. He is a grown adult and can do what he pleases. Making something like this YOUR problem is PATHETIC. Families that stick their damn noses where it doesn’t belong is sickening. This is how people resent their family members and go to the grave 60 years later never getting over it. Seriously , he decides and you just shown up and make the most of it. When you eventually get married you can then do what you choose and he happily support you without being a little brat

[Astarlessnightsky]

Its brothers and his wifes wedding, the bride and groom choose everything how they want it.

You might help, but only when asked.

So enjoy your brothers wedding and let him be happy.

[slatyb]

You told. He heard you. Let it go. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

[ProbablyClueless]

The reason this is turning into an argument is because this decision is not your's to make.

It's their wedding, no one else's.

[KatherineJ]

Nothing. While you might be trying to help, you need to remember that it’s their wedding-not yours.

[gothbxtch]

i’m sorry but it isn’t your wedding venue to pick

[In_Trance]

why do you need to do anything? It's not your Wedding

[Asker]

We have relatives who have certain requirments, this place doesn't cater for them. We mentioned this and my brother won't listen

[In_Trance]

It's not their wedding either. It's not about what everyone else wants or needs. It's about the bride and groom

[Asker]

We have family in wheelchairs who were invited but can't go because they can't there is no wheelchair access at the venue

[In_Trance]

Not your Wedding. Not your problem

[Anonymous]

It’s his wedding right? So accept his decision.

[jahaims]

It's not about you

[riverrat3]

It is their wedding