Did/do you feel obligated to invite all of your extended family to your wedding?

Question

My mom and grandma always felt it was a MUST to invite everyone, extended family, friends, coworkers, favorite teachers, and even the people they dislike. Like whattafuq?  😂 I don’t give a damn about those folks. That would’ve been at least 160 fam members and about 200 people total if the friends/coworkers were included. A lot of my fam went through with it too. They had huge church weddings and receptions. I’d be having my dream wedding and that means leaving behind folks I can’t stand so that would narrow my list to less than 20 people. #FeelFreeToList

Lliam · Accepted Answer

My wife and I got married twice. LOL
The first time was in Cincinnati where she has a huge family. They obtained a really nice venue and provided the food, drink, decorations and entertainment for the reception. It was really fun.
Some of her old friends attended, too.
It was a full, formal, Catholic wedding for her parent's benefit. And my wife got to be the beautiful princess in a white wedding dress. It was special for her.
The only thing we had to pay for was the priest.

Afterwards, we went on a two week honeymoon to New England in the fall.

A month after our first wedding, we got married again in California where we lived. This time, our friends provided a wonderful venue, decorations, amazing food and refreshments.
A lay minister friend of my wife's officiated. My wife and I paid her. We also bought the cake and paid a really good saxophonist to provide the music.
My mom, dad, sister and nice were there, along with our friends.

But nobody who wasn't welcome was invited.

Jaximus-Lion · Accepted Answer

When i and the my wife were planing for our wedding back in 2012, my parents gave me a list of 300+ of guests (It's a tradition where we are from to have massive numbers of guests) but i told them it's my wedding and they have to step back and i forced them to and they weren't happy about it and they didn't even talk to me for a whole week. I took a way all the names i don't know which left me with barley of 100 people and the wife had like 80+ people, with some common friends and last minute changes, we had a total of 208 guests. That is considered ''VERY SMALL'' wedding in my culture.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I was not invited to any of the weddings. One family was very very close to our family but their wedding was in another country and they did not want to burden us with the obligation to fly thousands of miles to attend. Another respected and liked us but did not want to burden us by making us fly all the way to another country for the wedding and another group used their wedding as a networking opportunity for meeting wealthy professionals and did not want us there because we were not as wealthy as the surgeons and bankers she invited to her wedding. And another guy did not invite us to the wedding cause he is too stingy even to buy his dad a cup of coffee and he thought we would not donate as generously as the other guests he invited. His wedding got canceled weeks before it's scheduled date because his fiancé revealed an unhappy secret to him he previously did not know. They won't say their reasons for cancelling but I believe she had a child in another country because she was speaking very sweetly to a male over the phone during the Christmas party I met her at and its not normal for an engaged woman to have a close male friend.

AviatorTom · Answer

It was many years ago. Yes, we invited our aunts, uncles and cousins to the wedding.

AdithyaR · Answer

It's a pretty common thing in India. And it's annoying as hell.
I've attended a couple of my cousin's weddings and there'll be some extended relative I haven't seen in over 10 years and they'll get offended when I don't recognise. Like my guy, the last I probably saw you was when I was 5, and that is if I ever actually saw you.
Plus it can cost the wedding cost to skyrocket since it's extended family from both the bride's and the groom's side.

ariadneR · Answer

I said this before. So even though I live in Canada, my partner lives in the US. So when we get married it'll be in the US, and then my 8 immediate family will come. (My youngest brother, his partner, their son and my younger brother, his partner their 2 daughters and my dad) I don't feel the need to invite my dad's sisters, that he's git here or my cousins. They don't give a flying fuck about me. I may invite my brothers best friends and their family cause they are cool as fuck. Even my brothers in laws.

The family I really want to attend live in the UK, so if we fly over at a later date, rent a hall and have catering with all my family in the UK, then I'd be happy.

Rab1901 · Answer

Absolutely not! I have a cousin off the top of my head that I definitely don't want to come to my wedding, and I definitely don't want to go to his either. I have had appreciation for my family ever since I was little, but being blood related does not necessarily equal someone I consider family.

electromagnetic · Answer

Nope.
My wedding is gonna be 7 people tops.
My partner and I, our 2 each witnesses and the person to officialize our marriage.

I’m not having no party, no bridal thingy nada. Saving our moneys to go around the world for 6 months. I will have a wedding registry though cause I want free things 😆

NathanDavis · Answer

I would not feel obligated nor pressured, no...

but yes, I would feel it's expected and yes... my extended family would want to be there, lmao

and yeah, chances are that the wedding and after-party could easily have over 200 people, and perhaps up to 500, lol (counting both families)

LostandFound__x · Answer

This is something I think about a lot. I have a lot of resentment towards my extended family and inviting them will basically ruin the vibe of my future special day. I also don’t think it’s fair to call them my family and introduce them like that on my wedding day when they have done nothing good to me, nor been there for me.

Simslover92 · Answer

Nope. I'm an extreme introvert/shy af and don't keep up with my extended family nor do I really want to invite all of them. Maybe a few close aunts and cousins I'll invite but other than that, not really a big fan of having a super big wedding and my mom and grandmother knows that about me so they won't push it. To be honest, I'm not sure if we will be able to afford a big wedding anyways. And that's if I even get married. I'm not sure if marriage is in the cards for me atm.

Anpu23 · Answer

When we got married the first time, every family member showed up including distant ones who were not invited. My step mother brought her sister who was not invited, so she could get wedding ideas. Too bad our aesthetics weren't to her taste.

When we remarried only our 3 kids were there.

exitseven · Answer

I had a small wedding and I invited maybe 25 people. Between my aunts and uncles nd cousins there was about 20 of them and i invited a couple of people from work and some of my friends. I did not invite any of my friends from college because it I invited one I would have to invite them all. I explained this to my closest friends and they understood. The only exception I made was that I had a cousin who was living in Sweden and he happened to be in town so I invited him.

kellytheman · Answer

Yeah if I got married it be mostly immediate family like parents and sibling and maybe grandparents. I only have one neiva so she might come too. I probably wouldn’t invite cousins, aunts, and uncles. No coworkers and friends maybe are best friend.

Mark987 · Answer

1000% yes. Especially being from two separate cultures lol. I am older now so I can pretty much get what I want. If I got married younger it would have been 400+ people, some who I have never met, just because they're part of the Indian community etc.

Christoff92 · Answer

Yeh. Because can't stand my extended family's. Everytime I saw them. They would act like a bunch of comedians. When if I see their kids. Can really laugh my ass out. But I choose not to.

My extended family's are a bunch of snobs and bias jerks. Just to let you know 😀

KatherineJ · Answer

Let’s put it this way. If I would have had my way, my wedding would have been in the back yard with 40 (or so) people, and just had burgers and hotdogs. Unfortunately, because my husband and I were not the only ones with input, we had over 200, and got married in church, then had the large reception in a different location.

TrillXHippy · Answer

No I don’t feel obligated. I have so many cousins I have 80+. My cousins alone is too much. I have aunts and uncles. I’m only going to invite my aunts (my grandmother’s kids). I’d invite my uncle which is her son but he was murdered when I graduated from high school. I have 9 siblings and I never met one of them before. Then there’s my mother’s side of the family. Yeah I think not

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

For my own anxiety I prefer a small wedding.. And then it also depends to if the marriage is deemed honorable (local thing) as to if I invite because some won't come anyway

Phoenix98 · Answer

Lmao I don't even know how big my family is to be honest. I know of the family members I know actually exist and who I'm aware of it'd be 50 or less people. Now family members I don't know that's any ones guess.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well my wedding invitation had quite a few conditions n very strict ones so it was really upto them... i knew the ones i want filtered will be filtered with those conditions hehe

My conditions were pretty steamy

mstbooblover · Answer

No, we did not feel at all obligated to invite anyone. We still had a very few friends being also the witnesses of our wedding. The truth is we did not want family around us.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Not at that stage yet... I think if I were to marry it would be small. I dunno I just can't be bothered, there's extended family that doesn't bother with me despite making an effort for years

strateguy632 · Answer

depends what is extended, one layer yes. uncle aunt cousin but not second cousins unless they asked.

AlexEfron · Answer

I'm Indian 🤣. You'll see 200-300 people from from the groom's side and an equal number for the bride. (This is for SMALL weddings. Can't afford anything too extravagant, just a mediocre wedding where guests are invited and everyone has fun)

Anonymous · Answer

absolutely not happening. since i'll probably be having a backyard wedding because they cost way too much. and my partners big family way overshadows my small family.

RavVid · Answer

20 or less is a good number I'd say. Would you recognize all of the 200 people if you walked past them in the street? Sensible attitude.

Sparkie460 · Answer

We didn't have anyone at our wedding. We got married by the justice of the peace. You invite whoever you feel comfortable having and who you can afford to pay for

Gramkabir · Answer

This is basically a tradition in our region to invite all of your relatives/extended families. The number of guestlists increases by 400-1000 in a single wedding night combining both sides.

So this is very common in South Asian region.

the_sinner · Answer

I wish I could organise my wedding with very few chosen members but in my community throwing a pompous party is mandatory even if you have to take a loan for the same. I’d feel obligated to invite many extended members for sure.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

This speech comes to mind… 😬

talka20 · Answer

Thats exactly the culture here... and some things are just "supposed" to happen like this one... so it is what it is tbh can't really do much

NotInterestedSorry · Answer

If I were to ever get married. None of my family except my daughter would be invited.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

My parents, their parents, friends and that's enough for me!

TheNurse · Answer

No. I invited my close family only. No cousins or long lost aunts and uncles

HaveNoName · Answer

That is how it goes in our culture. Not just extended family but also extended families of extended family who we are in touch with.

ColHathi · Answer

Absolutely not xD I'm getting dizzy just thinking about the cost and logistics of catering to hundreds of people 😣

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Not obligated but I would like to. Haven't seen much of aunts and cousins in past few years. Would be good to get them all together

DJB72 · Answer

Not these days. I'd rather have a few close friends there

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No, not obligated. I just WANT to invite them! I love my extended family dearly. They mean a lot to me. Most of them have been way kinder to me than my immediate family has.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I have no family, extended or otherwise. I guess this is one hidden blessing of being the only child of two only children.

worldscolide · Answer

No thank God. Even with my mother, people had orders to have her arrested if she showed up.

annabananna · Answer

No, I got married in Hawaii so it was pretty small.

Raaj4you · Answer

I am not inviting anyone. Only my parents will attend the wedding. My future girlfriend can invite anyone if she wants to.

Dantezam · Answer

I think the only people who attend to a wedding are the closest, people you who have a special bond with

dolemite58 · Answer

i’m not married so no and i hated go to my siblings weddings, what a waste of a Saturday 🤣

Anonymous · Answer

Probably not. My dad’s side of the family is fake. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Tim-loves-it · Answer

Yes but i know they cannot make it, if i had another one

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, we had no family to invite.

TrueConfection · Answer

Yes and that's why I eloped instead.

sheikalana · Answer

Absolutely f*cking not and I won't.

loveslongnails · Answer

I wouldn't if I had a wedding.

nawtee_me · Answer

nope, I invited immediate family only...

Abdulwahh · Answer

No i dont only immediates

justabuddy · Answer

No... just the close ones.

Reem12345reem · Answer

no fuck them

Emmy87 · Answer

Yes I do

Anonymous · Answer

No my family hate me

Did/do you feel obligated to invite all of your extended family to your wedding?

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Would it be offensive to you if people you invited to your wedding, do not invite you to theirs?

Did/do you feel obligated to invite all of your extended family to your wedding?

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