What is the ideal type of marriage? Should marriage be logical or emotional?

[gayesblog]

Which one do you follow when choosing your spouse, your heart or your logic?

[DaveJord]

I will tell you this, and this is just my personal belief I have no numbers or studies to quote. I think women on average are more driven by emotions, and men are less driven by emotions. But on some level men and woman both use some degree of logic in order to problem solve together, and time this means setting some emotions aside for the time being.

Whenever we talk about marriage, no matter how long or short you a have been married or even if you are just thinking about marriage... all marriage really is one big exercise in problem solving. Because there will definitely be problems, and you and him will have to come together in a logical way to solve real problems together.

So, it's not like you need one more than the other, because it requires both... and the more you two are on the same level emotionally and logically the more successful your marriage will be.

So, for me, think of the emotions as the why and the logic as the how.

Why should you put out all this effort for this person... the why is love, compassion, friendship, loyalty... the why is all those emotions that motivate you and compel you to want to be with this person.

The emotions are what makes the logic of being with person and putting out his degree of effort logical. Because without the love and sense of compassion none of it makes any logical sense.

So, once you build up that emotional bound and foundation, then you have to be able to logically set aside things like anger and frustration... because when love someone so much, we can take the adversity that will come into ever marriage too personal, and if we cannot logically mitigate or manage our own emotions things can slip sideways was too much and way to fast.

So, the emotion is why we love, and the logic is how we show that love and deal with adversity in order to solve problems and strengthen bonds.

[SPIRIT208]

It should be permanent, no divorce sht. It should be true and biblical

[jennifer_bloom]

I’ve never been married but I want a guy that is easy going and generous and willing to outsource difficult things to others. My dad knows somebody who died doing house repairs on his roof cause he was stingy and did not want to spend money on a professional handyman. I also know somebody who hit his wife for taking a nap on the couch during a party at our house when she was sleep deprived the day she visited our home with her kids. So easy going and non confrontational is very important to me.

[Simslover92]

Both is needed to have the ideal marriage. You just can't go in without having the other. You need both logic and your heart.

[CalmUntilAbused]

I'd follow both, but logic would definitely be the most important factor.

If I were to marry a woman I like only to turn out not to be ready to support Her and our family, the marriage would end up being a disaster no matter my positive emotions. Logic is first, but some positive emotions must be present, unless I wished to wage a war against my own wife (and that's never a good idea, not even in the true, traditional, purely Catholic marriage).

[Vesuvius87]

Both are needed but it should be more logical than emotional. What's the use of just marrying someone base on only attraction and feelings if you haven't even vet the person and don't even share compatible goals nor values, ideals, etc.

[thegreenyogi]

Honestly in today's day and age I think marriage should be equal proportions of both of these things.

[Jazzy54]

If you go on emotion alone, your marriage is doomed. One of them has to be levelheaded and rational.

[LiamJHayden]

Some level of logic should be applied. Too many people get married based solely upon emotion, and when the emotions wane they end up divorced.

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. Anyone can be on cloud 9, deeply infatuated (the falling in love stage) but few actually commit for life and can be there in hardships when those emotions wane.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If you live your life having to pick one or the other, you're doing it wrong.

Its logical to do what makes you happy.

[kevypatyy7]

It's supposed to emotional but nowadays people just misunderstand everything relates to marriage

[Wonderingguyy]

I follow my heart and my logic. I feel like the two are tied together haha

[Unit1]

The ideal type of marriage is one, that never existed 😁

[midnightmoon05]

I use to think that way from 2011-2016…my marriage/family broken and my ex. husband closed my bank account. He gave me the car…it got stolen few months later…and much more. So had to start over and marriage was a dark empty pit that I was in for years…or what’s the meaning of life when everything was so empty…it was a long struggle to limb out that dark hole. I had to change my way of thinking. Still it was another 3-4 years of struggle before we got to a better place.
So I started out with nothing with my family coming to the USA. Became successful, with jobs, family, husband, kids, house, cars…etc. to nothing again.
Then another eight yrs…from nothing again to where we are.
I contribute to my positive mindset and being able to adapt, change and making the right choices to where we are.
By this age…I can say…it was how my brain works that help me get here…(my hubby told me) that he has never seen/met a woman who thinks like me.
Many may have been bitter, angry, depressed…I did not allow any of that consume me…I struggled…. But never allow life to keep me in one place.
Marriage is what I have put in…first one didn’t work out even though I put in my all.
My second is working out… I learned from my mistakes. I still put in my all! 😂

Tomorrow - Get a new outfit, get a new haircut…make some changes…go to a new place…try something new. Take some before and after pictures…give yourself a big smile…the new you.

[Unit1]

@midnightmoon05 So marriage screws over women too. Why are people getting married still?
This sounds like an awful lot of shit for basically nothing. And then years to crawl out of poverty? Once was too much for me. I'm not in the mindful state to go through all that no matter how big the risk.

[midnightmoon05]

My ex. Husband said the same when he was angry at me. That he will never get married again. Funny… he met a few women who were not ideal… till he met his current. He got married few months after me.
Life is always a challenge…with anything that comes my way… I have to learn to handle it in a positive way. Indeed I was in an awful place for some years…there were times I think what’s the point of living.
Yes, we all get screw some ways. But I pick myself up and charge forward … life is not over as long as I have one breath and my job is to do the best for the kids and my family.
I encouraged him to be married. (He was never married) so that he can have a better life. He was screwed by his old job, he was screwed by some women for years (if you read his last MyTake), he was screened by society with no retirement, no healthy care as he gets older. With no one on his side to care for him.
Being married to me, he can have all my benefits. All my family support. On my end, he is a good hearted man, kind and he is great to me. Life is so much better to have him as my partner in crime.
Marriage/families is a good thing. Humans have screw up the whole system. I did not allow the court system to fuck me over. Indeed, I got no alimony, I also do not have child support. He makes double more than me 😂… in face a lot more… but he has no idea how to budget…. I am teaching my kids finance at home. Lightbulb is very knowledgeable and we do really well raising these kids. (He is just not a good decision maker) 😂

It’s not marriage, it how I perceive life! I went beyond the system, I went beyond the society, I went against the norm. I will take this to my next generation and next generation so that my family will always be above the system and above the society! Even when I came from nothing.

[Unit1]

@midnightmoon05 With all due respect.
I have seen what marriage does to those involved in it. Absolutely Yikes! There is no way they are having sex.
I have heard some say "never get married" to me, a single and unmarried person. They were married or divorced.

I don't have the resources to go through that.
The lawyers love to see it the most of all.

[CuriousMufuxka]

None outside of a union that isn't contractual or a possible financial disaster if things don't work out.

[DextroShade]

In ideal marriage is one where the man leads meaning it will tend to be more logical.

[BLP11520]

Just don’t go in not knowing the person well enough

[Ava1993]

I think a little of both. Without emotion you be soulless. Without logic you be heading for trouble.

[Ironic_Method]

The one where you're happy.

[Friendlybro79]

I use my hogic. My heart and logic.

[Anonymous]

Don’t marry you’ll go broke

[Kelly6]

Both is needed

[jimmy2]

Comm sencej not emotional

[Nikki1989]

Ideally both.

[Anonymous]

Both, but more so logical

[sheenagwapa]

heart in a heartbeat