Do married people have some right to privacy? If so where is that "line"?

[Pleebody21]

I gave my wife my phone (hers is in ICU) while I ran into the store. I came back and found she went through all message for 2 years finding only writings she didn't like between my sisters and I. There is animosity between them and some complaints on each side real but her reaction to them bothers me. She is my wife but they were part of my life growing up. I care not about their political beliefs or living situations and now tired of all.

Do married people have privacy rights to keep things to themselves?

Are all married people so united there is no implied individuality or indepenent privacy?

[FrankTMann]

[When I began writing my answer I was thinking, if you want privacy from your Wife or Husband, get a divorce, it's best not to get married if one thinks that they are allotted privacy.] And, so I began: Once one of the married individuals begins to keep secrets, the marriage is all but doomed. Let's be clear. There is a difference between simply not disclosing something and keeping a secret. It is the difference between not telling spouse and old flame called "can't wait to see them" versus picking at a scab on their knee and it was never mentioned. In both cases, something in the life of a married person was not disclosed to a spouse, but only the "old flame calling" is a secret.

If one of the 80% who said a spouse is entitled to privacy from their spouse, should just go look at the vows made when married "Love and Cherish" or "does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth" and of course "to have and to hold." The very nature of a secret in a marriage is trouble.

One other discerning aspect of this discussion is a secret you were asked to keep for another. [Note: this is when I realized it is a fluid topic not so cut and dry.] Should a friend confide in you and ask you to keep it secret from everyone, as long as the secret has nothing to do with the spouse or one's union, then keeping a friend's secret is private. The distinguishing point to make here about keeping this secret is it has absolutely nothing to do with the spouse and so it is a non-sequitur as it relates to the marriage. It is not keeping it "from" the spouse nor is it about individuality. It is about acting ethically and honorably. You agreed to do something that does not impact the marriage in any way, and as it has is not part of the marriage it is about ethical behavior. So, either I would need to rewrite the question, or I would want to answer "Both."

[jahaims]

She doesn't trust you. She is insecure and immature.

[Potteplante]

Everyone is allowed privacy.

Your conversation in-between your sister and you - is in between your sister and you, just like your conversation with your wife is in between you two. Not only did she invade your privacy but your sisters as well. She was speaking to her brother and I'm assuming she thought that could be done confidentiality.

[jennifer_bloom]

I’ve heard of murders that happened over shared phones and partners discovering their personal secrets. I think privacy is more important than the ability to control your partner.

[Brittanykeen88]

What was said that she didn't like? I go through my boyfriends phone but he lets me.

[Anonymous]

If you had nothing to hide, it wouldn't be an issue for you.

[jahaims]

You can have nothing to hide and still want privacy. Her snooping shows she doesn't trust him.

[HelpfulWoman]

that's really fucking weird frankly.

[BLP11520]

why did she do it?

[strateguy632]

,1st