My fiance won’t get married in a church because his friends won’t approve? Should he not care or does he have a point?

[Anonymous]

My fiancé is from a Muslim background, however isn’t Muslim himself. He doesn’t mind marrying in a a church, but says people from his background will judge him, so he doesn’t want to.

Should he not care or does he have a point? I really wanted to marry in a church

[Anonymous]

It’s a tough call. On the one hand, as the bride, you should be able to get married wherever you want. On the other hand, your husband shouldn’t have to lose his friends over a choice of venue. On the third hand, just as Christians can visit mosques and pay proper respects, so can Muslims enter churches and pay proper respect.

I am in no way knowledgeable of the Muslim faith or customs, but I worry that his friends don’t approve of your union simply because of the differences in religion. In other words, their judgment of him is a reflection of their disapproval of you.

[McLlovin]

How much do you love each other? Tell him if he’s not able to choose what both of you want with such a small thing those same people will come against you in bigger things and they will be a source of your relationship problems. Certain people in your life tend to drop off of you when reach a certain place, a certain goal, a certain level. Many celebrities can attest to that.


When you are traveling through this thing called life, you are not able to carry everyone with you some people you have to leave behind because they themselves are not ready, not able, not willing or simply dont care enough to go with you on that journey.

[McLlovin]

You should ask him why should you please those people over something you dont believe in. Not only are they not trying to care about what you want they have essentially made you their prisoner

[IceCreamSandwich]

That's something you two will have to work out between yourselves. You know why he doesn't want to get married in a church, and I assume you also know why you do want to get married in a church. I'm sure if he understands your reasoning, and you understand his, it will not be too hard to come to some sort of compromise.

Maybe you could get married just the two of you in a church, and then have the reception with guests somewhere else? Or you could have a leader from your religion officiate the wedding at a different location? Something that considers both your concerns. I hope this isn't a deal-breaking decision either way though.

[PetLover24]

Though he is not a practicing Muslim to expect him to get married in a church is disrespectful & ignorant of YOU. Are YOU sure YOU love him? If you did, you'd understand his rationale and see if there is a means of compromise.

His family, after all, may very well disown him from the family for such behavior whereas if you got married in a nice outdoor setting as example - as is the increasing trend, rather than a church - the worse you'd experience is a bit of sunburn.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex wanted to convert to Christianity just to please me, even though I am agnostic and never told him I wanted him to convert,

Are you sure your fiancé loves you?

He shouldn’t be caring about people’s opinions.

[PetLover24]

ROFL. Obviously you don't know much about Muslims.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@PetLover24 He’s a man first and then he is a Muslim. He should act like a man.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Like a human. Not like a man. He should put his love first.

[PetLover24]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 - ROFL. Then you know little to nothing about Islam. Your ex, after all, is very fortunate his parents & family were educated or maybe they already did not care for his existence. In other Muslim families such behavior can result is disowning or if considered enough of a shame... death.

[PeachyPie93]

Muslim culture is very overbearing so I can understand his point of view. Some parents will disown kids just for marrying someone they didn't choose or worse kill them lol. But did you know some churches will not let you marry in them if you aren't both baptized Christians. Anyways I would just get married in a building that looks like a church lol

[Anonymous]

Its not unreasonable for you to expect your spouse to convert to your religion or you to his. Demanding to be married in a church before God is very reasonable.

If he values the opinion of his friends over the religious legitimacy of your marriage, you shouldn't believe his vows.

[Anonymous]

He is still answering to People in his culture. So if that is so, He may still have his own beliefs about his culture, Allah and all of that. Allah i snot affiliated with any church, as you well know. I'd be careful in marrying this sort of guy. I am a Christian and once had married a Muslim in another country, Mom and Dad cane first, not me and anything doing with his culture he answered to, Regardless of what anyone says, They still will always be part in some ways.

[desidoll]

Are you sure he is no longer a Muslim? It could be that he is not that religious and still struggling with his faith. Why does it bother him much if it is just a procedure for both of you to marry in the church?

[Gent207-2]

So his religion is peoples opinions- that's a red flag.

Is there someone's opinion who can cause him to stray or even cheat on you when times get tough?

[Anonymous]

From a Muslim background-meaning virtually his entire lifelong support network is-and he'll catch endless heat from them. My mother (passed now) was Muslim, and they're not like Western Christians... they don't just blow with the wind choosing to follow one or 2 parts and discarding everything else. Muslims likely raised him, and he's not likely to just do an 180 degree turn from what's been his support network his entire life. I wouldn't press the issue.

[Jersey2]

Maybe have two ceremonies with two different sets of people. The church ceremony should be the real one though that makes you married. The second one for his friends and have that one centered on fun for them but not religious.

[rosemilk]

why is he letting other people interfere with your relationship? who's marriage is this? not there's, that's for sure. let them judge. do what you guys want to do. that's it.

[rosemilk]

theirs*

[2_beHappy]

He should not care. What s more important? You or his shitty friends opinion? It s none of their business after all.

[allaboutyou2]

If he cares that much about what his friends would say or think instead of being on board with what you want, maybe marriage isn't the best plan, when a guy marries he is supposed to put his wife first and foremost.

[Lara_Croft]

You're a Christian. What are you doing with a Muslim 1 Corinthians 6 vs 14.

[EmmaMary]

Fuck other people's opinions... It's entirely your prerogative where you choose to marry.

[laly520]

thats a big red flag

next time they will tell him to leave u n he will do so duh

[OtterMan68]

what's more important: his marriage to you or his friends' opinion on the location?

[HouseMoat]

As a jew, I would not get married in a church

I don't want marriage at all, anyway, so it's a moot point

[roy_ricky09]

Lol...
To be honest... You should move on from him...
Future will be horrible

[OddBeMe]

He should be more amenable.

Although no seems that amenable to us atheists. But whatevs.

[jimmy2]

He has a point
God ordain marriage one man and one woman

[Zestyassmf1997]

Where does he suggest getting married, then?