If a wife has another man’s child, what are her husband’s legal rights in relation to the child?

Question

I understand this is a most unusual question. Hopefully someone could answer it. We’re a throuple. That’s me, my wife and another man, her boyfriend/partner. My wife had a baby daughter a few weeks ago, but I’m not the father. The father of her baby is the other man. It sounds complicated but it’s not. This was planned, so it’s what we all wanted. Now, my question is; who goes as father on the birth certificate? Both me and my wife want the actual father to be on the birth certificate and be a legal parent/guardian as does he. But about me? Would I be a legal parent/guardian of the baby as well. Could I have custody as well? We’re in this together for the long haul. I’m only asking in case anything happens in the future because you never know what life throws at you. by the way, I have 2 children with my wife already. And they’re definitely mine because they look like me. Not that it matters.

SallyTho87 · Accepted Answer

Ok, so there is some info I can provide.

1) Legal Guardian: Since your GFs kid is NOT biologically your child, you'd need to become a legal step-guardian through a formal process / legal process by application (family services / family legal can assist)

2) Birth Certificate: will be the BIO father, the biological father of the child

3) Custody: You can work out a legal custody plan with an attourney, who can dictate the time your gfs child is with HER (the biological mother) and with the biological father. If YOU want to be involved, you would need to discuss with an attourney to become involved (legally speaking) so you have the option to request more time with the child on YOUR behalf, as a legal guardian.

4) Your best bet is to please contact a family court services attourney. You can offer a declaration to be witnessed, requesting to be appointed guardian of the child, but ultimately until that document is legally processed, you do not have any rights to the child whom is not yours.

** Please also know, You would NOT be the father on the birth certificate - however do note if YOU sign the certificate at the time of birth, this is a legal issue and CAN put you at legal risk of Paternity Fraud. This getting YOU into legal trouble, as you have no biological relation to the child, yet are claiming you DO. ***

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The child can only have 2 legal parents. You won’t be a legal parent and can’t have custody. She’ll be like your step kid, which she is, but like your legal relation to the baby won’t be anything different than if your wife had had her before you met. Her parents will be your wife and the other man.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Men don’t really have parenting rights in the US. You will almost certainly have responsibilities. Most states have “dad by default” laws. As her husband during pregnancy, you WILL be held responsible for the child. Your “rights” are whatever she decides. So as long as you’re right about everyone being “in it together for the long haul”, you’ll probably get whatever you want out of it. If paternity and custody are ever challenged, it’s all done between her and the state. You get no say in the matter whatsoever. Unless you’re extremely wealthy and powerful, like you can buy judges and whatnot.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

You need to talk with a lawyer who specializes in paternity cases to get the correct answer.

My understanding is that the biological father would be listed on the birth certificate, and that you have no legal rights to the child unless you adopt it.

PreferNot2Say · Answer

Why would you bring a child into such a riCOCKulous situation? None of you should be the parents. You're all too selfish and are only thinking of yourselves.

strateguy632 · Answer

basic rights like deciding what clothing to give to wear and what food to give to eat etc. probably no other privileges.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Put them on the BC but you all need to see an atty NOW for wills. Someone who knows throuples, property, inheritance and custody. Congrats to all of you!