I wanted to marry a virgin because of religion but it's too late because I found a really good guy but he's not a virgin, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

He's already had sex with 8 different women.😆 sounds like he just made 8 mistakes and was waiting for Mrs. Right to come along.😆🙃🤦‍♂️

I already see how this is ending, and it ain't good. Let me start of by saying love is not perfect. Knowing what I know now I would not reject a woman just because she wasn't a virgin but that doesn't mean that it's not important. It just means I'm accepting that she flawed. But 8 times? And you're not that old, so I'm assuming he's not that old. It doesn't even sound like he's trying to be monogamous. ANY guy can speak the part. But it takes a quality man to walk the part.

Just do us all a favor. After you sleep with this guy, and he dumps you. Don't hate all men because of it. All men are not bad.👍

Good luck!

[Cripplingkingship]

The real question what do you value most out of the 2 scenarios. a virgin man, or a good man.

I understand having a virgin man is important to you, but a virgin man doesn't equal a good man either, or a good marriage.

Sometimes in life you are going to have give up something in order for the long term benefits.

personally, i don't understand the whole big deal about someone's virginity.

I think you would be a fool to sacrifice your relationship with a good man, because of his virginity. Plus there is high chance you could be waiting a very long time, to get a good man and he is a virgin as well.

[Cripplingkingship]

If this person aligns with your values in other important ways—like respect, love, and support—it might be helpful to focus on the qualities that are essential to you in a long-term partner.

[Cripplingkingship]

Just cause he has slept with 8 different women, doesn't mean anything. The reason he probably 8 different women, he because he was a silly young man, looking to impress his mates, and looking to have a good time. But doesn't me mean he is just looking to use for sex and dump them.

We have history list of things we wish we could change, or bad decisions when we are young, but it doesn't mean that person is a bad person. Focus how this guy treats now, and not his past. He may regret sleeping with those men, when get much older.

We all have history, that doesn't equal a bad person. I regret starting smoking at 18years old.

The only thing you should worry about, he doesn't have any serious STDs or criminal convictions. Other history is not revelant to you.

[Cripplingkingship]

sorry my writing so bad, i hope understand the 2nd part. Haha

[Asker]

he said he had sex with girlfriends only so basically he had 8 girlfriends. but yeah I understood everything you wrote, thank you.

[Asker]

I gave you mho because I like what u wrote

[Cripplingkingship]

Ok thanks, don't worry about that type of history. Its not revelant to you, it doesn't help you. People generally have a lot of partners because they are young and stupid.

As long as he has caught anything serious. Or wasn't a sex worker or a criminal. Who cares about the rest.

good luck, I hope make the right decision, whatever that it.

[Asker]

thank you so much

[Cripplingkingship]

Thanks for MHO

[Asker]

☺️💕

[Cripplingkingship]

Don't get caught up in trivial details about what you don't want in a partner. Instead, focus on building a strong foundation for what truly matters. For example, it's important that they don't have a criminal record, aren't involved in sex work, and are free of serious STDs. If you obsess over less significant things like whether they're a virgin or how many partners they've had, you might end up staying single for a long time."

[Asker]

yeah I guess you're right. personality should be more important than looking for a virgin guy. actually this reminds me of a virgin ex I had but he wasn't actually the best guy to date. so you're right.

[Cripplingkingship]

It’s crucial to focus on key factors like shared values, respect, and trust—things that form a solid foundation. While personal preferences like a partner's past experiences can matter, overemphasizing them might lead to unnecessary limitations. Prioritizing what truly impacts a healthy relationship, such as honesty, safety, and compatibility, is a better way to find long-term happiness."

[OlderAndWiser]

Reconcile yourself to be married to a flawed human being, like the rest of us. And although you may be a virgin, that doesn't mean that you are without sin.

[Asker]

yeah I know but that's very important to me, giving your most inner parts to someone else before marriage.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why did you allow yourself to get this far with this guy? Your choice now is to either marry this guy and accept that he is not a virgin, or break up with him and doubt that decision for the rest of your life.

[Asker]

it's because he was a friend since middle school so we got close as friends first. I've been battling over this "I think I love him" and the "but he's not a virgin" mindset.. I think just his good personality might outweigh his nonvirgin status. but what if I am making a mistake?

[OlderAndWiser]

And what if breaking up with him is a mistake?

If you marry him and it is a mistake, you will learn that it was a mistake.

If you break up with him, you will never know if it was a mistake, but you may have regrets for the rest of your life. And you may wonder if the other guy that you eventually marry was as good a husband as your friend would have been, whether you have "settled" for less than you deserve, etc.

[Asker]

ur right...

[Asker]

thanks

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[Vesuvius87]

If you're a virgin waiting till marriage and are seeking for compatibility in the sexual department then there is nothing wrong with wanting a virgin man.

If he's not a virgin, I think it would depend on how many mistakes he made. If he had 1-2 past long-term relationships that didn't work out but will now wait for commitment that's different than if he had been around with a bunch of hook-ups and tons of gfs, tons of break-ups. That's someone unstable.

[AviatorTom]

Follow your heart... rather than follow advice from a group of random strangers.

[blueonblack22]

You are bit too idealistic about all of this. Not to say you shouldn’t be selective. But you very likely have an image of a perfect man in your head who doesn’t exist.

Human beings are flawed. But his past decisions have not “sealed his fate”. Especially if he is a decent guy right now.

Of course it’s still your choice. But if you set some sort of impossible standard then you might never find the person you are looking for. I mean sure you could easily find some male virgins out there. But they will definitely have other issues you may have a problem with.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

It's understandable to feel conflicted when your religious beliefs about virginity clash with your feelings for someone who doesn't meet that criteria. This is a complex issue that requires careful consideration and introspection.

Remember, there is no easy answer to this question. It's essential to weigh the pros and cons carefully and make a decision that aligns with your values and beliefs.

[jazmiine]

In my opinion when it comes to marriage what one must consider the most is whether they can live with that partner for the rest of thier life. If they can stand together the test of time.

Love is not enough, it takes commitment, loyalty, hardwork (like working on the marriage so you stay true together).

This days a lot of divorce are happening.

Losing his virginity is his past but if he does it with someone else while you are together then that is a different matter.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Accept it and then wait until marriage with him.

That journey will still be fulfilling. Life can't always go perfectly and understand this man is now with you. You'll have to accept his flaws.

I am a young man who was raised and educated Catholic but never bought in or cared for it until recently. I myself am not a virgin but I am now abstinent. We all sin and fail, but you can't dwell on past sin when the opportunity for reconciliation is before us (ie you're bfs reconciliation obviously).

Conversations about it may help too but that can be rather individualized.

[Anonymous]

why does it matter? people are MORE than just their virginities. is he nice, does he treat you right, etc? ? these are more important long term. come on. you cannot sustain a relationship or marriage alone only because you found someone who was a virgin. "oh he's a douche, but hey he's a virgin! this other guy treats me so much better and i'm happier with him, but... he's not a virgin..." you see what i mean?

[Opinion Owner]

also... don't mean to sound blunt but what if this guy doesn't even end up marrying you anyways? what makes you think he will marry you? or even wants that? you have to be open up to more realities than just what your religion is. there's a whole world out there and sometimes (most times) life just doesn't work like how you have it in your head.

[Berethor]

I also want a virgin, but not because of religion, it because I don't want a dirty woman.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[Asker]

then should u and I marry instead? just kidding...

[Berethor]

Actually it's pretty funny, who would believe that virgin girl give an offer like that. :)

[Asker]

are you a virgin?

[Berethor]

I can answer that in private massage, not a good idea for a man to answer that here.

[abc3643]

You know what? Your religion isn't going to do shit for you other than create unnecessary constraints on your life. If there's a deity, then your relationship with the deity is a personal and no one else needs to be involved. So, don't ever bother making a decision based on your religion or his. (If either of you makes religion a priority, break-up.)

[meepmeeperton]

Men with certain qualities attract women and have a lot of sex with them with ease. If you want a man who's a virgin, be prepared for him to lack some of the qualities you like about this guy. Virgin men tend to be a little awkward, not great with women, not that great socially or that incredibly good-looking, which is why they are virgins. Just keep that in mind if you decide to break up with this guy.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to marry an experienced guy, like I am, but I got proposed to by a virgin. What I’d say to you is that the two of you will be married for the rest of your lives. That’s a long time of him only being with you, he’ll be better at sex and so you’ll enjoy it more and you’ll learn together about how to have great sex. Don’t throw away a good love story and reality over sex.

[Anonymous]

Why is it too late? You do realize you don’t have to marry him just because he’s a ”really good guy”, right? There are really good guys who are virgins. You don’t even know if he’s a good guy, it may just seem so now. Either way, if you’re going to be with him then make sure you don’t have sex with him until marriage. The risk he’d leave you without marriage is high. Even if it’s several months or years after.

[Asker]

It's because I come to realize I think I really love him.. we've known each other for years. his personality is so rare to find in a guy. but yes I do want to wait for marriage to have sex but he already had sex... with 8 different women.

[Rachey1986]

You've said it yourself. You've found a good guy!! Don't over complicated things by caring about his history. You've done the hardest part, YOU'VE FOUND A REALLY GOOD GUY!!!

[Anonymous]

Women don't like virgins or wimpy nice guys they like men who can dominate them and slap them around it's why you consider that man a good guy, not some virgin loser guy.

And it's okay for men to sleep around and have multiple girlfriends, but women doing that is not okay. He's a real man you wouldn't like a virgin man.

[Vesuvius87]

My then fiance (now husband) was an older virgin. I actually found it sweet. I've only been with one man prior to him. What's wrong with a virgin man?

[SugarSugarplum]

Choose between your devotion to God and your devotion to yourself.

[236color]

Forget the virgin thing. It really isn't important. It's unusual for a woman to want a virgin, at least if she's a virgin. Usually inexperienced women want some they figure knows enough not to hurt them.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

No one's perfect. The common mistake people make is they look for perfection in this imperfect world.. then wonder why they can't find "someone".

[PapaJedi]

@SeriouslyNotSerious then why are u perfect?

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

@PapaJedi I'm noooooot. 🤪

[PapaJedi]

u are

[Anonymous]

How many women has he been with? 1 or more than 20? I can see how it is unsettling if he doesn’t value sex as much as you do. If he was in a relationship and they had sex a few months into the relationship, I can see how that would bother you less. If he just went and hooked up with someone he just met, I can see how that would be worse. Does he actually regret all of his sexual past?

[genericname85]

you just keep looking forever, cause nothing is more important than your chosen delusion right? i'm being sarcastic, not to be mean but to confront you with a reflection of your behavior so you can make the smart choice.

[DrPepper12]

Fuck him? Seriously. If you care for him, want a future with him then BE WITH HIM!! Life is too short. Go. Be. Do.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Don't reject a good guy because he isn't a virgin.

I understand you want a virgin but life isn't always ideal though.

[onedarkcloud]

His penis is a small part of him. How about the rest of him is he worthy warm loving happy to be with you? Those are the questions worth asking. Are you giving too much brain power to him not being a virgin

[ProbablyClueless]

You have a choice to make! Does the virginity thing actually matter to you? What difference does it make for you?

[Anonymous]

Your gut is making you question it so that's a sign you'll never be okay in this scenario.

Sex on your wedding night will be a very special experience for YOU not him.

[UnusualWeirdo]

Accept that he's not a virgin and marry him anyway.

[slatyb]

Marry him after you've been together a while and you are sure. Leave your religion.

[RedInnocent69]

Start a relationship to see if you want to want marry them. The alternative may be never having the opportunity to be married and missing out on something you wanted.

[DtMe89]

I don't get the point of waiting. I mean, how do you know you're even dating, if you're not having sex

[shortster]

I would recommend you keep looking. 40% of men under 35 are still virgins.

[LazerBean]

That's definitely not true, only a little over 10% of men between 18 and 30 go for a year without sex. Which means a far lower percentage are virgins

[shortster]

I am pretty sure that I got my stat from the CDC

[LiamJHayden]

Either accepy he isn't perfect, or hold out and hope you find someone great who is still a virgin.

[Friendlybro79]

Get over the virgin thing if he is a good person.

[Anonymous]

ask him to wait till marriage and see how he responds

[Anonymous]

Come to terms with the fact that religion is BS.

[Notherndude84]

You’re religion is bullshit if it tells you to only marry a virgin

[Tomisworthless]

you compromise, the good men aren't virgins, only the weak ones are.

[kaucky1]

Nobody even made like me because I time traveled 420,420,000 years ago

[Cheerfull009]

There are virgin men , don't worry, you are virgin so God will bless you virgin partner

[Anonymous]

Give him sex so good that he says it's like he's never had it before you!

[LazerBean]

You're still young, just keep going for a virgin.

[EmmaMary]

Are you still a virgin?

[Asker]

yes I'm a virgin waiting for marriage so I wanted a vurgin also because of that

[strateguy632]

Well technically he never broke his hymen.

[Apple1996]

Find another guy

[LostandFound__x]

Don’t judge a person by their past.

[ChicoFromThe305]

See if he would wait, test him I guess

[Adana01]

it's very difficult to find a virgin right now...

[Asker]

I can agree with that.. what do I do then?

[Adana01]

you will find a man who really loves you

[In_Trance]

Bang him and get on with it

[Anonymous]

Good Guy is a virgin LMAO

[Anonymous]

Forget religion and go with the guy.

[Asker]

he has a body count of 8 and had sex with them over a thousand times..

[Opinion Owner]

That doesn’t sound believable.

[Asker]

who knows? he said he had sex with them everyday multiple times a day, which i regret asking him, so I am assuming it's a thousand? anyways he has a body count of 8..

[Asker]

almost every day

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t believe what he says.

[Asker]

okay I don't know Mr. anon some guys are more active than others. but I don't know for sure, I never had sex with him yet.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck

[Asker]

thanks

[D_Bone_Steak]

fuck him

[Jmmmfi4]

NO ONE IS PERFECT

[Pterodon]

Marry him anyway

[noohair]

Marry him

[Smegskull]

What religion?