I'm not a virgin but waiting for marriage? How do I go about telling a guy that?

[Anonymous]

Just that I don't want to lie but I also want to wait (I'm newly religious and want to do it right when dating this time) and usually if you say you are waiting you've never done anything. But I don't want to lie and if he doesn't ask is that still messed up on my part if I don't mention it or it doesn't matter?

I'm not a huge whore I've only been with one guy.

[LazerBean]

That is more common that you think, and is the right thing to do. Christian men will understand, because most of them are in the same boat. Don't listen to the men telling you otherwise here, they don't understand because they are unrepentant whores who don't rralize their worth is subzero due to their lack of repentance.

[Anonymous]

Just be honest. The right man will not hold it against you.

[Asker]

How do I word it?

[Asker]

Or should I just never talk about it?

[Opinion Owner]

If and when the conversation of expectations and boundaries come up, just be straightforward that this is something important to you. Explain that with your newfound faith you want to do things differently in your relationships, and that means not being sexual before marriage.

[Asker]

Do I not tell him I've done things previously?

[Opinion Owner]

That’s to your own discretion. If he asks, and you’re willing to discuss it, go ahead and tell him.

[Asker]

Oh so it's not necessary for me to mention it on my own. I'll just wait for him to ask.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice

[Opinion Owner]

Of course! Happy to help 😊

[Summeroflove]

That’s okay. You’re not perfect. I think being open and honest abojt what you want. Don’t lie about it. The truth will come out eventually especially with someone you care for.

I think there is a lot of guys out there and it’s something you need to pray about. You’re allowed to have your own standards and you don’t wanna be with a man whore who will use you for sex and/or cheat on you.

If a guy doesn’t want the same thing then you’re not compatible. Plain and simple.

[MementoMori777]

It's not a high body count and if someone falls in love with You, having a previous partner isn't going to stop them from doing so, weither they are waiting for marriage as well or Not, you've made the choice pretty early in your sex life and that's good

[EricSummer]

Best get s guy who is also religious and knows the concept of forgiveness. In fact, many Christian men are in the same situation as waiting is not always easy.

On the positive side this helps you ward off creeps who fetishize about virginity, but do not even care about your religion otherwise.

[slatyb]

Tell him that on the first date. If you are dating online, put it in your profile. You don't want to waste time dating someone who won't accept that. You aren't wrong -- it's your choice, but it should be disclosed.

[slatyb]

"I should tell you now that I'm not interested in sex before marriage."

[Anonymous]

Im in the same situation as you so am very happy with the responds except that @inhua dude but dont take him seriously he isn't really a Christian he doesn't believe in forgivness:)

[inhua]

you've only been with one guy but he didn't have to wait till marriage but your future husband has to wait till marriage?

do you love that guy more than your future husband?

because that's what you're advertising here

[Asker]

I love God.

[inhua]

nothing wrong with loving God

this is the cost-benefit analysis men are instinctively thinking but won't reveal nor know how to describe properly

I would hope you're not using God's name as a selling point to your future husband

[Asker]

Sex before marriage is a sin. Just because I had it before doesn't mean I have to do it again. It's whatever I'm comfortable with, I was not put on here to be mens slave. Oh I had sex once, that's it I have to have sex with every man for the rest of my life. What am I here? Can I ever say no? If a man thinks that way isn't that messed up in your eyes? Ok well she had sex so every man will pressure her into it. Then my body count increases and I'm shamed for that too. I can't make everyone happy but I'll make God happy by doing something I should have done a long time ago. We are all sinners you know. We aren't perfect and the fact that you guys are having sex before marriage makes you wrong too. It isn't about women needing to wait and guys being huge ass whores. God never said you could do that, both should wait. You know what you don't see? If I a guy who had sex before told me he wanted to wait I would respect it. I wouldn't it be like, oh you had sex before so now I'm angry and I'll have a tantrum until you sleep with me. Sex is special, it's done with people you trust and are comfortable with. You don't just have sex with everything that moves and you are 100% ok. I'm doing it for my soul to wait. I'm doing it for myself and for God. I'm doing what I should have done because I didn't have God in my life before and why do I automatically have to become a bad person for that? If God can forgive me why can't you or anyone else? Are you better than God? Or more so controlled by the devil? Because that's all I can see right now and I won't let you drag me to hell with you just so you can have seconds of momentary pleasure and a eternity of pain.

[inhua]

nobody is saying you can't say no. but he is allowed to say no as well if he sees the rules are different for him as they are for someone else

imagine hiring some potential employees for a job. one candidate must have a certain resume and lots of work experience to be considered for the job whereas the other does not. do you not see the disconnect there?

now if your future husband accepts the offer, that's on him

[Asker]

Agree to disagree

[shortster]

Just say that